Tag:

maybe

Dear anyone

by Knightofdoom 12/19/2015

written by Knightofdoom

Is any one awake ? Can’t sleep?

I can’t find a stable feelings, I’m all over the place, I don’t have a desire to do anything I love any more,everything so bleak, I try to express myself maybe to help ease some aniexty,or escape from me… so I’m here constantly trying to think of what to say, to myself ..to you. When I try to reply to your post I’ll sit and try to relate in words, be supportive something to make a connect, but ill either draw a blank or start writing a paragraph and end up deleting anyway…I just can’t accept myself, neither can […]

12/19/2015 31 comments

What An Inspiration…

by Sam 12/17/2015

written by Sam

You were to me. An inspiration. You never would have thought that, would you? You see you can’t ever tell who your life might touch, even though you may not ever even know it. Even now, years after you left me, you still inspire me…maybe just to write this cause I still can’t get you off my mind.

12/17/2015 2 comments

What is wrong with me?

by Ylem 12/15/2015

written by Ylem

It hurts. It really does.
It’s becoming harder and harder to stick to the plan. But I know I have to. I also know that I need help. I need some attention. I need them to realise that I’m suffering.
I can’t fake it anymore. I can’t hide what I’m feeling anymore. I need someone to notice.
I’m not good at talking and letting out what I feel. I just freeze whenever I have to divulge my feelings.
It fucking hurts. They just will never understand.
I know what I’ve been thinking is wrong. I’m contemplating an attempt in the next few days, or tonight […]

12/15/2015 2 comments

Deadline

by Salesman 12/15/2015

written by Salesman

Last day to get obamacare. I’m uninsured right now and not sure if I should get it. I want to get diagnosed and maybe treated but it costs me 395 a month. I think my family’s financial welfare is more important than my mental welfare. What do you guys think? Thats a lot of money a month. Might cost me less just to pay the doctor cash.

12/15/2015 3 comments

Today.

by Allitends 12/15/2015

written by Allitends

Im surfing at internet (sure) looking for any kind of help, but i’m not sure why.. maybe i want help but to tell the truth, i think it’s more about killing time because i really dont believe that i can get helped, theres no words or medication that can change who iam or worse what ive lost.

Cheers

12/15/2015 5 comments

Nobody in the middle of nowhere

by babypanda 12/14/2015

written by babypanda

Son of a *****. I’m at it again, having a breakdown where no one will find me. I’m so tired, so tired (SO GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING TIRED), of not being happy. I want to be able to be content with myself. I never tell anyone I know of these breakdowns and how severe they can get because I don’t want them to think less of me. But I’m exhausted from keeping it in. I just want a hug, a soul crushing, tear gushing hug. I want to feel loved wholly, for my depression and everything else. I don’t want to hide, bu t I shall continue to […]

12/14/2015 1 comment

I realized….

by Azure11 12/14/2015

written by Azure11

I realized that I’m not living because I want to,or because I have hope that maybe tomorrow or a few days from now will be better….I’m only living because if I did kill myself it would make others lives worse,even though those lives I would be making worse by dieing are the same people who are making my life a living hell. I’m not here because I have hope or because I have a will to live….I’m just empty,but for some reason I still have to be here.

12/14/2015 0 comment

Missing You Again

by Sam 12/13/2015

written by Sam

It’s a beautiful December day, nearly two and a half years since you left me. And here I am, missing you again. I wonder what we might be doing this day, if you were still here. Maybe we would be in the driveway, or at the shop doing a charity job. Or maybe we would be inside, tangled up on the couch watching an old western. Or maybe we would be sitting at the kitchen table having a beer while you picked your guitar. I miss your music so much! I still think of you all the time […]

12/13/2015 2 comments

by nicole123 12/12/2015

written by nicole123

Today was really hard . I had to get through work without breaking down . But I think my sadness turned into anger today . I work at a smoothie bar/wrap place and I was trying to make a wrap and the tortilla kept breaking and so I threw it at the wall. I was so fustrated . And it was so busy. I hate serving people . Everyone is always in a hurry. I can’t wait to finish my dental assisting class so I can get a real job.

I wish life wasn’t so hard for me . I wish I had it easier . […]

12/12/2015 1 comment

Emotionally all over the place

by evildandelions 12/11/2015

written by evildandelions

I feel weird.

Still grieving the loss of my fiance. Still feeling the anxiety and physical pain that comes with it. Still having moments where I feel like I can’t breathe because I think about her and how everything we had is gone. I alternate between feeling incredibly sad and angry. I miss her so much, she’s my best friend, but then I’m angry too, feeling so betrayed that she could even do this.

