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Loss

by hogpotter 8/20/2014

written by hogpotter

Today I have a loss again. Someone who I thought I loved and loved me back. Someone who I sacrificed for once upon a time. Someone who I fought for once upon a time. Someone who once upon a time gave me a reason to hold on. Someone who once made me feel warm. Someone for whose sake I picked up the pieces even though I was broken and left dead once.

But I don’t need anyone who doesn’t appreciate me, right? They don’t deserve me. And I myself don’t deserve to keep struggling stupidly for someone who doesn’t appreciate my efforts.

From now onwards I will […]

8/20/2014 2 comments

Done.

by StruggleOn 8/19/2014

written by StruggleOn

I am so alone, so weak, so not anything worth keeping up a fight for.

You know those feelings that are so strong they just become unexplainable? That’s what this is like.

So now what am I supposed to say? “Goodbye cruel world.” Or whatever. No, there is nothing left to say, only to do. Go. Leave. Exit.

8/19/2014 6 comments

by Bisban 8/18/2014

written by Bisban

Callisto, that I hope to be

A local homegrown, an Edward

I am Leech, the warlock

The beginning, the zero

Sidereal astrology, not conformed

I am, the Aquarius

I told her, I’m a straight brother

I asked her, for her white army

I said there was only one plan left

Then I left.

8/18/2014 3 comments

“Hey Erika. It’s Bebe, Monkey’s little brother.”

by Bisban 8/17/2014

written by Bisban

Callisto, in one or two days

Will she be, angel’s death

What will be the drastic plan

There are no archangels

All chained, what’s left, I don’t know

It’s sad, my time that passes by

But it’s okay, because it’s just me

Give it all to me, the pain, I’ll take it

Just promise me, one day

One way or another.

8/17/2014 0 comment

Delaying the Inevitable

by justdoitalready 8/15/2014

written by justdoitalready

I am a whore. Or at least I used to be. I can’t forgive myself for my past. My wife has a past of her but she doesn’t give a shit. We are shameful people. We gave ourselves away and now there’s nothing left. I tried God. Called out to him many times but never heard anything in return. I’m not depressed or anything. I’m just tired of trying and failing. But I don’t even have the guts to kill myself so I just live as a tortured soul. I’m miserable. I need to get it over with.

8/15/2014 6 comments

A Tribute to My Brother and to My Friend Kevin (Iamzero)

by jasonsbigsis 8/14/2014

written by jasonsbigsis

“And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depths until the hour of separation.”-Khalil Gibran

Today has been a heart-wrenching day. I woke up knowing it was the 2 month mark of when my little brother took his life. It has been a devastating loss that has shattered my world. He is a part of my soul and always has been and I feel tremendous loss.

And then I received an email this morning from a dear friend known here as Iamzero, stating that he was sorry but that he could not go on any longer and wished me thanks and love. Love […]

8/14/2014 26 comments

This bed….

by iamsamijo 8/13/2014

written by iamsamijo

I am having the hardest time getting out of this bed today…. It’s super frustrating. I don’t understand how I’m just expected to wipe off these tears and go about life with the fake smile plastered on my face that I am forced to share. I can’t afford to miss work anymore. This struggle is beyond me, but I’ll take just one more step today, because somewhere deep down I know there’s more life left to go.

8/13/2014 3 comments

if I stay…

by Still Lost 8/13/2014

written by Still Lost

Just saw a preview for the movie, If I Stay. Seems that a girl gets into an accident and she is left to decide whether to live or die. Then, she probably gets a glimpse of the life she would lead if she chooses to stay.

I wish I could see how my life would turn out if I stayed. I already made the decision to die but I am still here. Some days I am planning for my death and others I act as if I am going to live to 90. It is actually quite exhausting to live in two extremes.

It is crazy because […]

8/13/2014 3 comments

No Reason to Live, but also No Reason to Die

by TruthIs 8/12/2014

written by TruthIs

I came to that conclusion myself and that state of mind is what kept my suicidal thoughts in check for the past 8 years.
But now perhaps I stop believing in what I’ve came up with.
Lately I have to consciously activate my self preservation instinct on my every waking hours, and it’s so exhausting.
It’s considered more tragic when teenager commit suicide because of what they might missed out on and the fact that thing will get better.
So when I see a 63 years old man, who may have 10 or so more years left to live, chose now instead of waiting, it […]

8/12/2014 2 comments

by why i dont no 8/11/2014

written by why i dont no

i see my self not just as a wast of space but as a thing to be toyed with its all i have been all my life i had hope but now shes drifting away im loseing evreything i love in the space of a few weeks befor i left for a wile befor i came back here i had some ider of what i was doing but now love and my mind are fading and my hope if i had any is gone

my sole is cold and leeking out of my body im a ship in space drifting a hulk thats all i am a emptey […]

