Why do you want to die why not talk over some pie or we can just get high oh its illegal thats why lets just talk over pie lets forget about lifes lies, talk about the fallacies of our mind the pain that you just cant be left behind or maybe you can say just say hi dont be shy tell me why you want to die I kinda ran outta pie by the way my name is guy
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Our time together felt like a storm, like wild wind and rain, like something too big to handle but too powerful to escape. It blew around me and tangled my hair, left water on my face, made me know that I am alive, alive, alive. There were moments of calm and pause as there are in every storm, and moments when our words fork lightening, at least for each other.
I’ll come, soon….and we’ll have our love again.
All my problems have been fixed, I’m making friends I’m talking to people but I’m still a fucking basket case. There’s only a few weeks left until I decide whether or not I’m going through with this… Even when I’ve had my best days theres still loneliness and isolation lurking in the background, I’m tired of false fronts and pretenses and feeling like an outcast even when I’m not one. I’m tired of feeling so fucking angsty and so fucking shitty and being a ***** about things, I’m just really tired and only if I end it all can I rest
In less than 24 hours it will be the one year anniversary of my suicide. Just typing that now the tears swell in my eyes. I’m left with multiple organ damage, some nerve damage and a dying heart valve that causes an arrhythmia. Memories that were so special are blurs and I’m but a shadow of my shadow. I meant every second of my suicide and it was the only time I’ve ever felt free. Free of pain: mentally, physically and emotionally. Free of fear, free from my past, free from the numbness and so alive that night is burned in me. The sensation was […]
For the uninitiated, narcissism is a personality disorder that has (almost) nothing to do with vanity, as we commonly understand it. In a nutshell, “their behavior tends to be erratic, manipulative and centered around themselves. In some cases, a person suffering from this condition can become both physically and emotionally abusive…”
“Typically, those with this condition are unable to relate to the emotions of other people, and see any form of criticism as a personal attack. They may react with extreme rage or violence in these situations, or turn the words of their perceived attacker around to make themselves look like victims.”
A little background: my mother […]
The thing that i hate about therapy is that every time you walk in the first thing they ask you is “how do you feel today?” and honestly when my therapist asks me that question i can never find the answer to it. I do not know how i feel, i am left speechless from such a simple question. Every time they tell me there is something wrong with me, i feel like i am an outcast, being left out from many things because of my depression, taking two different kinds of pills just so i can be normal? What is that? Taking pills to […]
I am just tired I am so sorry.
I hate the smell of my own family nowhere is home for me
They tried to make me ok but the damage is done. Interacting with them does not make ne feel warmth or joy or anything at all i feel like i do not have a family. They became strangers. I am a disappointer in every sense but my sister isnt she is small and fragile and beautiful i hope she can be everything i failed to be. Baby you are a fairy abd im past the age of believeing them so trust me you truly are
I had […]
It’s the little things that matter most in this world. The smile from a stranger.. Good advise from a friend.. A fond memory of weekends spent laughing and nothing else.. It’s the little things we share together that mean something. And it’s the little things lost that create the greatest void and the harshest confusion.
When you left, you vanished into thin air..and when you did.. You forgot your towel.. It was just sitting there, so I figured you would come back. But then after a short while, I discovered you left your phone on the table. That can’t be right…you sorta forgot to give […]
It dawned on me a moment ago that its very possible it could happen. Although I’d like to think you’re a stronger person than that, I felt I had to tell my end of it..
When you left me here alone, you took a part of me I can never get back. Not just your love and affection and the world beneath my feet.. But you took away my reason to fight, my reason to live. And because you knew it would destroy me, and still felt it was for the better, that part of me that fought for something more left with my undying […]
The thing is, im the kind of person people wanted to hang out with because they think im funny, cool and popular and because i always get straight A’s. It has always been like that. Like i dont even ask for anyone but they all try to sit with me at lunch or inside the class. They laugh at my jokes, they invite me to places and i thought wow, i didnt ask for this kind of attention but it’s all happening. That was my story. For 10 years i had that. And then i found out they were all just using me to be […]
Yeah..it’s hard..
Physically I’m not doing well at all, even though I’m trying my best. I don’t know if I’ve ever had to try this hard before.
I’m grabbing the box of tissues for this one.
