I’ve had depression for 12 years now and when I was 20 I made a suicide pact with myself that if I wasn’t happy by 30 it was time to end it all.
Well my Bf dumped me last night and I don’t see the point anymore. I’ve got a year and a half till d-day but I don’t think I’ll make it to then. These past 10 years have been so hard the thought of another 50 like this make me feel sick!
I’ve tried suicide before but I was found, so this time will be different. I just want to make sure all my finances are in order before i go I don’t want my family to incur charges! So how do I make a will at my age?!
I feel like I’ve been so unlucky in this life and all I’ve got is people round me getting everything they want. What happened to me when god was giving out gifts, I must of been in the loo!!
Oh oh well for now love to you all, the pain will end soon!!
4 comments
Why does there need to be a point?
Is it because you struggled in untenable circumstances expecting to gain something that was never really possible in the first place?
Well that’s what the system is designed to compel you to do… to make you believe that “if you just work hard and don’t quit, you’ll be financially secure someday!” But it’s BS.
Now that you’re exhausted and overburdened with grief and whatever ailments, you’ve discovered a new task: create your own purpose sufficient to drive you toward whatever goal, through any amount of obstacles… but the point can no longer be the destination; you must learn to cherish the journey itself… even when it is so much less glamorous than you were lead to expect it would be. It can be worth effort… but you have to learn a new way of seeing, in order to perceive it.
Other people do not define you. You care enouh about your family to not burden them with financial but what about the grief of losing you before they go? There are some great meds out there called mood stabilizers. They are very inexpensive so if you don’t have insurance no worries. Try that first. They have various dosages and I’ve been on quite a few and on the highest and I’ve been hanging on for the last thirty years. Tried first attempt at twelve
I’m kind of feeling the same as you, also nearing 30 and I just got dumped too. I am planning my early exit as well, but you better make damn sure that’s what you want and you exhausted all your options! In doubt, don’t!
I have no doubt what so ever, thinking about the end kind of makes me feel at peace.