8/11/2014 0 comment

Dear ex father,

by Stargazer 8/9/2014

written by Stargazer

You know. I don’t know how you would act if I told you I was depressed. You would probably give me a useless pep talk then get mad when I don’t change like she does. I’ve already talked to them all. But I won’t talk to you. I can’t. You left. I remember when you told me that you were going. You were smiling and I was begging but you still left. I cried at school. People made fun of me behind my back. You made me lose my confidence and trust with people. I slowly realized that you would not be coming back. But […]

8/9/2014 4 comments

One more cutt for the demons inside

by Adderallslits 8/8/2014

written by Adderallslits

When the venom toutch my soul
A pice of me dies once more
If I keep this up I will be gone
And every drop that comes dripping down
Makes me less and less who I really am
It the destroys the bad
And leaves me in nothing
Theres nothing left
After it all has bled out
Im nothing more than the numb inside me

just a poem I write a while back xx

8/8/2014 2 comments

Idk anymore

by scarlett... 8/7/2014

written by scarlett...

I don’t know what’s happening with me !! I’ve been having thoughts about harming myself and thinking that life would be better with out me …the last few months have been awful I’ve lost weight , not eating , just sitting alone .. All my friends left me, my family is mad at me !! I just don’t know what to do .:: last night was the first time I cut myself ..:but I’ve came to realization that I don’t need to do that ! I need help please someone help me !

8/7/2014 6 comments

The starlight of day.

by PeelASquid 8/7/2014

written by PeelASquid

Sunrise a new day,

Night came and left,

Today’s the same way.

Nothing new,

It’s just like before.

Still want to die,

Everyday feel it more.

As each day goes by,

It becomes clearer to see.

Few give a fuck,

Who’s there for me?

Many good words,

People they say.

You have reason to live,

You have reason to stay.

But what they don’t know,

Is what they can’t see.

Until the day comes,

Maybe then cry over me.

8/7/2014 5 comments

poof

by Flanker 8/6/2014

written by Flanker

*poof*

8/6/2014 6 comments

It’s not okay, and that’s okay.

by iamsamijo 8/6/2014

written by iamsamijo

One year ago today I was faced with the most difficult task I’ve ever had to do in my 21 years. With the help of amazing men in my life, I checked myself into the hospital for 8 days where I was diagnosed with Bipolar Type 2 Depression. Following those days, I began a long road of outpatient therapy. I learned to value myself, to care for others in ways that would no longer hurt me, and to believe in what I have. I made some incredible friends along the way. This adorable kid we call “Ducky” gave me hope when I walked into the […]

8/6/2014 12 comments

Too much to take and no way out

by jessmoon 8/6/2014

written by jessmoon

Hi everyone,

This is my first post. I came across this site while looking for advice and read previous posts. I’m in such a bad situation I cannot see a way forward and I have no one to turn to. I’m trying to condense the whole story because without the back story it’s hard to get the full picture across. I apologise in advance for the length of the post.

I’m from the UK and I’m 26. I’ve had a lot of things happen throughout my life. I was brought up by my grandparents and have a mother who would come in and out my life as she pleased. She […]

8/6/2014 17 comments

My friend killed himself

by fallensovietgirl 8/5/2014

written by fallensovietgirl

I had a friend named Mikhail Belakov. He called me, asking me this question: What is there worth living for? He continued to say that he honestly didn’t see any purpose. He left a suicide note for his parents and older brother, and hung himself. I was informed of this by Mrs. Belakova, who told me the next day. He was only 15 years old.

8/5/2014 4 comments

I simply don’t understand

by Tanas 8/5/2014

written by Tanas

How? Just HOW? I just met my sister and she has 2 jobs now. I can’t even do this one job without falling down the suicidal thoughts slope again recently. And it’s not even a job I entirely hate. Plus I am ALREADY on meds.

Just how can people do that. And don’t get me wrong, I am NOT a lazy whiny jerk that has nothing to do but complain. I just don’t understand.

Sometimes… sometimes I think my past and childhood has robbed all my energy. And now I don’t have any left to live.

8/5/2014 3 comments

Why I’m here

by unlistedodin 8/5/2014

written by unlistedodin

I’ve tried for a very long to just simply put on a mask and fake it till I make it when it comes to being okay. I don’t have much energy left for it though. I can tell my mask has begun to crack and the will I had to hold on and hold out has been fading much more rapidly that ever before. I don’t have anyone to talk with on any of this nor have I ever. What I hate most about it, is I hardly feel there is even a reason I should feel like this. I just cant find a way […]

8/5/2014 4 comments

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