I’m 21, (ya I know I’m young) .. My whole life has been nothing but suffering. I’ve been bullied since I could remember. I’ve had my ups and down’s but have been depressed for many years. It’s at its worst right now. I don’t have a licence, I don’t have a job, I don’t have highschool, I will never see college. I don’t even know what I want to do for my future. I don’t even see me having a future. My boyfriend left me because he “doesn’t love me” anymore. He can’t understand what I’m going through. We still talk. He’s going to be dating someone […]
Tag:
Lonely
It has been a year and a half since i have seen your smiling faces.
why did i let it come to this. i have nothing but remorse for not being there to see yall grow and learn. there is so much i have and will miss. Being here is not the same without yall. i regret the days i should have cherished, for i will never have them back. Love dont live here anymore, Its been cold since you went away. Im sorry for what is to come, ill always love you. There is no place in this world for me. just remember how i […]
stuck in a hole in south east asia, wanted by the authorities, hiding like a scared dog. truth be known, I’ve been hiding my entire life. severe depression since childhood, won’t get into the abuse i suffered but its has haunted me thru  my adult life. I crapped in my mess kit and now i have no way out other than death and frankly i don’t care any longer. Im only writing because its lonely as all hell here. I suppose dying is to be a private matter, but every step is agony and isolation. I believe the plastic bag and morphine is the way […]
I used to self-harm..
It wasn’t serious.. It only used to be scars.. Only once it bled, and when it did, it didn’t bleed that much.
I started this year.. At the beginning of this year.. When I was 12. Now, I’m 13.
I don’t know what got to me but I broke.. I was depressed and no one knew about it.. My past was No one was there. I did have friends, but none of them knew about what I did to myself. I was never a talker. So none of them really knew.. Which was good. No one would really know me.. I tried to spill […]
I’m a 16 year old boy who is thinking about Suicide all the time, doesn’t matter where i am or what i’m doing. I don’t have a standard story, mabye i can cry about having disvorced parents or being bullied in primary school but that aren’t really reasons i contemplate about suicide. I’ve never had therapy, i think none knows how i am… I’ve tried a “online” therapy “test” and as diagnosis came out i am severely depressed. I’ve propably been depressed since i was 14 but none saw it, neither did i.
When i read post on this site i always see the sentence: Life gets better, […]
As part of my behavior intervention plan it was decided that i shouldnt come on here as often.My plan for death after the family trip is still in motion.Im aware that i could die but its to late to stop cause everything has all been planned out.And for me i dont stop when ive decided to do something.Theres no turning back.Its sad cause my mom said today that ive changed and grown a lot.I agree with her in all ways except one and that is im still sad.Just this general doom and gloom about everything.I cant even call my friend from the hospital cause im […]
I hate living but I’m too afraid to die. I hate myself for it.
by HangedKiller
written by HangedKiller
Hi, I’m HangedKiller, and this is my story.
Obviously, HangedKiller is not my real name. I don’t know why I’m talking about this on the internet, but there’s something screaming inside of me.
I attempted suicide by hanging the summer of 2009.
Asian families have no room for your opinions or your dreams. I became accustomed to the ‘sit down and shut up’ routine.
Becoming used to being nothing is so horrible.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t live up to their expectations. No matter how much I lived for their ideals, it started falling apart in sophomore year of high school. I was a 4.0 student until then, and then depression hit […]
I always thought I was a strong, kind and confident girl who everyone relayed on and came to for help. I was a good friend. But whenever I did something kind, I never got anything in return. Society ruined me. I wanted to put my life on track again but it didn’t seem to work out. People made me nervous. They said words they never thought that I’d over think off at night.
I cry a lot and it’s pretty weird how I fake smile everyday and I pass through the day then, I remember everything at night.
I used to tell people they are strong and life goes […]
Quit Worrying About How You Look, it’s About Whats On The Inside!
i don’t care who you are. your beautiful and amazing in your own unique and special way, please don’t let what he/she says make you stop believing that. the people who hurt you most are the ones who usually are the closest to you…but don’t beat yourself up, and depress yourself with it, because they may have called you ugly. stupid. fat. etc..but only you can believe them..only you can take it to heart. only you can take it as far as it gets. You, are Your Biggest Enemy. free yourself from mental slavery, […]
Basically I feel like I want to die most days. Some days I am ok, but I am a very depressed person, I let my depression consume me. I really need some anti-depressants, but I am still waiting for my health insurance to kick-in so I can see a psychiatrist. I believe in God, but I don’t understand why I feel bad enough to want to kill myself. I’ve been thinking about killing myself for years but something always stops me. I don’t think I will actually kill myself, but I have thought about how I would do it.
