I’m so confused…like during the day I’m fine and all but when I get home I just get these voices in my head telling me that I’m worthless and ugly and so many more names. I try to let out my pain by cutting but it doesn’t work anymore…I don’t feel it…I’m numb. I’m scared to tell my friends that I harm myself because they make jokes about people killing themselves and hurting themselves…I can’t lose them because they are all I have…I’m dying on the inside…I’m trapped…if I lose them then it’ll drive me off the edge…I’m scared to ask for help…I’m scared of […]
Tag:
lose
Three months ago I lost my partner of 6 years (he dumped me because he “didn’t know what he wanted”), job & home all in the one day. I was broke, homeless & in a state of severe shock that caused me to lose 10kg in a week. I’ve only just gotten over the panic attacks, heart-attack-like chest pain & anxiety induced shaking.
What I want to know is this: does life actually get any better, or are we just fooling ourselves?
I’ve been working on myself, getting a new job & trying to lose more weight but I’m still miserable & my chest physically hurts, like […]
I want to end up my pain not my life but to end up this horrible pain I need to die. I want to cut my hand’s arteries so I would die quickly in 15 minutes so even if they took me to the emergency there will be no time to save my life . I think this is the best solution for everyone and to make everyone happy . I don’t know when will I cut because I want to say bye to some people . thank you everyone in this website yes you were strangers but you helped me more than […]
It’s been a while since I’ve been on here. I’ve been really busy with work and such.
Things are going rough and I on’y have until the 30th of this month to turn things around or I’ll lose everything.
These are my choices:
1) Default on my storage units and lose all mine and my late husbands possessions.
2) Sell my body to come up with $400 by the 30th.
3) Chain myself to a tree in the middle of nowhere tonight in soaking wet clothes and freeze to death.
Out of those options, which would you choose and why? What do you think I should do?
I’m working, but I don’t […]
OK this is my big RANT post of the day or even the week. I call it WHATS THE POINT. (( dont read it if your sensitive ))
Ive been around for more than 4 decades and after all my days of living I find that there are certain things that just really suck about life in general.
One) Life is not fair. Some people are born into well off familys and have a loving careing family that provides a good childhood for them and able to supply them with all a child needs to be happy and to havea good education and proper nutrition etc. While […]
I turned 25 Monday. I feel old. days with my boyfriend go up and down the arguments got bad then I finally stood up for myself and he realized he was close to losing me. I can’t lose him again I just can’t. but the craving for death is always here.. yes I know this made no sense. ps wanted to apologize for never posting my life story, I still keep putting it off
I have a long list of psychological problems and conditions. I once had passion for life and love, but no more. My level of intelligence, education, similar issues, and past compel me to make comparisons with that popular actor on The Big Bang Theory. The asexuality aspect of it isn’t a result of E.D. or some physical dis-function. I no longer desire any kind of relationship. I always knew I would die alone. Now I can’t imagine it any other way. As is par for the course, I had my share of suicidal thoughts, cutting, and even a real attempts. Bad news for the younger readers; […]
Nothings seems to be okay anymore I’m tired of trying to make everyone happy I wish it was easy to be what everyone expects but I don’t know how to try anymore. There’s to much to understand to much to wish went right. How can I smile when all I do is lose every fight.
Death.
