to look around at this world, at the people in it. To see how horrible it has all become, how truly selfish and disgusting people are. I look around in the hopes of finding proof that good exists that there is still love out there somewhere. But the more I look the less I find and the more depressed I become. This world is truly awful and everyday is a battle to not conform to not become as horrible as everything and everyone around me.
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Hi, I am a first time poster here however I have been reading a lot of the various pieces that have been put up and thought I would tell my story in the hope that it will help someone else or maybe even me, so here goes.
I am 30 years old, male, live in Scotland. I have a good job, own my flat and a car. Basically have all the materialistic things that matter to many people. I have fantastic friends and family – there are seven billion people in the world and I honestly feel like I couldn’t hand pick better people to have […]
Gorgeous, that’s all he knows her as. He knows she has a real name, and that there’s a real face behind that picture, but he likes to imagine that same face laughing, smiling, blushing. He feels something in his chest when he speaks to her, but he feels for the other as well. They are friends, him and her, and their playful banter often lasts hours. She calls him cruel for the compliments he gives, and he calls her Gorgeous. The makeup runs down her cheek in the picture, but when he pictures her, he sees those piercing blue eyes looking at him, or some […]
I’m thinking a week from Thursday, if I can get my hands on what I need. This time feels different. I’m not in the pits of despair. I’m just tired. Too tired to keep going. I want to sleep.
I briefly saw the post today about wishing you had cancer, and have seen people here before talk about how unfair it is that those who want to die are perfectly healthy while people who have it all do die.
That’s sort of what a friend of mine has been going through for a long time lately. This friend doesn’t want to die and isn’t suicidal. He’s the 13 yr old gay kid I met when I was 18 and took on as my kid brother. Even though I haven’t seen him in about 18 years, he is and always will be my brother, blood or […]
Earlier in the day, my counselor mentioned something about “learned optimism” which I don’t comprehend. I don’t think being optimistic will benefit me when it is counterproductive to my desire. The thing I desire the most is sleep that will last forever; simply because I find living to be too troublesome. So, what reason is there for a man who cares not of human desires nor of universal events to breathe? In a world that shuns inactivity, happiness is only a delusion for people like me. I pray there is no one like me in the whole, entire world since this is a fate far […]
I don’t know how to kill myself at this point. It’s cold again and like last year, I refuse to do anything that involves me being outside in the miserable freezing cold. But at this point I’d like to kill myself as a big “FUCK YOU” to everyone. I really want to delete my facebook all together. Why have it when I don’t have friends? It’s over with the asshole because -I- say it’s over. Real friends don’t constantly threaten to cut you out of their life unless you act like someone you’re not and pretend to be happy for them. That’s just being controlling. […]
I’ve only attempted once, but no one knew. What happens when you attempted to end your suffering? Everything from how did you feel to know you weren’t successful, your hospital stay and mental health evaluation? And how your friends, family, co-workers and employer responded and acted in the days, weeks and months after. And your thoughts based on how everyone treated or continues to treat you from a suicide attempt. And did things get better or worse after? Thanks!
If you want to tell details (means of exit etc) you can, but not necessary.
It has been quite a while since I last posted hasn’t it SP? I wonder if anyone on here remembers me. Anyways to the story……….
I am surprised that I am still here on this planet. But I guess the primary reason I haven’t killed myself was because of a repetition of parasuicides. Well life has been getting significantly worse for me socially, economically however I am doing quite well and I do have a lot of money, but regardless of that the problem that I face the most is social connection with other humans.
I decided to write a 5,000 word document about how I wanted […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
here’s the thing about people like me
we have mouths that hunger for the impossible meat
and eyes that spin like hurricanes
the problem with beasties with reaching teeth
is we don’t know where to stop
we bite our hands down to splintered bone
and spit venom in the eyes of those who’d muzzle us
my muscles weep for a sleep beyond time
but my heart trembles in the face of a knife
people like me
we are doomed to chew ourselves to gummy sinew
and scream in the burning color of an autumn sunset
and never quite have the taste
for copper on the tongue
Hello all. 🙂
I tried to keep this short – and failed. I just needed to rant. Not about anything in particular. I seriously need some sleep, so please forgive any bad writing.
Today I used my wheelchair for the first time. It’s on loan for six weeks. Who knows, maybe in that time I’ll get outside more and it’ll help me start to feel less depressed. I’ve been so much worse lately, and I think spending more time in the house and with relatively little natural light has caused a lot of that.
This evening I went to a local light-themed festival. People make installations, play music […]
I still want to kill myself. Good timing since my birthday is coming up. I wonder if there’s such thing as a best place to off yourself, as in a certain city, town or state that it’s just easy to do it in? I shouldn’t be fucking yelled at and treated like shit. Two god damn days of living in the city and it’s a pain in his ass to even talk to me and he has the fucking nerve to yell at me and be pissed!?!? I’m done, I’m out, I can’t fucking take another god damned fucking day!!!!
And I got my answer from […]
Good morning my little and desert world…Here I am, one day more of life going by. We never should count the hours, the days, the weeks, the years. We should count the blessing of every dawn, I know that. However, when our days run in the way we do not want, we prefer to forget even that we are here, in time and space. We start looking life with different lenses. Reflections become our every day breakfast. Some people come, some other go, and some others stay with us until eternity. Mom and Dad always taught me to be patience, positive, to treat others with […]
Yesterday I was feeling really depressed. I just get out of bed to take the dog out and I went to a dinner with my classmates. Of course I get drunk. But instead of being happy and a silly drunk this time I started crying. I ruined the my friends’ dinner and I cried all night. They tried to comfort me but I was so embarrassed I just wanted to disappear. They are really good friends but I don’t deserve them. I left the restaurant without mobile phone and no money and went for a walk alone. Meanwhile I get lost in the city, but […]
I wrote this in high school, for an English class. Hopefully it gets some laughs out of you guys.
A long, long time ago in a galaxy far away, 1998 in Oskaloosa, Kansas, there lived a young Twinkie named Pedro. Pedro was a good Twinkie, he had a golden glow to his exterior and a white, creamy center. He spent most of his days watching the other Twinkie soldiers march into battle to defeat their arch nemesis, the evil Hoho horde. One day, everything changed, his father was killed by the Hoho horde, when his body was returned, his creamy center had been sucked dry. Pedro’s […]
Warning: This is extremely long, wordy, and unimportant.
I was just thinking.. Where did my anxiety come from? I used to be extremely outgoing. What happened?
I’ve been stuck in the same place for almost 4 years now. I’m a 26 year old male who graduated college 4 years ago. Â I never knew what I wanted to do with my life but went to college simply because I thought I was supposed to. Since then I’ve been working at a lowly part time dead end job and living with my parents. Â I’ve looked for work on and off for 4 years now but with my lack of direction and focus I’ve had zero luck. Lately my motivation has been lacking as well, why put all that effort into something […]
9 months has passed, the baby was ready to be born. The mother went to the hospital and the amniotic liquid started running through out her legs. The doctor called her, come on, go to bed, everything will be alright.
The mother is worried, she is not feeling the baby movements. She looked down her tummy and felt it empty. There are other people around her, everybody is telling her that she is ok, she just need to be patience and wait for the long hours of labors. But she is insisting, please, he is a good doctor, but I trust more my doctor from the […]