I am currently living in Philly, […]
I’ve wanted to kill myself since i was 16, i have tried a few times. i cut my arms open and tried to OD on pain killers but have always been caught before i went. I have always been lonely. I have never had a friend or girlfriend in my life. I can guarantee that no one will ever love me outside my family, and I’m sure that many people would kill even for that, but it just isn’t the same. I feel all the more like worthless crap because of that. I had no reason to want this until recently, but i still did. I […]
I’m so lonely…  I really want to fall in love again. But nothing is good enough for me. And I’m not good enough for my crushes. Why do I always chase after popular, handsome guys who have no interest in me? Why can’t I be happy with a guy who actually likes me? Just because they aren’t handsome? But… Maybe I should try o date with some simple guy? But.. I really can’t… I just feel worthless because of them… I don’t like them and I don’t want them, so why they are trying to get me anyways?
And there’s very handsome guy in my school that […]
Hey I think Ive realised that maybe I am single because of insecurities, Ive been on the sick a long time for depression and neurolical problems, have a big drug history and Ive lived quite a painful life that maybe i think is just different to what women are looking for. maybe I try to give a different impression but it ends up making me look like a twat, only really on line , but I think in other ways not on the net its also hampering my chances of finding someone. If someone does like me in real life I usually either miss my opportunity or pull […]
I’ve been married now for almost 5 years. I live in a state without my immediate family. I have tried to make friends, but it always seems like I end up with the selffish ones. I Never thought moving to a new state would make it so hard to find a place where I can fit in. I try to make friends so I can have someone to hangout with or talk to when I need a friend. It is so hard to use my out of state family, because I don’t want them to worry about me if something is hurting me.
Lately, I […]
So I had me an hour of sleep, awesome. Got to plaster on some emotions so I can blend into this dark landscape that’s my life and carry on one more day.
I can’t hang on anymore, I can’t grip on reality, it feels like one tiny more push by a friend or family member or a tiny indirect threat etc will push me to taking 60 pherngan tablets.
I’m so lonely…..
I don’t know why I have felt bad all this time. I don’t even know why I’m currently feeling so down. Looking at my life, you would say that it’s a really good life. Yeah I do have my ups and downs, but I come from a rich family, I have straight A’s in school, I have tons of friends, I’m usually always in a relationship, whether serious or not, I’m an outgoing, friendly person, I get invited to parties, and I’m really athletic. I play basketball, tennis, soccer, and swimming weekly and If I’m not exercising, I’m hanging out with my friends. So why […]
My cousin did it. When he was eighteen, about a week before my fifteenth birthday. Eighteen years old. He had almost graduated high school. He was the greatest person in the entire world to me–my hero, my idol, my best friend. When he took himself away from us, I could not get it through my head. Why would he do this to us? Why would he deprive the world of his existence and leave the rest of us here to pick up the pieces? I simply could not understand.
Now that I am eighteen, I understand perfectly. He viewed the world the exact same way I […]
Hey everyone, I am having problems with love right now. Â I was trying to find a girlfriend but I mostly see girls that are kissing guys or gay girls. Â As a result I just feel left out because I am single. Â After a while of being single, I became lovesick. Â I lay on my bed not socializing anyone, just thinking about myself just trying to find a girl but to no avail. Â Worst case scenario, I feel like committing suicide. Â I just can’t handle being lonely and dateless. Whenever I look at teen pictures that show a girl and a boy kissing each other or […]
I can’t complain too much about my life. Both my parents love me, though sometime I find myself thinking it’s because they have to. I have a little sister and an older brother. Things I have to complain about are typical in our now a day system.
I’ll start with my siblings.
My little sister is a princess at heart but a complete wannabe to the darker side of life. She loves shopping for clothes and toys alike. Though fakes being bored. She loves the colors pink and purple and does her best to hide it. We all know how good little kids are at hiding things. […]