I walked away so long ago
left my heart and soul buried somewhere in the snow.
Frozen forever, as cold as ice
what is left of me is not so nice.
Try to warm me up
I will swallow you whole
trying to fill this empty hole.
Heartless is what I am
so I have locked me away
I dont want to destroy you
like they destroyed me.
I want you to fly
and to be as free as a bird
to sing your beautiful song
soaring high above the earth.
I want you to laugh and smile
to feel the warmth of the sun
Do you every feel like a baby bird?
A baby bird is helpless when it first hatches.
They do not know how to fly, and they do not know how to survive without their mothers.
There’s always that one baby bird that gets everything right.
It doesn’t plummet to its death when it tries to fly; it soars, and it is able to go on with its life independently.
And then there’s you.
You’re the one that can’t get up.
You’re the one that gets left behind when the rest of your siblings go out for something useful.
You’re the one left to freeze to death as the rest fly to hibernation.
You can’t […]
Today I have a loss again. Someone who I thought I loved and loved me back. Someone who I sacrificed for once upon a time. Someone who I fought for once upon a time. Someone who once upon a time gave me a reason to hold on. Someone who once made me feel warm. Someone for whose sake I picked up the pieces even though I was broken and left dead once.
But I don’t need anyone who doesn’t appreciate me, right? They don’t deserve me. And I myself don’t deserve to keep struggling stupidly for someone who doesn’t appreciate my efforts.
From now onwards I will […]
I am so alone, so weak, so not anything worth keeping up a fight for.
You know those feelings that are so strong they just become unexplainable? That’s what this is like.
So now what am I supposed to say? “Goodbye cruel world.” Or whatever. No, there is nothing left to say, only to do. Go. Leave. Exit.
Callisto, that I hope to be
A local homegrown, an Edward
I am Leech, the warlock
The beginning, the zero
Sidereal astrology, not conformed
I am, the Aquarius
I told her, I’m a straight brother
I asked her, for her white army
I said there was only one plan left
Then I left.
Callisto, in one or two days
Will she be, angel’s death
What will be the drastic plan
There are no archangels
All chained, what’s left, I don’t know
It’s sad, my time that passes by
But it’s okay, because it’s just me
Give it all to me, the pain, I’ll take it
Just promise me, one day
One way or another.
I am a whore. Or at least I used to be. I can’t forgive myself for my past. My wife has a past of her but she doesn’t give a shit. We are shameful people. We gave ourselves away and now there’s nothing left. I tried God. Called out to him many times but never heard anything in return. I’m not depressed or anything. I’m just tired of trying and failing. But I don’t even have the guts to kill myself so I just live as a tortured soul. I’m miserable. I need to get it over with.
“And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depths until the hour of separation.”-Khalil Gibran
Today has been a heart-wrenching day. I woke up knowing it was the 2 month mark of when my little brother took his life. It has been a devastating loss that has shattered my world. He is a part of my soul and always has been and I feel tremendous loss.
And then I received an email this morning from a dear friend known here as Iamzero, stating that he was sorry but that he could not go on any longer and wished me thanks and love. Love […]
I am having the hardest time getting out of this bed today…. It’s super frustrating. I don’t understand how I’m just expected to wipe off these tears and go about life with the fake smile plastered on my face that I am forced to share. I can’t afford to miss work anymore. This struggle is beyond me, but I’ll take just one more step today, because somewhere deep down I know there’s more life left to go.
Just saw a preview for the movie, If I Stay. Seems that a girl gets into an accident and she is left to decide whether to live or die. Then, she probably gets a glimpse of the life she would lead if she chooses to stay.
I wish I could see how my life would turn out if I stayed. I already made the decision to die but I am still here. Some days I am planning for my death and others I act as if I am going to live to 90. It is actually quite exhausting to live in two extremes.
It is crazy because […]
I came to that conclusion myself and that state of mind is what kept my suicidal thoughts in check for the past 8 years.
But now perhaps I stop believing in what I’ve came up with.
Lately I have to consciously activate my self preservation instinct on my every waking hours, and it’s so exhausting.
It’s considered more tragic when teenager commit suicide because of what they might missed out on and the fact that thing will get better.
So when I see a 63 years old man, who may have 10 or so more years left to live, chose now instead of waiting, it […]
i see my self not just as a wast of space but as a thing to be toyed with its all i have been all my life i had hope but now shes drifting away im loseing evreything i love in the space of a few weeks befor i left for a wile befor i came back here i had some ider of what i was doing but now love and my mind are fading and my hope if i had any is gone
my sole is cold and leeking out of my body im a ship in space drifting a hulk thats all i am a emptey […]
You know. I don’t know how you would act if I told you I was depressed. You would probably give me a useless pep talk then get mad when I don’t change like she does. I’ve already talked to them all. But I won’t talk to you. I can’t. You left. I remember when you told me that you were going. You were smiling and I was begging but you still left. I cried at school. People made fun of me behind my back. You made me lose my confidence and trust with people. I slowly realized that you would not be coming back. But […]
When the venom toutch my soul
A pice of me dies once more
If I keep this up I will be gone
And every drop that comes dripping down
Makes me less and less who I really am
It the destroys the bad
And leaves me in nothing
Theres nothing left
After it all has bled out
Im nothing more than the numb inside me
just a poem I write a while back xx
I don’t know what’s happening with me !! I’ve been having thoughts about harming myself and thinking that life would be better with out me …the last few months have been awful I’ve lost weight , not eating , just sitting alone .. All my friends left me, my family is mad at me !! I just don’t know what to do .:: last night was the first time I cut myself ..:but I’ve came to realization that I don’t need to do that ! I need help please someone help me !
Sunrise a new day,
Night came and left,
Today’s the same way.
Nothing new,
It’s just like before.
Still want to die,
Everyday feel it more.
As each day goes by,
It becomes clearer to see.
Few give a fuck,
Who’s there for me?
Many good words,
People they say.
You have reason to live,
You have reason to stay.
But what they don’t know,
Is what they can’t see.
Until the day comes,
Maybe then cry over me.
*poof*
One year ago today I was faced with the most difficult task I’ve ever had to do in my 21 years. With the help of amazing men in my life, I checked myself into the hospital for 8 days where I was diagnosed with Bipolar Type 2 Depression. Following those days, I began a long road of outpatient therapy. I learned to value myself, to care for others in ways that would no longer hurt me, and to believe in what I have. I made some incredible friends along the way. This adorable kid we call “Ducky” gave me hope when I walked into the […]
Hi everyone,
This is my first post. I came across this site while looking for advice and read previous posts. I’m in such a bad situation I cannot see a way forward and I have no one to turn to. I’m trying to condense the whole story because without the back story it’s hard to get the full picture across. I apologise in advance for the length of the post.
I’m from the UK and I’m 26. I’ve had a lot of things happen throughout my life. I was brought up by my grandparents and have a mother who would come in and out my life as she pleased. She […]
I had a friend named Mikhail Belakov. He called me, asking me this question: What is there worth living for? He continued to say that he honestly didn’t see any purpose. He left a suicide note for his parents and older brother, and hung himself. I was informed of this by Mrs. Belakova, who told me the next day. He was only 15 years old.