They add up, one on top of another. Dirty house, little free time. Debts that you can never seem to get started on. Between two jobs, make too little. Things breaking down. Costly repairs. Faraway dreams that never gain traction. Faraway friends. Lover growing distant. Nagging mother. Fear of loneliness. Fear of other people. An inability to face the past or the future; maladjusted in the present. Knots everywhere – in my mind, my relationships, my soul. Can’t cleanse it. Feel like roadkill.
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in the
Everyone knows me as a cheery girl. They want to be me because they think I have no complications in my life. But it’s funny, because they don’t know anything about my life. Yes, I tell them funny stories that really happened in my life but that’s what they all know about my life. They don’t know how I am going through depression. They don’t know how I am crying at night over everything. They don’t know how it’s so hard to force a smile and fake a laugh. I always put on a mask of happiness of mine everytime I’m with them but there’s […]
Today is so shitty . And I don’t know why. I’m sad . And angry today . I’m so tired too . I’m sitting in the back at work because I feel like I’m gonna be sick. And I listen to this song . It reminds me of me . I’m sad . Life is horrible . and I don’t like my life . I don’t think I amhappy . I am happy when I get new clothes , or my love talks to me. or when I eat food . But other than that I hate life . I am always so fucking tired […]
Disclaimer: Zetsumei does not own any of the songs or characters used in the story.
After days of traveling, the trio decides to set up camp in the middle of a forest. Rocketman has been training his powers for some time now.
Rocketman: Hey, I feel something weird. Can it be my powers are evolving?
Zetsumei: It could be. Why don’t you see if you have a powered form?
Rocketman: Powered form like in Dragon Ball Z?
Zetsumei: Yes.
Rocketman: Okay, I’ll give it a try.
Rocketman charges his energy for several minutes while screaming then a massive explosion happens around him accompanied by the sound of a loud trumpet. When the […]
There is only emptiness today. I am not angry or sad, happy or even bored. At 2:17p.m. I realized I had been staring out the window for almost 4 hours. Where had the time gone? I couldn’t even tell you what I had been watching for so long. Were there people walking by? Was it raining out? My mind felt like it had been excavated. Everything of value, even the darkness I clung to – gone, all gone. Was this what death was? Only relics remain, echoes of a person that is trapped deep within me. There are hints all around me. My hands, they are stained with blue […]
and i m not even supposed to be alive…why am i though? probably just so that i can end it…
the emptiness coming back in and consuming me. I feel so alone, the holidays are coming up and my birthday is coming up. But honestly I have no one to celebrate with so what’s the point. On thanksgiving I will be home alone, no family, no food, even if I tried to plan something it would end up a mess. My birthday well forget that I’ll be lucky if anyone remembers or shows up. Christmas will be empty and I’ll bring in the new year alone what a wonderful thing. I’m so heart broken, sad and empty and it hurts to be alive right now. […]
Zetsumei and Rocketman arrive at a village stuck inside the middle of a hailstorm. The villagers are all frozen solid but it looks like the cold wasn’t what killed them. They all had fatal injuries from guns and swords. Zetsumei walks into the village nonchalantly while Rocketman is shivering and visibly afraid.
Rocketman avoids the hail while remarking, “That is some big hail. They are as big as an eyeball, at least.”
Zetsumei: The hail is increasing in size and speed as we near the middle of the village.
Rocketman: You think this is the result of someone’s power?
Zetsumei: Yes, I can sense the aura in the air.
The […]
You wake up in the morning and the first breath you take you can feel the sadness fill your lungs. You can feel yourself gasp for air as it completely consumes you. Leaving you just laying there praying you can make it one more day. One day without the thought, sadness, or confusion of why you belong on this earth. What is my purpose?
She perches on her cream-colored windowsill as a robin would upon a branch. Taking a look outside of herself, she sees all that is good around her. Look at the sky, what with its baby-blue face freckled with wisps of cloud cover. Hear the gentle crunch of dying leaves under the tender feet of newly birthed fawns, or the gentle shushing of feathered-wings taking flight. Smell the earth- the rich tone of moist soil mixed with the crispness of mountain air takes away her breath. Feel the cool breeze run his fingers over her skin, over her cheeks and lips and arms, as lovers would.