Then there’s the TMS. I only just started the treatments this week and everything I’ve read about it says that results aren’t seen until about three weeks in. And yet I feel different. It […]

12/11/2015 2 comments

I’m not dead, if anybody cares.

by thelost 12/11/2015

written by thelost

It’s Hard

It’s hard, nearly impossible, to describe the way one feels when they are with her. It cannot be grasped from a single emotion or moment in time, but comes from knowing her. How when you talk to her, you can be honest, but you cannot be ignorant. Or the little jokes and common things that always seem to be there. A humor with the occasional sadistic twist. Difficulty to make her smile, even in the best of times. Her insistence on making everyone wear a seatbelt in her car, no matter what the distance may be. Something that isn’t quite being cold, but isn’t […]

12/11/2015 2 comments

because love is insanity…

by alexia 12/10/2015

written by alexia

you are you and i am me.we could be us…it would be..how can i put this..brilliant would be an understatement.i lose myself in your details and i lose myself more when u tell me that “i love you is because i don t love you yet” . i ask you again..can you see yourself? can u observe yourself like i do? i don t know you…i mean come on…i don t know you but it s enough to hear you…to listen to how you laugh and speak..and to imagine the expression of your face..and i already know i like you. and jesus…i so like you.i […]

12/10/2015 0 comment

Time to Make a Decision

by stupid daikini 12/9/2015

written by stupid daikini

I lost my job of almost twenty years today. I don’t have a degree, any skills, a really low IQ, and health problems. I made a pact with myself a long time ago that if this happened, it would be the last straw. I would need to stop being a baby and take my own life. People have been reaching out to me lately, but good people never consider maybe this person had plenty of chances and fucked them all up. Maybe it’s time to admit that I’m a mistake and stop burdening the world. Those people will get over it if I go. They’ll […]

12/9/2015 4 comments

It’s so simple.

by babypanda 12/9/2015

written by babypanda

So simple. SO FUCKING SIMPLE.

all it takes is one misstep

or maybe a slight jerk of my hand on the steering wheel

perhaps a quick lead foot

could I slip into neutral and into the lake?

It’s just all so simple. Right there in front of me, a token accidental death with sinister roots. And yet I sit here, with my car turned off, writing this instead, talking myself off the ledge once more.

I’m so passively suicidal sometimes it scares me. I don’t want to die, but I also really, really want to. Oh well.

12/9/2015 8 comments

BPD

by AfflictedSmile 12/8/2015

written by AfflictedSmile

So I’ve known for many years that something is fundamentally wrong with me. For the longest time I felt like it was just major depression. I thought maybe it just stemmed from my childhood, and the abuse I went through growing up. I also felt like it could be hormone imbalance as I have an under active thyroid and have to take steroids and hormones to make up for the lack there of. So I thought, maybe it has something to do with one or both. However I have sought help, and after about 6 months of feeling more like a number and less like […]

12/8/2015 4 comments

Feels good

by notsureifreadytogo 12/8/2015

written by notsureifreadytogo

Finished my will. It was really easy. I actually feel ok. Have a few letters to write, and a long train ride to the city to procure some things. Then to leave a clean house, check into a cheap motel, watch some family guy maybe, and write something time delay text messages. I’m actually so relieved. The nightmare is almost over. Thanx SP. People in this situation need a judgment free zone like this. Such a simple thing. Makes such a big difference.

12/8/2015 9 comments

Insignificant

by insignificant02 12/7/2015

written by insignificant02

I always knew I never mattered. So what’s happening now shouldn’t be a surprise.

I had to get away from home. I couldn’t run away and it wasn’t the time to commit suicide just yet.

I hid in the cupboard. Its nearing my 6th hour in here and no one realised I was gone. They sat at the table for dinner without me and chatted and laughed, never noticing my absence. I guess it doesn’t matter.

My father (biological) told me today that he got married. Since last Friday. I didn’t even know he was engaged. I guess I didn’t matter enough for him to tell me.

Maybe he […]

12/7/2015 6 comments

Let Go.

by insignificant02 12/6/2015

written by insignificant02

Its what I want to do. I feel like its what I have to do and what I need to do. But, is it what I should do?

I feel trapped.

I just want to let go.

Maybe it would be best if I didn’t.

I am trapped.

12/6/2015 1 comment

Insert Witty Relevant Title Here

by ZenandtheArtofNothing 12/6/2015

written by ZenandtheArtofNothing

You know… It’s so tragic it’s almost funny. At times I feel like I have everything figured out, all my I’s dotted, all my T’s crossed. And in the end. I really don’t have shit. I have nothing. Zip, Zero FUCKING ZILCH. When it comes right down to it, I am a goddamn fucking wreck. Emotionally, Mentally, and Physically, all round I am Fucked. Fucked. Fucked. Fucked. Fucked. Fucked. I’m so Fucked that I really don’t even know how fucked I am. I keep thinking, keep telling myself “oh just take one more step, one more breath, have just a tad, a smidge more compassion […]

12/6/2015 10 comments

Everything I’ve Ever Written

by thelost 12/6/2015

written by thelost

Things

I have done terrible things

Things to make you shiver in the dark

Things that make even my own skin crawl

I want them back, to take them away

I hurt others, so badly I cry

It wasn’t me! I scream

It was them! I can’t help it!

Please, you have to believe me

The things that lie in wait

To rip me apart

To make me rend and tear

As they watch

It’s the demons that lurk beneath the skin

The ones only freed by razors

Death is to begin again

Right?

They beg me to stay

I beg them to let me leave

I don’t want to hurt you anymore

I don’t want to make you bleed

No you must stay

You must endure

You […]

12/6/2015 1 comment

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