So I was asked to paint some Disney Princesses on a ceiling tile for a children’s hospital. It’s been 4 hours and I’m no where near finished but I’m happy to have this opportunity and something to keep me busy for a day or two. It has Princesses Ariel, Tiana, Jasmine and Mulan on it and it says (or will say) “Once upon a time, there was a princess and she lived in N.R.H” N.R.H. stands for National Rehabilitation Hospital. I think […]
My names Jillian, i’m 15 years old, and here’s my story, i decided to share the truth.
My first school ever was Green Way Elementary, the first day of school was OK, until i started showing up at school looking all gross and ugly… It’s because when i was younger i lived with my parents, but then they split up because things weren’t working out for them, i seen them fight all the time, i stayed with my dad for a bit because my mom moved away with her girlfriend, while i was staying with my dad he liked to have friends over and drink […]
Death, sadness, joy…
Doesn’t matter if it’s a sad anime called fruits baskets, or a dead person. I can’t cry, nor can I though intense happiness. The tears have dried up completely. I come about a breath away from tears, yet they never come. For some reason, I hope to be able to again.Â
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My mom and step-dad are most likely getting a divorce now. I remember the day my mom took 2 hours extra to get home and my dad accused her of cheating. Then a few months later, my dad asked on one cold night. We sat on the cold front yard and he […]
Shhh theres fucktards nearby. Listen to them. They depress me too. I’m a fucking troll. Fuck you. I’m bored. Im depressed im tired im restless im angry im pissex im horny im a virgin. Fuck it I’m anything and everything but you.Â
Theres my fucking poem. Im tired, my mouth hurts i dont want to mas-ter-ba-te at all today. I meed a shower i dont care about spelling rght now. Fuck you. I’m so bored. I might have multi person disorder bipolar depressed horny virgin shitty tired insomnia cant distinguish reality form memory nor dreams. My cousin jasmine whom i love so dearly broke up with […]
9:20A.M:
I have summer school. Haven’t been able to get into a habit of sleeping earlier so I’ve been tired. Drank a monster today, but still tired but also wide-awake. I’m the fastest in my class of World History. I finish my work earliest due to my full year of review in my sophomore year that I failed. I sit alone at our 20 minute breaks.Â
They (campus supervisors) try to corner us onto the quad and I get anxious. There’s a lot of fucking kids from 4 highschools being crammed together.Â
I’m attempting to keep my mind blank from those thoughts about it. My memories are […]
My depression has returned.Â
I’m cracked, very close to my breaking point. Maybe I should break already. I just need an extra push.Â
I finally got over Nycolle a few weeks ago and as I basked in the sunshine, Jasmine, my cousin, broke up with me. It would have been our 1 month anniversary….Â
I love her so much, at first, it was so unreal, and I felt so numb, now I’ve begun to become more irritable now. My brother who knew about us, he doesn’t understand I’m pissy and pisses me off a lot.Â
I try not to get angry, but it just phases me too easily. When […]
I felt numb yesterday. Now, I feel shitty, tired, and more useless than ever. I’m going to join the army, get shot or blown up and then that’s it. How will I get through high school though…Â
Sadness creeps into me, cold chills and sweat cover my body. I feel lonely, Jasmine. I love her so much, I don’t want to live without her. People said I have the symptoms of OCD. Possibly, but still, these feelings are as real as a blade cutting into me. (I ain’t a cutter)Â
 I wish she would tell me she wants to take back breaking up with me. She said […]
I, for the first time in some time was actually happy. The stresses of life had finally been lifted enough for me to cope a little longer. I had a girlfriend, the love of my life, Jasmine. She’s my cousin, but now she broke it off today and I feel numb. My body and limbs felt weak, (similar to male orgasm where my legs feel weird, and now I’m numb. She said its weird that we’re related. But she still loves me.Â
I fell for her and I was planning on asking her to marry me in 2 years or so when she’s 18 or so. […]
I went on my first date with Jasmine. Although it took nearly forever to get to see her (about 2 hours), I got to see her and whatever deity or unknown force decided to fuck off today.Â
Alex, her brother was there too. He understands the situation now and so does my brother, I love Jasmine and there’s nothing that will change it.Â
Even though I feel sexual thoughts for her, let me tell you that since she’s a girl, and I’m a guy, then that means… I will get sexual feelings for her? Yeah thats right.Â
But I was so nervous it took me till we were […]
I feel a deep love for Jasmine, a longing to show her I love her. I have gone past the sexual thoughts and I just want to hold her and kiss her. I was reading a sex story based on the Naruto show and how he pleased the women he seduced by treating them well. He showed them he would treat them right. I got teary eyed and my heart felt weird as I thought of Jasmine and as I think of it I get cold chills.Â
I love Jasmine so much. Is this not a feeling of love? Is this really purely a desire and […]
