I didn’t go to prom because of you. I didn’t get my scholarships because of you. I was suicidal because of you. That fake pregnancy scare we had? Your fault. I spent every penny I had because of you. I ruined my relationship with my grandmother because of you. I stole because of you. I thought of being unfaithful because of you. I turned against God because of you. I cried over my online relationship because you couldn’t be good enough for me for me to forget. I graduated with the lowest plan possible because of you, when I was on track to be the […]
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Dear ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’,
I’ve always hated you.  I’ve never trusted you with anything.  All you’ve ever done is beat and criticize me.  Hey mom, remember that time you accidentally threw me down the stairs when I was four?  Hey dad, do you remember that time I came back home from first grade one day and you started yelling and hitting me?  What about that time when I couldn’t go to school for a week in third grade because you burned my fucking arm?  You remember how making me scream in pain became a routine for you?  Do you both remember all those times you called me whore, […]
on dec 3rd of 2004 2 years after my grandmother past away and i was dealing with bullies, school, and family problems.My brother just told our parents that he was gay, now you can imagine what mom and dad were going through, well that night they had went out and i was home alone i found a box cutter and hid it in my room. well after mom and dad left i wrote the note made sure i told them i loved them, and i filled the sink with hot water and put both wrist in the water after grabbing the box cutter and placing […]
“Stop setting yourself on fire for someone who stays to watch you burn.”
This quote really made me think today. I have realised that I need to set myself free, I need to learn to leave people that hurt me in the past and move on. And that’s exactly what I’m doing and it feels great. I just wanted to say, if someone is setting you on fire don’t just sit there whilst they watch you burn, don’t give them that pleasure. Stand up, keep walking and fight for what you believe in. Leave that person in the past, they’re not worth it. I really believe […]
Ever since I was nine years old, I remember always thinking that my father was going to leave me. He always used to tell me that he was going to send me to live with my grandmother just to make me upset. He used to leave me alone in public, in the metro, in the mall, on the street.
My mother did that too. She used to leave me alone in the house for hours at a time when I was three. My neighbors had to call social services, and I was almost taken away. Sometimes I wish I was.
My father still does this to me, […]
“Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any misery, any depression, since after all you don’t know what work these conditions are doing inside you? Why do you want to persecute yourself with the question of where all this is coming from and where it is going? Since you know, after all, that you are in the midst of transitions and you wished for nothing so much as to change. If there is anything unhealthy in your reactions, just bear in mind that sickness is the means by which an organism frees itself from what is alien; so one must […]
I’m scared to live, so I wanna die. I’m scared to die, so I try to live. Stuck in the middle and the hollowness is too heavy. The logical thing would be to face the fear to live, before the fear to die. But I’m not logical and I want an easy answer, though I know there aren’t any.
So I turned to this blog last June in the hope of relieving myself of some my bottled up stories and emotions. It helped for all of 10 seconds. I’m still a closet gay (by my family’s demand and not my choice). My family would have me locked in a cage if they could, they have recently told me I’m the biggest problem my family has. I’m at university now so I’ve had a little bit of free time to experiment and be me. But being me has come at the price of my family and their respect. When I came out they took it […]
I served in the Civil Air Patrol. And I was proud of it. Around December, my life dried up. I was around an Airman then. I was angry with myself. I was a total slacker, and was so lazy it infuriated me. I was a disgrace to my squadron, who was often considered the best in the state. The  Disappointment in my own actions made me angry. I was alone. I have been since then. I. am. Dying on the inside. My stress limit has officially been destroyed. Help. Me.
This is my first post here, so if I do it wrong somehow, I apologize in advanced.