In the days since my wife left me, I’ve been on a steady decline with my weight and dehydration and seriously, I’m trying my hardest to keep it up. I’m a total mess so I can’t cook or clean for myself right now, but I need to eat. So I have to go out…
I went to breakfast this morning, by myself. Going with anyone right now is completely […]
Life. This never ending charade of lows marred by a few high points. Here I am once again and no, I do not feel good. I put up one heck of a fight but it wasn’t enough. Rather it was against the wrong opponent. I slaved away, hacked every piece of work to tiny shreds and earned my vacation. Achievement? Yeah probably but it did nothing to make me feel better. Quite the opposite, my slaving away left me in an all too common spot in life. All the friends i had graduated and because i dedicated everything to work. I turned invisible, uninteresting again. […]
Hi guys,
I’m a 30 y/o male from the uk. Been suffering with depression for many years, mainly stemming from my upbringing. I’ve treated those close to me badly in the past, always pushing everyone away. I know my problems on here are nothing compared to others, but I feel I’m at the end of the road. I met the most fantastic girl 2 years ago and lived my life to the fullest with her. We was both so happy. But yet again I manage to ruin it, just like I’ve done with everything else. I’ve tried everything and hung on for as long as I […]
Hello again. It’s been a long time, three or four years I think, since I was last here. I’m grateful for the rest at least.
I’ve fallen back into old thoughts, old habits. It’s scary how easy it is. Maybe ‘comfortable’ is the wrong word but it’s so … I don’t know it’s like shrugging on that threadbare jacket at the back of the closet the one you never wear in public but the one that makes you feel right. And the pressure is held back for a time because I know how to work within these boundaries, these battle lines are familiar. It’s me against […]
Absolute reality, if it exists, doesn’t matter to the individual. What matters is the individual’s perception of reality because that’s all he or she knows. With that in mind, at what point does your subjective reality shift away from absolute (or should I say ‘collective’) reality?
This is what I mean: you might sleep about 6-10 hours a day, and the rest of the time you’re awake and conscious of reality. Well what if, through drugs or other means, you sleep 20 hours a day, leaving only 4 hours of “reality”? Do those 4 hours become insignificant?
I know what you’re thinking… of course not. Because our […]
12+ years!!By that time Ima have a family & everything!!My closest friend Is getting locked up for 12+years!!I’m not really sure how long cause he hasen’t gone to court or anything but the thing he did Is already 12+years & he hasen’t even been convicted yet!!I used to kick It with him everyday!!About a month ago I finally told a friend that I got molested when I was younger,that friend was him!!He wanted to whoop my cousin but I told him na you don’t got to lift a finger,It happened.All’s you can do Is move on.Not even a week before he got locked up I […]
Anyone affected by my death,forgive me…
First of,I want to clear the fact that this is not an impulsive action.
I have been thinking about taking my own life for a long time now.This is NOT an impulsive decision.
I have tried to get better,but I failed…Only choice I got left is to start a new life…in the
afterlife…
I have tried to make people understand how I feel.Nobody cared.I guess I am a pathetic idiot,so there’s
no wonder people would not care.I mean,who would care about someone as pathetic as me?
I have tried to be a better person,and I failed.I failed as a son,I […]
The love of my life left me six weeks ago. We have been together 7 years, have been best friends for 12 years, and we have 2 daughters. She is my world, my everything. I’ve invested my entire heart and soul into her. I gave up every dream I had to be with her. She was that much to me. When we got together, our love transcended time. Romeo and Juliet was a farce in comparison to us. Our souls were connected, we loved beyond measure. At least that was what I believed. You see, I have always been depressed. I’ve lived with depression and […]
I’m one half of a dual-military family. My wife is deployed and I’ve been a shattered man since she left. We’ve been through some ups and downs before but we were always together to work through it. Not this time tho. We had a beautiful family. We had a plan for the future. At least that’s what I thought. I guess her plan was different. She has a beautiful family, once I’m out of it. Her plan for the future doesn’t include me.
This is just another in a pattern of losing all the women I’ve ever loved. Nobody stays…
The saga is dead. All the men for themselves.
This is what’s left when faith is dead.
Walking in white, quietly in the dark.
The spades encloses the heart.
Stooped, under goddamn degradation.
Commander of the faith, the saga is dead.
The party from death to life. I’m still down, pick up a few other.
Though, I really am vowed. Steppingstone to be simply.
Listening to trip-hop, what’s up?