i get overly optimistic after smoking.. does anyone else get that way?
i have this whole game plan for life. then when the high wears off. i’m back to square one. suicidal and damn near tears
Tag:
life
Why are we here? All I have seen that life is as a heaven as much as a hell. Why are we here? I have seen good, but view hate and sadness much more. Why are we here? For some, they in happiness over other. Other live to stay alive. Why are we here? I want to know! Why are we here?
I’ll post here once. I think, and I hope
I’m just so fucking tired of life,
Of feeling like everyone hates me.
I’m tired of cutting,
I’m tired of crying,
I’m tired of life, okay?
I just really want to kill myself, but I can’t find a way. I have Ibuprofen, I could down that with Alcohol, making my liver go poof
Or I could jump off the bridge. That’ll definitely kill me. 1, the fall would be too hard. 2, the water is too cold.
Oh well, I’m too tired to figure out how. Maybe I’ll survive? What if I don’t want to survive? What if I […]
I have been sitting here reading your posts and I want to break down and weep for all of you. I wish I could give each of you a hug and tell you how much I care and how my heart breaks over the pain you feel. I don’t know you, but I love you. You are worthy of love and you are worthy of life. You are worth it. I understand how difficult life can be, I have attempted suicide, but I have learned to love myself, so can you. It seems like no one is there to listen, but I am here. If […]
My back hits the door
My body sliding down to the floor
As I listen for the nightly fight.
The yells, the screams make me want to leave
Leave forever, never to return
Life gone forevermore.
The razors, the pills
They whisper to help,
to help relieve me from this pain and loneliness;
It’s only the matter of which and when.
There are times when you will wish that you have never, ever, started this life.
I want to CEASE right now. I wish I’ve never met everybody I know. I wish I don’t exist in such a suffocating world. Tears don’t suffice anymore. My eyes could simply not spare me anymore.
I’m so tired. I want to float away mellowly to God’s embrace. Someone that truly cares for me. Oh God on high, hear my prayer.
Frozen In Time
I wouldn’t say I’ve had a terrible life. In fact, I would actually say I’m very blessed in many ways. Contrary to many of the posts I’ve read on this site, I grew up with a loving family, good friends, and a easy life. But I guess I wouldn’t be writing on this site if there wasn’t a problem…and that problem just happens to be me.
Now don’t get me wrong. This isn’t a cry for help or some pathetic attempt to feel sorry for myself by throwing a pity party. It isn’t a rant on how terrible my life is or the injustices I’ve experienced […]
I hate this boring, bored reality / real life / real world, I hate this life, this LIMITED world, and I hate people/humans ..!!
by niki
written by niki
Movies, books, video games, novels, comics, anime/manga, etc etc, basically human’s IMAGINATIONS is a hundred times FAR much more interesting than this very LIMITING reality / real-world / real-life here in this world!
and what’s even worse is that most (about 90%) of humans / people I meet & know everyday are mostly stupid, shallow, superficial, mundane/boring, money and profits and image driven only, ignorant,.. mostly human beings especially today these days are much more bad & hopeless ..!!
(there are -thankfully/luckily?- only FEW humans/people that I like, eg: the very creative/imaginative & ‘other-worldly’ artists who created/made all those awesome fantasy, sci-fi stories, novels, books, […]
It’s been 3 years since i last made a post on here about my depression. Let’s just say I’m the happiest I’ve really ever been. I coped with my depression by exercising and being healthy, doing so I lost 20 pounds in the process which I am happy about. When year 10 of school started I decided I would try something risky and I did. I tried out for the foreign exchange program to go overseas. With the risky decision I succeeded and am now going to Germany in July. And this is all because I found a way to cope with my depression and […]
The pain,
Inside,
The dark,
Where it seems to hide,
The walls are closing in,
And the razors?