I always have dreams about a friend who killed him self when he was on lsd. He took it and walked onto the interstate and ran in front of a car and died later in the hospital . We all knew he committed suicide . He always told us he wouldn’t live to see 21 but none of us knew he was depressed . But in my dreams he’s always giving me life talks and cheering me up . I really feel like it has a meaning. I really think he’s visiting me in a way .
the bruises they fade, and the scars disappear. yet I’m stuck here hurt beyond disbelieve, looking for answers I can’t find within myself. the memories burn in the back of my mind and come creeping back any chance they get. the way her hands hit my face so effortlessly, or the way degrading words flew out of her mouth. I never felt so small, so afraid. I lay there helplessly on the ground, pleading for what seemed like my life, but not even that would stop her. then the next day would come and there would be flowers, or a heartfelt letter apologizing. I knew […]
i have to be in the rabb.it room please hmu on skype or something b4 trying to enter so i can get in there and let people in i would love to watch movies with people i just dont want to have to sit in the room and keep my finger crossed that someone joins me it does notify me in my email when someone tries to enter but by the time i check it its too late because i done missed whoever tried to get in whenever i get those notifications i do click the allow them in button but i always seem to […]
Dreams better than reality? Why Dream is better than reality? Why is Dreams better than reality?
by niki
written by niki
Why Dreams is better than reality?
Why is Dream better than reality?
Why is dreams better than reality? Why dream is better than reality?
What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality / human’s fantasy is better than reality.
for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi / sci fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, MMORPG , Interstellar , The Matrix , Avengers , X-Men , etc etc, they are much more interesting, full […]
For anyone who has manic depression like I do… Or bipolar you know is a complete mess . Well depression is a huge mess honestly . Love this song. Makes me wish I lived back in the days to see him.
In a parallel world where humans could gain destructive powers and monsters lurk in the corners of the land, numerous towns are being destroyed one by one. The attacks are led by an organization called the Destructive Intelligent Corrupt Killing Squad, also known as DICKS. The goal of DICKS is to subjugate all of the monsters and use them to take over the world. Backed by the government called Peace of the One, its leader is known simply as Paradise. Under Paradise, there are the Seven Virtues of Justice, each named for one of the Heavenly Virtues. On their bodies is an insignia of their […]
I’m 18, and I recently moved out of my parents house. I have three jobs, and I go to college, but I feel like I’m really bad at it. I feel manic, depressed, or anxious at all times, nothing seems real, I’m irritable as all hell, and I get high almost every day now just to get through all the self hate, guilt, and crazy thoughts running through my head at light speed. I don’t even want to die because of a situation I’m in or a person or anything, I just feel like I’m so bad at being alive and my mental illness is […]
Hi everyone. 🙂
The short version of this is I might not be on SP as much in the future. The longer version is just a vent about everything that’s been going on lately.
It seems surreal to me that only a couple of months ago I was texting a friend to say I thought I was starting to recover from depression. I’ve said it twice in the last five to six years. Things started to get worse again this time when my ME/CFS got worse. That seems to be improving now, although it’s been up and down lately, but the depression is still going downhill.
I cut […]
Who knew IBS (nasty poor-hating Tory politican despised across the UK) tried to write a thriller? Lots of laughs in the comments.
My friend of 35 years and boyfriend for 5 years killed himself yesterday. A shot of heroin in the arm took his final breath.
Others view it as an overdose because he was cheerful that we were spending the holidays together.
The reality: I found a spoon containing heroine, a Qtip from my bathroom, broken pen from my kitchen, an empty bag of syringes all stuffed a grocery bag with a time dated receipt in a local grocery bag pinpointing when he picked up using again. He just finished a year of rehab and I stood strong beside him.
I photographed the drugs and other items and emailed […]