i havent been on here for a long time iv seen some shit im my time (god i sound like a vam vet !) but you know that dont meen shit people stoped calling me emo now im the hippie guy who smile all the time no one can seem to get to him some one said theres something abotu my eyes something dark if only she knew but ill tell you what ever sins i droped acid once no more no less its opened my mind just enough to let the light and truth in the people are lieing to you the world loves you and its beautiful you […]
in the
I HATE EVERYONE. This is not a fucking poem. Why am I still here… I feel a distant pain echoing in the caverns of my heart.
This life I am living is not a life at all. Despair and hopelessness, in 3 years I’ll be 30. Nothing to show for it. No stable job, no friends, nothing left but my insanity. I don’t wanna go on. Can’t wait until it’s over and I’m free
Oh. Oh. Holiness, is dead.
Oh. Killing me softly.
The water, the words, down the drain.
Oh, the music, awaiting for the outlaw.
Hold it, by the claw. The bear, the world needs to blow.
The celestial mad cow, look into her eyes. Take her blood, instead.
From our, hybrid evolution, never evolved. I wonder, our caveman.
The killer clan. The God of Man. I am the only, a Morlock.
God is dead. God is real. My obscure projection into reality.
The new age is the golden age.
Our soul never evolved, only our machines.
The ant, the ant, they grow. What will be, of behind […]
I keep waking up. I woke up in a pool of blood that one night, a month ago. I woke up. 80 ounces of the hardest alcohol I can afford, twenty cuts later, and I still wake up. I’ve overdosed so many times, on pills and booze it’s like my tolerance is way too high now. I wake up every time. Even as a kid, I’d try at least once a week. I’d wake up every time. A whole bottle gone, and I would still just wake up.
I’m scared, because every time I try to finally die, it just does not happen. I’m scared because when I get these last […]
New to the site. What does no partners mean in the website homepage?
I can only tell you what is working for me at this moment in time. I am taking a multitude of meds at the max doses and my mind is clear. I still have suicidal ideations and nightmares but I’m a single mom and have chosen for today at least to write this post and give another option. I believe in mood stabilizers and other meds when combined with counseling. You have to put in the effort and tell your drs what is and isn’t working. I know my meds and have tried every combination and strength. Some didn’t work at all. Some made me […]
I’ve had depression for 12 years now and when I was 20 I made a suicide pact with myself that if I wasn’t happy by 30 it was time to end it all.
Well my Bf dumped me last night and I don’t see the point anymore. I’ve got a year and a half till d-day but I don’t think I’ll make it to then. These past 10 years have been so hard the thought of another 50 like this make me feel sick!
I’ve tried suicide before but I was found, so this time will be different. I just want to make sure all my finances […]
Everything just seems to be going wrong. I don’t know who I am and am not even really sure who I want to be. I guess you could just say that’s my age I’m 19 going on 20. So that’s reasonable. I feel down. I feel like no one understands me . I feel like am becoming distant from those I love. I can’t enjoy life. It sucks right know. It really has since I turned 12 and just got progressively worse. I feel better about myself personally as time has gone on. Its just I feel inexperienced and less mature in the ways of […]
:'( :'( :'( I don’t know how to start from but the pain is killing inside me..my granny woke up at 5 in the morning and came over to my house just to convince me to go to school..she was ill but still she came..what if i lose her? i turned her down…i despise myself…but i had no other option..i dont want to go to school.
i feel like dying..the guilt is killing me… :'( :'( :'(
Everyday at work I come here instead of doing what I should. i love to help people, I really do. I think that we all deserve kindness and patience and love and respect but don’t give it to each other. Life seems shitty.
I’m living with someone who use to be one of my best friends and someone who I thought was my friend. The former BF slept with someone I was sleeping with. It makes me angry yes, but what makes it terrible is that we had a conversation about their desire for each other where I communicated I would be uncomfortable with them sleeping […]
I can’t trust anyone, not even myself. This feeling unsettles me and my world is built on quicksand.
I couldn’t even stay home by myself earlier because I know there is danger in the silence. My brain explores every unsavory character flaw I possess. I hate being this way. I can’t help but tongue the wounds and look for new ones.
I don’t want to die. At least I don’t think I do. Maybe I’m wrong. Sometimes I know I need to though. Lately there’s a lot of knowing. Like right now. I stare at my daughter and I know she deserves better than […]
Comrade. Somebody. Meet me at New Mexico.
