i have to; i need to

I know how you feel. Sometimes it seems like you’re this unwanted creature getting in the way of everybody’s lives, but a lot of that is the fact that our brains are sick (it sounds awful to say that but it’s true). I hate to use the cliche answer, but it will hurt more people if you choose to leave. People love you, even if you don’t realise it. Family, friends, pets; you would be surprised by the number of people you don’t consider an important part of your life or vice versa that actually are. Added to this, people don’t hate ‘dealing’ with people as much as you might think. Concern and panic for others is a part of every human’s makeup, and even if your problems were minimal you would still inspire worry in those around you. The particular worry that people are feeling for you is centred around the fact that they are afraid you will do something… like a suicide attempt, and as I said before that pain is far worse than anything you could possibly do to them while alive. I know this pain seems unbearable, trust me I really do, and I know that being around people and feeling that you are causing them harm can feel impossible; but please remember that this will pass (it MUST, think of all the survival stories out there!) and that you have to second guess your thoughts while you’re going through this. Much love, I know you can make it!