I don’t know how to kill myself at this point. It’s cold again and like last year, I refuse to do anything that involves me being outside in the miserable freezing cold. But at this point I’d like to kill myself as a big “FUCK YOU” to everyone. I really want to delete my facebook all together. Why have it when I don’t have friends? It’s over with the asshole because -I- say it’s over. Real friends don’t constantly threaten to cut you out of their life unless you act like someone you’re not and pretend to be happy for them. That’s just being controlling. All his other friends were always more important than me, as he’d always talk to them more and rush to help or comfort someone else but with me he’s a total fucking heartless asshole that thinks I’m not supposed to have any feelings at all and if I do then I’m emotionally unstable and too negative for him to be friends with! Well the fucking difference is that all of his other friends are THIN which is something he prizes above everything else!! They matter because they’re thin and I don’t matter at all! I was just a fucking stepping stone to use for support when times were rough and none of the thin friends were there for support! But now that his life is back on track, I don’t mean shit! So fine, FUCK EVERYONE! I don’t need friends and I’m not talking to anyone ever again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hello 🙂
I think you should find better friends because this person you’re speaking of is despicable and will be a negative effect on your mental health. Anyone who wants you to be someone you’re not needs to get cut off. If it means you will be alone then so be it. Better alone than mistreated okay ? There is always people who will love you just the way you are and care for you. Stay strong. And dying won’t be a fuck you to anyone but yourself because you’re letting go because of childish assholes and they don’t deserve it, they don’t deserve your life wasted.
I don’t want to be in the world because I’m not good enough for it. I feel like a real piece of shit because I’ll always be fatter than holy hell and no one can really accept me or like me. I’m sick of trying to fit in!!!!
No, don’t think like that. You are too good for this world and this person. If you’re sick of fitting in then fuck fitting in. Don’t. I’ve been overweight for most of my life and I can’t lie I hated myself but when I lost all that weight then became underweight I still hated myself . But then in the end me hating it won’t do me any good only bad. You are beautiful, and the way your mother gave birth to you is perfect. You’re perfect JUST the way you are. <3 love yourself.
I just want to add something really important that I forgot.
While I was overweight I had boyfriends who loved me more than I thought I deserved. But because I wasn’t able to love myself the way I was I always took a step back out of the relationship. And believe me I regretted that. It’s hard, I know, but love yourself. Find things that are beautiful about you Im sure by the end of the day you’ll find a fucking looong list of those.
Fuck fb, get on tumblr.
tumblr is even worse! I’ve been on there for a long time and no one even sees my shit there. It’s for little tweens not middle aged people like me.
I am 42 but okay. I don’t find it important that people don’t see or like my posts.
He’s just one person out of thousands/millions of potential friends and boyfriends. He’s always been shallow, but not everyone thinks the way he does. I think if you hadn’t liked him so much you might have ended that friendship sooner anyway. Anyone can make new friends, and if you don’t feel that way about them you can know earlier on whether they’re good for you or not and it’ll be easier to leave them if they’re bad for you. There are already people who accept and like you for who you are, and there’s no reason that you can’t find more of them.
Here’s where you’re both wrong. I’ve always been too ugly for friends or boyfriends. I’ve never been loved by anyone. I’ve never had close friends except for females because since we’re not lesbians, it’s not like they are after me and I’m not after them, so of course girls have always been cool with me but I’m just a disgusting disease to men, something to keep as far away from as possible. I’ve never really had friends in my life. Not the kind that are always there and would pick up at a moment’s notice to help you out, or listen to you when you needed it. I’ve never had close friends like that and never will.
Maybe you’re attracted to that kind of guy, even as friends? I know you already mentioned that one guy who likes you, so it isn’t true that all men see you that way. I’m sorry you’ve never had a real friend.
I can’t count on that kid to be there. I haven’t heard from him in over a week and it goes months and months in between when I hear from him. He’s confused and doesn’t know what to do with his life. I can’t expect him to suddenly get it together and be with me and hold down a job.
I know you can’t count on him, but he’s evidence that there are people out there who will like you.