I listened. I broke it off with my cousin. I couldn’t sleep at night, had many panic attacks. This is very problematic. I think I made a mistake. She probably hates me now, well at least I will get a psychiatrist sometime soon. I just texted her and she hasn’t answered, anxiety is coming back at school. Never had a public panic attack. I’m worried.Â
I think i fucked up bad, breaking up with jasmine. She’s my cousin but these intense feelings are real, as real as pain, and until they go away, then I still feel love for her. Mot just plain lust. Yeah, she […]
I’m giving up on going for jasmine and broke it off with her. Not going to talk to her for a while. Probably going to go apeshit sometime soon with my depression. I’m worried, I’m considering myself unstable because my depression may suddenly kick itself up a notch suddenly. Bracing for it… Thanks one_day for giving me that good ole punch to the face my naive mind needed, now I might spiral out of control, and nickname thanks too and I’m sory if i snapped at you -_-
Baby sister has been crying for the past hour, every time something happens, she cries. She’s the shrieking kind of crying, makes me wanna kill that piece of shit. Too bad I have “no balls”, nor to kill myself. So i hope I’m destined to do something. I have been angry for the past 3 days, ever since my little “date” with my cousin jasmine was canceled because her mom has no money.Â
I’m incredibly angry, stepdad brings the baby into the living room so it could cry in my fucking ear as I play video games (not intentionally) and I sit here holding my emotions […]
My cousin is now my girlfriend. I’m going to take her to Conejo Valley Days which is the county fair over here. I can’t wait to spend that time with her.Â
I’ve begun branching out on my stories for my war genre involving my alter ego Rogue Shadow. I would give you a preview, but I have barely started with a mere 10 pages altogether. Let’s hope it’s good. I’m thinking of what website I might post it on. Hope I can get pissed off more often at my dad and continue the beginning of Rogue Shadow with the brutal murder of his parents. (Nate’s parents, […]
So I’m not dead. Apparently the gun show does not permit loaded weapons, it’s only staring at guns and ogling them and done. No test firing or anything… -_- So I’ll be alive.Â
I’m going to ask out my cousin Jasmine. Going to ask her if she’ll be my secret girlfriend. A term I’m using since she has feelings for me as I do for her. I’m going to ask her next time I see her, but I don’t know when that will be. She saved me from choosing death, I have a chance with her.Â
I don’t believe in God, but in this past week I […]
Just saying, but I never really was into poetry. I’m sorry if I say things wrong, have horrible grammar or any other mistakes as I am currently high on weed.
Now then, with that cleared up, I’d like to bring back what I might talk about right now. I am absolutely in love for my cousin and want to be with her. My friend finally hooked me up with the hubby bars I wanted as you can see. I hate the poetry on here.
Since weed is considered a truth serum (used in the 1920’s by cops on mobsters to find all the drug […]
I have no happiness anymore. I have no motivation. No attention to school. No reason to live. This is my lowest point, and I can’t feel better. I just absolutely lost the will. My mind is filled with thoughts on life and a constant need to figure out the meaning of life. I guess I need to be high in order to be normal and to function. My cousin Jasmine and I haven’t seen each other in a long while. I am still in love, but love isn’t the meaning of life so there goes my will, especially since she’s my cousin so I can’t […]
Stupid fucking iphone keeps fuckig crashing wont let me go to sp im so fucking pisssed of it just wants me to choke out and cut myself just to taste it fuck u piece shit i fuckmin hate you. Why cant i be eith jasmine fuck u. I need some fuckig weed you ****** this aint helping me i bet fucking safari is gonna crash n my iphone is gonna be completely smashed by morning fuck. Wheres my fucking hubby bars. You favgot i wanna grab a nife n test out cutting i just might witg this mugh anger inside me im so irritated and […]
I think I will go with hanging. The most clique way to suicde if you dont ahve access to a gun. Especially if your underage.
Also I think my cousin Alex, brother of the beautiful Jasmine, has cancer. He told me that he spit out blood recently. I’m not sure if it was for attention since i have the sense of mind that I’m a bit of a higher level in depression than him due to being two years older. Anyways I am a bit worried since it will be at least a year before he dies from untreated cancer. Lots of pain through that […]
I very much hope that at least one person
in the entire world reads this,because
it would make me feel as though someone
somewhere gives one single flying fuck about me.
I did a stupid thing I put my heart out there
and ended up getting crushed
So here’s the story is:
Jasmine, her boyfriend James,and his brother Nick where having a
sleep over at jasmines house.They only invited Nick because
Jasmine thought I would come over to keep him company.
He had recently been dumped and he was a bit sad.
But I was at my dads house for the weekend.
So since Nick felt like a third wheel James asked if I would […]
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