If I truly wanted to kill myself I think I would have done it by now. It has been on my mind for years now, but I just keep lying to myself that things will get better. I am constantly fixing one problem in my life just for another to arise. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I am out of options.
Tag:
lying
I’m mad for basically no reason.
…. Completely furious.
And my utility blades are sorely tempting me, which helps absolutely nothing.
…..
Someone shoot me, please; just put me out of my nonsense and leave the rest of the world to twirl along without me.
God, I was having such a good…
I don’t even know anymore. I’m just sick of this.
I am thoroughly done with all of this utter bullshit and these slam-dunk nothings.
Just
shoot
me.
……………………………………………………………………………..
Oh, I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.
I don’t know what I’m going to do.
I don’t know what I have been doing.
Just please, someone, find me. I feel so lost.
I […]
My fiance (if I can even call him that anymore) has resorted to lying about where he goes. Then I only find out when he gets random texts from people thanking him for stopping by on his way home and he asks me to check his phone for him. Not only that, I don’t like the way he talks to his female coworkers, but he doesn’t find it a problem and has called me “retarded” for being jealous and hurt. I’ve been with him for so long. It’s not a thing that lasted a year or two, or even four. Much longer than that. He […]
It’s hard to want to live when people are filthy, lying hypocrites that might even kill you if they knew they could get something out of it, or get away with it.
It is now November, and I am still here. I’d be lying to say that I am happy. I’d be lying to say things are fine. Nevertheless, things are easier. Things are not as sad. I am able to sleep with less trouble. I can keep my mind off the bad things more easily, without bigger distractions.
Hopefully, things will keep improving. We shall see.
Either way, for now, I’m still here.
I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s all so standard. I’m not giving up, mom. Lying in bed every day, not caring about anyone who never cared about me. I’m not giving up, dad. Sleeping until 5pm, popping the pills they gave me to relax. I’m not giving up. I just don’t know what to do since you’ve left. If you left, what’s keeping me here? I’m not giving up.
It hurts when someone lies to you. It hurts to think that you love the image they give to you when it’s not the real self. It hurts like hell, cause you tried to give yourself to someone in a real way, you open up your soul to them, you give your mind to them, your feelings, your heart, your life. It hurts cause is a constant why, why is he lying to me? , why is he treating me like this and treating her like that ? why is he giving her that and giving me something else ? Is he giving me his […]
I only mean that , when I tell people I am depressed they usually assume that I am lying because it is less likely to hear of African Americans admitting to suffering from depression.
Is it wrong to resent the people who told the law enforcement and children services that I was lying about all the things my mothers boyfriend did to me… Even if they’re family?… I know it’s been yrs since it’s happened but with all my flashbacks I’m still trying to figure things out.. I’m so confused about everything.. I’ve been trying to make since of everything all day and I’m only spinning in circles. Sorry for ranting on…
Hello everyone,
Just found this site and it’s brilliant. No one to talk to but here. I’ve always been pretty emotionally dead in side, not setting out to hurt people or anything just never really felt anything. Met this girl in my late teens and that all changed, I was madly in love and genuinely cared for another human being. Four years and a child who I adore. However then she starts going out drinking with new friends, I didn’t care until I kept catching her lying. One night she goes back with someone else and I kick through the door and the police remove me! She […]
You think I’m fat? Cool. You think I’m a loner ? Fine by me, love the comment. You think I’m ugly? What wait….sorry I was looking for a fuck to give.
It amazes me that people could be so cruel and uncaring towards another person. They whisper and point, my mother always told me pointing was rude as was bullying. It hurts honestly to hear what I already know. I guess the words coming from someone else’s mouth hurts a lot worse. I look in an reflective surface and immediately I feel self conscious.
I hide it. Laugh it off and joke around. It’s not that hard, […]
I’m lying on my bed waiting.
For the suicide and self harm thoughts to stop.
For my tears to stop flowing.
For my pillow to dry up.
The sun is coming up and I’m still awake.
Thinking.
Waiting.
Listening to the birds telling me to sleep.
More waiting.
For the numbness that will greet me soon.
Hopefully.
I just want to be at peace
Even if it means becoming numb and never being able to be happy ever again.
I’m waiting.
I don’t want to feel anymore.
I’m waiting to become numb.
Everyone in their happy-go-lucky lives ran into me today. “OMG x and I are getting married!”, “I am so excited, I’m going to be a mom in 6 weeks!”, “We’re going away to Rarotonga in a few weeks.” Ugh.
Meanwhile I spent an evening lying on my shower floor crying.
It is amazing that the ones who need the most help are the ones who are overlooked or ignored. We are the ones who have mastered the art of lying, stealing, cheating and faking. These arts are not used to rise above our position in society, but they are used just to survive on this earth.
Its funny how those who are ‘successful’ are always caught lying, cheating and stealing. I suppose one could say that if you really wanted to be successful, you should learn those arts from us. But then, that would mean someone would have to pay attention to us. They would have […]
Mirror mirror on the wall
Why are u lying to me ?
That’s not me , that reflection
Why are u only show things that I wanna see
Im ugly Fat And unworthy
And there is nothing that I like about me
My boyfriend said im pretty
But I doubt it cuz he hates me
He hit me when Im sad n gloomy
He yell and cuss , makes me feel unworthy
Family ignored me
Friends walk away from me
All I have is me but
there is nothing that I can like about me anymore
The hatred that I have for myself is infinity
Can’t you see I’m lying
Can’t you see I’m crying
Can’t you see I’m dying
Ask me if I’m okay
I’ll say I’m fine
But when I fall
You’ll see
I was lying
Crying
And Dying
Would you go?
To my funeral I mean
If I got the courage
To kill myself
If I knew you in person
You would meet my parents
And my sister
Though she’s a bit mean
When I die
And they put me 6 feet under
And a grave on top
Of the earth for me
If you visit my grave
Not saying you have to
But if you do
Please don’t bring flowers
Unless they’re fake
I like carnations then
They remind me
Of Valentine’s day
I never got a carnation
But I always gave them
To my friends
Because they never got them either
I also like roses
Red to […]
It’s crazy to think that for 17 years the man I call daddy isn’t even my biological father. You both claim you weren’t trying to hide it or lie to me but honestly I could care less what you say. You did lie. You hid it from me. You hid him from me. The man I call daddy doesn’t have my blood in his veins. It all makes sense though, why the postcards were never signed “Daddy or Dad” but instead with his first and last name. I was little so I never noticed. It shouldn’t have been such a shock, all the clues and […]
So, here is a little introduction to myself.
I’m a teenage girl and I’ve probably suffered from mild depression since I was in the fourth grade; right around the time I moved schools. This has been a constant struggle for me in myself that I’ve mostly struggled through alone. I’ve never really had that support team or someone who I could talk to this about so this has been something I’ve bottled up inside for years. I mean sure, I’ve been I was in and out of the occasional therapy for some time and my family knows about it but it’s never been something I’ve […]
im sorry im leaving
but i dont think you understand
i need to leave this planet
i need to leave
why you might ask
because im hurting people
far too many people
no youre not you may reply
but i am maybe not directly
but indirectly i am hurting them
i worry them and make them panic
i make them concerned about me
ive tried lying i really have
but i cannot lie about this
i must go and leave you
i apologize for that
but i have to go
i need to leave this planet
so no one gets hurt by me anymore
so […]