I found this website during winter break when I was in a pretty upset mood and reading the stories on here didn’t help lighten it. But I couldn’t turn away from it. I felt connected to these stories. It was as if someone felt the way I did, even if it was just a little bit. I hear stories all the time about people being bullied and committing or thinking about suicide, but you never hear what their stories are, how they truly feel. That’s what really drew me […]
We listen to objectively vulgar, demeaning, and strange music. The lyrics hold meaning that are not widely accepted by society. To me, and I’m sure plenty of other teenagers, the lyrics hold a different meaning. Those who know serious emotional and psychological struggle see those lyrics as refreshing, and symbolizing an encouragement intended to help deal with the struggle. That’s how I see it, anyways. Opinions are like anuses.My generation astounds me, negatively and positively. They act out particular behaviors that are cliche for a teenager, but these “punks” are still human beings. They have the same brain every other human has; only teenager brain’s […]
its done
its said
im gone
im dead
no one misses me
nobody notices
what was the point
im better where im at
if i see a tear
i know its not for me
i wont be in the way anymore.
goodbye
Bieng someone who has struggled with suicidal tendencies up until about 3 years ago, i have attempted suicide at least a dozen times and numerous other careless acts against my body i know the struggles and know that it can get better. I am 21 years old have been severely physically and mentally abused by my father my entire childhood from being and infant till i moved out when i was 18. He has come at me with an axe on several occasions, beaten me with peices of wood numerous times, ( like a 2 by 4) broken my guitar on me,kicked me(normally with his […]
Someone asked me that today, and I had no valid answer to give. The truth is I don’t know why, I don’t know why I have such a hard time doing the right things. I can have every reason to walk away but I always find that tiny reason to stay and I cling on to it. I can know that the situation is completely wrong and I know that I am hurting myself by clinging to that bit of hope. Yet I still hold on for dear life and I don’t truly know why. Maybe I’m afraid maybe I’m absolutely terrified of accepting the […]
The love of my life has left me for another man. I have spent my life living for her, with her and beside her. How the hell do i just continue living without her? I am alone and i am depressed. Friends, Family, they cant understand. Everyone say the same message, everything will be better in time. I say everything could be better in time. But the now is what is too painful. Theres no one i can tell my thoughts to, theres no one left to trust. When shes the only person I could ever been completely open to and trust. I want to […]
The school I go to all the boys do is mess with your heart, they get your hopes up. And in the end turth comes out.
I was talking to a boy he made me feel like he cared, that he wanted to be with me, but in the end he told me he already had a girlfriend, and said that he was sorry for trying to lead me on, and if we come still be friends?
Why do boys hurt us, why cant they feel the same way like we feel for them. Just dont understand anymore.
1) I’m not drowning in debt.
2) I have a job; I don’t mooch off others.
3) I have personal freedom due to the fact that I’m single.
4) I graduated from college. I plan on pursuing graduate school in the future.
5) I’m intelligent.
6) I’m experienced when it comes to the negative things in life, i.e., I’m not superficial. I don’t have to rely upon trivial advice and/or criticism from less experienced individuals.
7) I’m a gentleman with respect to the opposite sex, even if it never pays off. In other words, I’m not a loser douchebag.
8) Difficult books.
9) The ability to write.
10) Coffee without sugar.
Last year I was hospitalized (self-admitted) because of severe suicidal ideation. Â I spent a week in an emergency mental health ward and then was released and stayed in a recovery facility.
I’ve been to therapy and still see my therapist. Â I have a psychiatrist and still take my Wellbutrin. Â I’ve had ups and downs, but since I was discharged I haven’t had any more suicidal thoughts…until now.
I’ve worked at CBT, I journal regularly, I don’t isolate, I have a support system. Â My wife is wonderful, and we have a strong relationship. Â I’m close to my two college age daughters. Â I remember how much pain I caused […]
I tried to impress you but I failed that’s my best skill is being a failure. I’ve been depressed for months because of you and there was no point in the end. I’m sorry I gave up love but you made me promise to and I can’t keep going.
Hi, this is my first post on SP. I don’t want to live in this hell anymore. I am a 40 year old man who has been battling addiction/depression for more than 20yr’s now. I have never been able to put more than 3 months of sobriety together in a row. My addiction/depression has progressed over the years and has left me with nothing but the cloths on my back and the contents of my backpack. I’ve been homeless for about 2 1/2 years now, some of it on the streets, the hospital or homeless shelters. I have made 5 suicide attempts in the last […]