my beautiful daughter took her own life in May 2014. She was 17. I miss her so much. I struggle each day to get up and go on. When this happens, people do not just move on. Life has stopped for me. If only she could have held on a little longer. Her life had so much promise.
Tag:
life
Ive always wondered if life was genuinely worth all the pain and anxiety. It seems like in order for me to live peacefully I need to inflict pain on myself and is that really a way to live? Is it worth feeling this everyday until eventually one day I die? If it’s going to happen at some point anyway then I’d hope for it to happen sooner rather than later to be honest.
Does anyone else ever stop and think just how impressive this sight is? not the people on it (who are all unique and amazing in their own way) but the very sight itself that allows people from all over the world to reach out and get help from people who know what they are going through. a site that focus’s on helping people survive and where possible “get better”. For a group of people so devoid of hope it seems to be a beacon of strength and that hope that so many lost, what an utterly incredible place. I would love to know just how […]
You were vulnerable and I left you.
I felt I had no choice.
Nonetheless, I threw you away.
You needed me to take care of you,
I did not value your life.
I do now, so very very much.
My deepest, deepest sorries.
I am hurting so much.
But you, you paid for my incompetence with your life.
I prayed for you the night before they took your life.
I didn’t know it would happen that way, that day, I would’ve came for you. I would’ve ran to you.
Please believe me.
God did not answer my prayers that night.
God has never answered […]
People like us. Only we understand each other. we lie everytime someone asks us “how are you” and we say “fine”. No one else gets that this life, this world the way it is, is a pointless existence that we shouldn’t be forced to go through, but here we are. Nobody else gets it. Maybe we are the smart ones. We are.
I like to write so I wrote a fake verse to Stan by Eminem. It’s stupid, I know but it’s way to release how I feel because I have no one to talk too.
by Dusty96
written by Dusty96
As I wake up in the morning, I see the world that I’m in.
And how I’m not the carefree Jeremy that I used to have been.
I hate seeing life sober that’s why I take these hallucinogens.
As I put the knife to the skin I’m beginning to grin.
And my patience with this life has become paper thin.
I feel like I’m broken like poor little nemo’s fin.
Now the gun’s to my temple and im counting down from ten.
Truth is, im a failure in life. I fuck up in school and I cant even complete something in the summer no matter how small I set my goals. Why can other people complete things and I cant? Why cant I truly be happy? I hate myself. My dad left me and I think my mom doesnt like me. Its just hard not having anyone there for you in life you know? I lost the ispiration to live and I just hate myself. Im going to be a senior and I still dont even know what im going to do when I grow up plus […]
It’s strange how only dead state produces memory while living state is memoryless.
I didn’t want to be this way, I didn’t ask for it. I have such a fortunate life but i feel so empty , so hollow. I’m wasting what was given to me but what can i do. Oh god I’m falling apart, WHATS WRONG WITH ME !! How can i unsee it ?! All the suffering in the world, the fucked up parts of human nature. Everyone seems to be completely oblivious to it. It;s everywhere though , and my old argument the the small good things outweighs the bad is beginning to crumble. Because that is a fantasy. In this life, the quiet guy doesn’t get the girl, the hero doesn’t save the world and nobody finds happiness. […]
My whole life has been survival mode. Survival for everything, shelter, food, clothing, education, health. So many prayers to be loved, to have a family, to belong, to have a purpose or meaning, to matter to someone, to be noticed, to be accepted.
At 40 years old, I can no longer be like this, I’m too exhauted to even care. I’m like an empty bottle of water, the container is here but has nothing left in it.
Please forgive as I prefer to die, it’s my destiny.
I propose a new constitutional amendment – “Life Choice Amendment”
by wndozh8er
written by wndozh8er
the official name has not been solidified but my constitutional amendment proposal has. It has 5 main points.
1. Euthanasia should be an absolute right for those who are terminally ill or severely disabled (such as quadriplegics). This rule should also cover children who are dying as well. It must be there choice.