Through the valley, of the shadow, and life. Oh, comrade. A dying saint.
Lucifer has captured me. Echo, abyssal, and oblivion.
Today, let me know. Progression, evolution.
To the death, is life. The whimsical and enchanted lost people.
My name is Morlock, but I am dead. The undead. Resuscitation.
The power, the sands of hell. Contort reality like a space wormhole.
In a world to conquer our fantasy. Here, in the mystery.
What’s going to happen, I don’t know, from where I am.
Yo, second hit it.
Let’s go, we gonna roll. Can we rock and roll.
One day, may […]
I am my feet, and my ways. Guided by peace to this day. I need my needs, cause I am sand. So I will slip in to your hands, and beyond your reach.
I speak the words holding me, like clashing these bricks and these swords, cutting deep through my soul. I reap the rewards for good seeds and still retain some sort of piece to myself.
I am my feet, no, not my name. Guided by hate through this game. I need release from this place and the chains still draining me until this day.
I am my search and my sins. Guided by […]
We fought last night and the harsh truth came out. My deepest fears swam to the surface drawn out by his mouth. I begged and told him my fears and troubles and they were confirmed by telling me they were uncared for and deserved. My being, dignity, pride and any settlement in self were mashed all by his sewer. My place and image in the workplace shifted to the bad plain because of him and his embarrassing mouth trying all too hard to gain masculinity. I am uncomfortable in my skin, squirming with shame to get out because of him. Him,him him. I am apparently […]
I stopped into a bar the other day for a pint of new castle, on my way home from work of course!
I sat down, not too many folks at the bar..a couple playing pool! Anyways..
I’m sitting there and this (kinda) young dude is sitting there talking it up with the tendie, sounding like he had had a few already. So I’m sitting there just sorta chiming in on conversations going on, sipping my ale… And then me and this young dude get to talking about death and old age.
We both made it plain in our opinions that living past a certain age […]
Not depressed coz somebody died. He was old, never knew him well, he was my paternal uncle, he barely cared for his own kids let alone me.
I braved my social anxiety to attend the funeral. I had an idea what it would be like, and I’m not sorry I went. I was dreading being asked what I do etc. That didn’t happen.
No, I was a part of something, accepted and my presence unconditionally valued as I am a family member and this branch of my family are very keen on family.
It was a nice short service at the crematorium, and there was no God stuff, […]
I have really mixed emotions about coming back to sp.
I battled with depression, suicide, cutting and general shit in my life and I have come close to death many times. I believed that life was never going to get better, that I was going to die a lonely virgin loser and bring shame and hurt to my family. I have stood atop the highest building in my college and peered over the edge and stood there for many painful hours. I have cut deep, and popped pills. I was badly beaten as a child periodically and mentally tortured. I came here and wrote angry posts […]
I really hoped I wouldn’t get into this state ever again…
Last time I had these very violent urges,I almost killed someone…over a damn simple insult!Ever since,I hoped that I could control myself,as to prevent these urges from ever coming back again…They’re back now,despite of all my efforts to keep the violent thoughts away from my mind…
The worst part is that,when suffering from these urges,I almost totally lose control of myself.Just the smallest trigger of an insult can make something in my brain just snap,and then I lose control,attacking the individual(s),regardless of their size or number of people in the group.I believe that it this aggressiveness […]
Hello, my name’s Olivia. Now this post might be long and sad but I will guarantee every individual who comes across it that it is the sad truth.
Now, for starters, I’m not here looking for answers, I’m here with more of a purpose to write a simple blog until my final days. I’d always envisioned that my last days would be spent alone in my room with nothing but my laptop writing away my last thoughts and feelings. And well, look where I’ve ended up, so in the long run, I can’t say it was all that bad 🙂
This is open to the public so […]
Un, deux, trois. Morlock. I am a rock, not a gold one, but my blood is. Of toxic hell.
Where. Seeking the nature and land, the base, the refuge, for the sanctum. Eight bills a month. Perhaps we can salvage the Lexus RX and get me a new ride, or something. Seeking the healing party house out in the rural. For the Butterfly empire, transmogrify into our dreams, conquer our wings. Behind the Thirteenth Gate. The saga of the Sacred-Clown, and the Mages.
“Butterfree! Use ‘Iron-Wing’ attack!”
Man, I love Pokémon. Travel by air with my strong Butterfree.
Standing on my feet, hanged by a rope […]