You heard me. All I want from this life, all I’m asking, is to just fucking die. I don’t want no well-paid job, no expensive car(s), no bank accounts full of money… I just want to be exterminated from this world, and return to my place of origin, the place I was before being born, wherever that is…
The thing holding me back? My parents. They might not feel very close to me (well, at least one of them may not), but I love them more than anything, even though they walk on my fucking nerves sometimes and don’t give a fuck about how I feel…
My […]
life is love for somebody but when you love somebody you will miss them and it hurts but when you lose those you love and miss you feel like you got hit by evrything bad but in time you lern to see the little shine there is in death and when you find out what death is you wil know that it is a pretty thing,
someone tell me a motivating story so I don’t lose hope on this thing we call “life”
Well. I’m afraid I’m going to lose a friend to suicide, no matter how hard I tried to make him see otherwise. It’s ultimately his choice. And I’m not gonna force him to change. But the more I think about why I’m still here myself, is I just don’t have the damn luxury to commit suicide like some of the lucky people do. I just don’t have the luxury. I have too many people to take care of. And if I didn’t have one scrap of love for them, then I’d say fuck off and then hang myself like I always think about. But I […]
Its been around two weeks since i started starvation, this is definetely not a way to go if you want to go peacefully, my body weight is at an all time low, my body is weak and any physical task is hell. Keeping composure at work and acting normal is the hardest of task. Im not sure if im hallucinating due to it, theres always something there edging me on to just finish myself off faster. I often find myself speaking to it or myself, my memories are a bit faded and does not feel like my own. The depression and anxiety remains strong. I […]
I have no idea how long its been since i was last on here but i know its been awhile. I miss coming on the site everyday reading everyone’s stories, trying to help.
This week has been really rough for me. I have had 2 friends who tried killing themselves. Honestly i cant take this anymore. It hurts. I stayed up 2 nights in a row trying to talk one of them out. But it didn’t work…he tried and failed, thank god. I dont know what i would do without him in my life, he has talked me out of suicide a lot. theres something about […]
When I’m around normals, I feel like nobody could ever understand the amount of hurt I feel. So I come somewhere where nobody knows me. I share my pain. Some people look at it like they couldn’t ever imagine going through something so horrible. Others look and say “wow, what a spoiled brat. I’ve had it twice as hard.”
Only the dead are winners here.
Don’t we all like to lose?
Seeing as the nights are simply growing colder no matter the weather outside the glass or the amount of sheets I attempt to crawl beneath, I find myself here again. From time to time, this feeling engulfs my body only to later show the stressing of my seams. Dearest, the shadows I live with are numberless; and, as if this statement werent true enough as is, I am a walking suicidal anomaly with as many wounds as demons to show for.
My body is a constant reminder of the years of drug abuse and self inflicted torture. There isn’t a day I awake to feel regret […]
What should I do if my friend is fantasizing about my boyfriend? She told me herself that she was fantasizing about my boyfriend…and my boyfriend said he has thought of the same way with her, but he says he loves me and he means it.
I don’t know what to do about it……it’s making me uncomfortable.
I don’t want to lose my friend or my boyfriend, but I’m afraid if I tell them I feel uncomfortable about it..I’ll make them upset. It makes me feel like I don’t deserve him…
p.s
I don’t really know about relationships, since this is my first one…i don’t know how […]
Dear Reader,
Thank you for taking a moment to read my last thoughts. It is appreciated even in death.
What did I do? I took a huge amount of pills.
Why did I do it? I couldnt stand the physical and emotional pain anymore. The stress of day to day life was too much for this fragile soul.
That being said, I will be in a better place. I know my family will miss me, but they will get over it in time. I’ve tried the “just wait, things will get better” game. It seems only those cut out for life get over these things. I’m just not meant […]
Where do you go when there is no where to go but down? My feelings of hopelessness and helplessness have escalated to the point that I have convinced myself that my purpose for being has been fulfilled and anything left in life is just “fluff”.
I pray daily that Jesus will come…soon. I don’t really want to die but I don’t want to continue this perpetual cycle of disappointment and failure. If Jesus were to come, he would take us all to eternal bliss.
I have a solid education and extensive professional experience, yet I have been unemployed now for three months. The only interviews I can […]
I’m bulimic. Yes I use laxatives, enemas, diuretics, I self induce vomiting and I binge on food. So what! I’m so sick and tired of everyone making it in to a big deal saying I don’t need to lose weight that I’m not fat I am they are just trying to keep me fat so they feel better about there below par bodies. Its not my fault they are determined to drop weight. And I’m sick of them trying to “warn me” that it would kill me. If I wanted to live FAT then yea I would stop but no I want to be perfect. I wan to […]