2. Euthanasia for the mentally ill should be an absolute right for people who agree to take a 30-90 day stent in a psychiatric hospital for intense therapy. If the mentally ill patient still wants to end there lives, than there wishes should be granted.
3. Euthanasia for criminals should be a choice for prisoners […]
I was brought up pagan and chose the pagan path for myself, one of the beliefs in paganism is resurrection. I strongly believe in past lives and that i have had multiple, i am an old soul. I don’t feel i am from this time, i think that plays a huge role in me not liking this life and all my hate of the new age. I always imagine how peaceful and nice it would be to just be in a village with my loved ones and friends, to be a mom and to clean and cook and welcome my husband back from his hunts. […]
How will I face reality? How will i be strong enough? In reality the cold hard truth is revealed. In reality i am forced into this shell that is damaged and different. In reality thoughts of how worthless, ugly, fat and not good enough i am rush into my head. In reality thoughts of the future worry and scare me. In reality i ask myself “When will this end?” when i should be focusing on “How will this end?” So how? How can i stop hiding my pain and my fears and be okay. How am i going to be strong enough to not have […]
Well I convinced my mum to get a one bedroom place and a cheap one has popped up and on the other note I bought a people mover diesel van where the seats fold down swivel around into a bed. I have decided I can live like a camper for a while which comes with added responsibilities and room for struggle of loneliness and growth who knows I might meet some great people or tourists on my ventures.
I plan to get a gas cooker, tinned food, rice water etc and live cheaply around the country for a while I might even be able to save […]
Is religion real? if so, which one? i was raised christian, and i still am even after everything that has happened. I believe he was around to save the world. But many religions have key figures. What the heck? what does it all mean? does it even matter to try and figure this stuff out? does heaven exist in any form? Im poor, we dont ask ourselves these kinds of questions, we just try to keep living. I honestly dont want to live anymore (if i cant get my health issues fixed, or find a job), but what is the point of it all? i […]
If you sit waiting for peace you will never find it. If you sit around simply hoping that life will get better that you will get a sign that there is a reason to continue, you will get nothing. ACTIONS, very important thing here. Without that you can’t expect anything. You have to do things to better your life and it’s not gonna happen over night maybe not in a week or a month or 5 months. Just think of it in terms of losing weight and getting toned, you can’t expect to be completely in shape in a month especially if you haven’t fully […]
I haven’t done it yet.but I’m still thinking about it. Not as much as a few weeks ago but still… I don’t know, some people just aren’t cut out to live a long life. I always did say I was going to die young.
I’ve attempted suicide over ten times.
I’ve never been raped or lost someone close to me to death. I’ve never been homeless or starving. I’ve never run away or snuck out.
Instead, I’ve smoked and drank. I cut and I burn. I think about my death often.
I remember when my parents found out how suicidal I was. My mom laughed and then continued smoking and my step father joked about keeping me away from his tools. They never put me in a hospital, and only took me to therapy once.
They put me on a bunch of meds, […]
As more and more countries adopt the idea of assisted suicide–thankfully of course–one has to ponder why assisted suicide is only available to those who are terminally ill and mentally sane? Why can the option be made available to those who are not terminally ill but yet mentally sane? Not everyone who is suicidal is mentally incompetent and lacking the ability to reason and/or understand the consequence of actions.
Canada has yet to adopt the rules and guidelines for assisted suicide. Thankfully due to a Supreme Court landmark decision, the court has made assisted suicide legal and gave a year for the Government of Canada to […]
Most people seem to value life all the way down to the stem cell and beating heart. As long as your brain stem is intact (as in the cases of Terri Shiavo and Bobby Kristina Brown) people seem to think that the “life” has value, even though they are in a persistent vegetative state. they must be keep alive at all cost our CULTrue says. Even when end of life “care” happens, also in the case of Terri Shiavo, instead of just injecting them with something you can give a dog when you put them down, they just leave them starving to death for 10 […]