Well they call my name,
screaming,
loud,
loud,
LOUDER,
Til i cant take it,
I run,
Tears streaming down my face,
My heart,
Pounding,
Finally,
I sit and cry,
Razor in hand,
Back against the door,
Music,
Its blaring out the speakers,
I slowly slide the razor over the soft skin of my wrist,
Blood,
It drips,
A puddle,
Starts to form,
I now can finally sleep,
In peace,
This is how i deal with life,
Cuts all up my arms……
I hope you can make me love myself more.
I hope you can make life a little more sure.
I hope you can touch me and make me feel good.
I hope I’ll make you happy, as for that I should.
I hope you’ll make me pretty, inside and out.
I hope you’ll show me what supposed ‘love’ is all about.
I hope you’ll make me happy, certain and bright.
I hope you can make it turn out alright.
I hope you can stop me from being so wrong.
I hope you’ll give me reason to go on.
I hope you’ll like music and show me fun.
I hope you’ll show how enjoying life is done.
I […]
If you are reading this, please listen with an open heart.
My best friend committed suicide on March 14th. She had an account on this website that i just came across and she had posted asking about ways she could do it, and my already shattered heart broke a thousand times more as i read the comments telling her how. As much as apart of me wants to respond with so much anger to anyone who encouraged her in how to end her life, a bigger part of me also breaks for all the others who were in her same numb state. She had talked with […]
I could never say this in public. I get such a hopeful feeling when I read about SP members who have escaped this life. It’s tragic that they, or anyone, would suffer so much that they have to kill themselves. But being in that hell myself, I can only focus on the escape, imagining myself in their place, and using that to remind myself that there is an end to this pain.
I guess we talk & think about it so much, some of us for years, that suicide starts to feel like an impossible dream. Sometimes the more we obsess over an idea, the more […]
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I believe that is true but life gets so hard and out of control sometimes that for most of us we feel it is the only way out. It think that life is a gift that people misuse. Think about every person that has ever done you wrong, hurt you, and driven you to the point where you just want out…. Now forgive them. Sounds hard right? I’m telling you to forgive the person that has mistreated you, beat you, or made you feel worthless. if you forgive them you will have this peace of mind […]
Im 16, I do independent study. People just say “join a club” or “find a hobby” but I dont even know where to start. I dont really have any hobbys, Â I kickbox and do jiu jitsu 3 times a week but its only adults in there. What are some examples of youth clubs that are usually in towns? I can feel myself cracking without anyone to share this this life with.
To those who are thinking of killing thelmselves ….STOP…take a moment to consider the reality of what will happen. Suicide is the single most selfish thing you could do. The pain you feel right now will not be gone, it will simply be transferred to the people you leave behind. They will never have a chance to say “I love you” again, they will never have a chance to give you a hug or a pat on the back for something good you may not have even known you were doing, they will never have a chance to tell you a joke and see your beautiful and unique […]
labors/slaves/employees:
1 Â – Â Â 25 Â study
25 – Â Â * Â Â Â job
Humans: Â Â Â
1 Â Â – Â Â 25 Â Â study
25- Â Â Â * Â own a company/author/travel/donate 1 billion/1 year at ganges…lot more
anything except working for others organization as job doer is called as human life
if you know any human being wasting their life on working for others organization, tell him is a human not slave and also warn him 90% of human race had became slaves just because of people like him
Why am I here
What the fuck am I doing
I hate life
I’m just holding on
Why
What’s the point
Haunted by my own thoughts
kill yourself
They gently whisper
…I may oblige
here I am laying in bed after a night of almost no sleep like every other night since ive been on these pills…im just to weak to move anymore its only a matter of time before my “sister” comes in yelling calling me names telling me to get up but I dont have the strength anymore im looking for a way to end this life,ive tried overdosing but that didnt work so I need something worse I dont care anymore if people are upset if I die because if they cared they would try to understand my pain but they dont even talk to me […]
Cold blue steel
Pressed to my temple
I tremble some
this trigger has always been light
No tears will spill
for me, not for me
only anger for the mess
I will leave
A half-century of life
like trash in the wind
leaves me so angry
– that my old man didn’t jack off in the sink