I wonder how they react when they see my thighs.My old bestfriend cried when she seen them.I think that’s the last time I talked to her:/
I only know what day of the week it is because it says it on my iPad. I’ve sat in the same chair all day long for the last couple weeks, only moving to use the bathroom, shower, or sleep. My only forays out into the world consist of the five minutes to the corner store for smokes. No one calls. No one wonders what I’m up to. No one cares if I’m still alive. I come on SP to find people who identify with me, but in truth, I find I don’t identify. I feel like I just post random comments that no one […]
Well. Those 3 days I spoke about prior are up. The stage is set. I’ve never been so goddamn fucking nervous in my life. Should I back out last minute or fail, you have my word I will be back tomorrow to explain what went wrong. Gotta be strong, determined. This is what I want.
goodluck and godspeed
Frank
never in my life did I think there were as many people who feel the same way as me. I am 45, been battling since I was 10 or so. I have won and lost, two prior attempts that but by the grace of God i survived. However even though I firmly believe I am a walking miracle I still know that one day I will end it.
I don’t know exactly when, but I do know what will be my last straw, and that will be when I lose my best and only true friend Chip. my chocolate lab. he is 6 now, so […]
I’ve made a few friends here on this site in the last 24 hours I would say. I made a post yesterday basically saying I was abandoning ship in three weeks. I have decided to revise that time frame to three days. I plan on writing my note a day or so beforehand, the necessary materials are in my possession and the stage is set.
However, today I am going to take the day to play some music. I’ve played in bands since high school (I’m 27 now) and always had music has a hobby or passionate activity I guess you could say. Going to be […]
Sit on the sand,
No other hand.
Sit there alone,
Heart cold as stone.
Sit there at night,
Have no more fight.
Sit there and think,
Sit on the brink.
Sit there and hear,
The ocean real clear.
Sit there under the moon,
Time to go soon.
Ocean is rough,
Life is too tough.
Sit there, ready to jump in.
Sit there now,
Death it will win.
Stars in the sky,
Don’t want to cry.
Just make it real fast,
So the suffering won’t last.
The most important part of planning or imagining suicide (to me) is knowing what music will lull you to your final rest. I realize it may seem like an insignificant and even petty detail but don’t you think the last thing you experience should be the soothing beauty of your favorite music?
What song(s) will you leave as your final farewell?
I personally would like to hear Pink Floyd when I die. I imagine that before I act, I’ll listen to Comfortably Numb and Brain Damage and then, as I’m waiting for my method to take effect, I’ll listen to Goodbye Blue Sky, the last sound to […]
Since my plans have been put into motion, I thought I would make one last attempt for help and saw my doctor today. Proscribed me 150mg of Wellbutrin to go along with my 200mg of Zoloft. Maybe the new drug will have an effect. Maybe I’ll quit smoking before I blow my brains out. Who knows! Better read up on this drug and see what i’m getting into.
There is, what I believe to be a misguided therapeutic view of suicide by medical people, social workers, government types all chattering about the different aspects of this troubling and discordant reality, but they have accomplished almost nothing since the advent of modern medical and academic study, and may have even exacerbated the issue.
Scrupulously fact checked books, articles, medical, philosophical, academic discourses on suicide almost universally call for a psychiatric or therapeutic “cure” to stop suicides from occurring, and despite titles like “Reasons for Suicide” and topic headings to that affect, they really never address the real reasons for suicide and they refuse to lend any shred of credibility to the endless hours of […]
I can’t jump to conclusions without knowing for sure…. but I have a strong feeling my good friend on here has passed, or is in serious trouble. She rarely if ever commented on here, but she and I are close, so if you are reading this, you know who you are, and your last email was pretty distressing given I know your situation. If you have passed, I wish you peace in heaven.
I’m new here, just made an account. Anyway I’m a 22 year old guy. I was recently diagnosed with epilepsy and that has been having my depression worse then ever. I’ve been depressed for my whole life. I honestly can’t think of the last time I was truly happy. I don’t think I ever have been. Life is too much right now. I don’t want to keep doing this because staying alive feels like it’s killing me. The non stop doctors apointments have ruined my sad at best social life. Never had lots of friends. Always only had two or three but they were the […]
So it’s been a while since I last posted anything. I feel like I’m getting worse as the day passes by, voices are still telling me to give up and die. Last night I broke my chain of self harming. The last time I self harmed was a couple of months and that’s all I think about now, all I want to do is die, why can’t I be happy as I use to. There ain’t many issues happening in my life but I still experience a psychological war against myself. I just need out.
Hello JS and Shepard….. I’m writing from my little apartment in Puerto Vallarta. I moved here on August 1st and will be here until the end of January. I, too, have stayed away from the site for my own reasons…. taking a break is sometimes a good thing.
I just want to say that the two of you are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. I still have down days but nothing like the darkness that plagued me for so long in the last 5 years.
JS, I was so blessed to hear from you personally a while back. Your strength has given me strength. Shephard, I […]
“oh dear babe what am i going to do with you dont cry ok im here”
this was after my last time i tryed to leve i could feel her there huging me from 1000 miles away
Around this time last year, things were going so well. Was working towards a job, was feeling positive and got a real pretty girlfriend.
I didn’t really get the job in the end, I felt really shitty, and me being schizo I went on a rampage took it all out on my gf, and lost her too…
I was so fkin heartbroken I vowed to myself I wouldn’t be with anyone else until I had my feet on the ground…
I use to be quite good with women and I kind of just threw it all in the drain on purpose cuz of the break-up and how it […]
Michael the angel but not yet of the arch
A battle and confrontation like black and white
The eternal Morlock, and the last chance
A little north by the water, we will go
One day, for peace and prosperity
The muck by the coastal, I will be alone
Will the Gengar come, or maybe Jynx
One day, will I ever have the power
I miss you Machop, and I need you
Hope you can come, too.
the pasts haunts me, even more than my future haunts me. it hurts to remember how happy hopeful, and loved i felt. before i felt different and faced my depression. the bipolar. my failures my health problems. the judgement of others. it hurts, to know my future. i dont know. im trying to live. but if i cant do this last job, im so outta here. i would be better as a memory than what ive become. i am so upset i dont have an appetite. i wont put a new post here or awhile, unless i get fired from this job. then its one […]
Sunrise this morning as seen from offshore the east coast of Florida.
Enjoy.
Fish bit well too.
BIG stuff.
Enjoying my last days….
im being hopeful for this sucky job at wal mart (not what i went to college for). its my last chance to provide for my family, get away from my my folks (blood family) and pay through school. if this doesnt go well, well, yknow.
I don’t know what’s happening with me !! I’ve been having thoughts about harming myself and thinking that life would be better with out me …the last few months have been awful I’ve lost weight , not eating , just sitting alone .. All my friends left me, my family is mad at me !! I just don’t know what to do .:: last night was the first time I cut myself ..:but I’ve came to realization that I don’t need to do that ! I need help please someone help me !