Tag:

maybe

Doing it

by Undead101 5/28/2014

written by Undead101

Somedays I just feel like finally doing it. Just swallowing that bottle of pills on my nightstand or climbing onto my room and diving head first into my concrete driveway, maybe taking a kitchen knife a locking myself in my bedroom ..sliding it vertically down my wrist. My life is an endless circle of nothingness.

Wake up, get dressed, brush teeth, grab backpack, jog to bus stop, go to my seat, arrive at school, go to homeroom, go to 1st period, go to 2nd period, go to lunch, go to 3rd period, go to 4th period, get on bus, walk home, eat, do homework, get online, […]

5/28/2014 3 comments

Somewhere Secret

by sleep slaker 5/27/2014

written by sleep slaker

I had a panic attack today I never experienced anxiety till this month. It’s been atleast one eveeday now. It really started with a subtle paranoia the small thought that maybe ill fail maybe my friends are lying to me. Now it’s become completely out of hand. I’m encased in lies and dangerous things and I’m afraid to make a move because I’ll fail I know I will. And all the while the spiders that spin their webbed lies that I used to call friends race on without me. I can’t blame them I never let them see my panic […]

5/27/2014 1 comment

I’m not going to make it, dude…

by Bisban 5/27/2014

written by Bisban

I need to get out of here. Can I come over, hang out, be friends, maybe share rent, and never come back again? Somewhere in the western half of the U.S maybe. Please let me know.

5/27/2014 0 comment

Why does it still hurt?

by alina_01 5/26/2014

written by alina_01

Life is messed up that has been pretty obvious to me, yet I still find myself hurt about it. I don’t know why I hope why I even care? I’m slowly shutting down, I care less and less about any and everything.This year has been the worst of my life thus far, I’ve lost so much and there is this aching pain inside. I lost family and friends and a significant other all in a matter of months back to back. There is literally nothing left in me not a damn thing I wouldn’t care if my own family died if what little friends I […]

5/26/2014 8 comments

Is Love Possible…

by livinginsidemyhead 5/26/2014

written by livinginsidemyhead

Is love possible between two people who suffer from depression and have had a suicidal past? Can those two people function normally and healthily in a relationship? I wonder.

I think I subconsciously seek out guys who fit into this insane mold that I have constructed unknowingly my entire adult life. I think I look for people who are as insane as I am before I continue further on in a relationship. Is that in and of itself insane? Maybe it’s because I feel that is the only way I’ll be accepted? Because I can’t fathom anyone loving me the way I am. It’s pathetic to […]

5/26/2014 2 comments

Whats next?

by lbf2 5/26/2014

written by lbf2

At this point I honestly don’t know what to do.. Stuck on stupid over this boy that doesn’t care one bit about me & pretty much used me for sex.. maybe if I’m gone he’ll realize I actually ment something to him.. I just wish he cared like he used to……… ):

5/26/2014 2 comments

Walls

by PurebredMutt 5/25/2014

written by PurebredMutt

I’m just thinking and looking for other thoughts on something. The “something” is a quote: “Sometimes you put up walls not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.” What comes to mind when I read this and mulled it over a bit … typical nonsense Hallmark-esque crap. Maybe it’s just me, though, which is why I hope to hear some different perspectives. It seems childish to “put up walls” just for the sake of finding out who gives a shit, much like “playing hard to get” in dealing with a potential romantic interest. If I’m putting up walls, […]

5/25/2014 2 comments

is this all there is?

by serenity21 5/24/2014

written by serenity21

Now at 23, this summer will mark a full decade of long standing depression, at least from the clinical diagnosis. I can’t remember my emotions any younger than that, since my upbringing was filled with abuse and solitude. I find myself wondering, is this it? Year after year I find myself surprised at how time passes and the fact that I’ve managed to unhappily Â live through another year. And it scares me. Will I just be floating on through life like this until I’m forty, fifty, sixty?

Though I’ve only been in treatment (meds, psychologists, hospitals) Â for five years, I don’t know what more I can […]

5/24/2014 2 comments

One Look Away

by lifeisfullofgifts 5/22/2014

written by lifeisfullofgifts

Why is that stabbing myself seems like a beautiful way out of my misery?
More beautiful than friends, more beautiful than family.
The knife is right there, on the kitchen table, next to my cup of tea.
Tea. Or knife?
A simple stab is all it would take. Maybe two for good measure.
But for now I pick up the tea. I’m too cowardly to do otherwise.

5/22/2014 0 comment

How I feel almost daily (don’t want to offend)

by notdeadyet 5/21/2014

written by notdeadyet

All of this stuff that they say I have to look forward to, this amazing life that they say I’ll have. But the way I feel will never change. It’s bullshit, I’ll always be fat and vile. No one will want me. I’ll never be happy and smiling at festivals surrounded by people who want the best for me. I’ll always be in my room depressed and waiting for it all to change – to end. Curtains closed, hidden under the covers. It’s never going to happen. So what is the point. For someone who craves death so much yes I’ll admit I am scared. […]

5/21/2014 1 comment

Kinda just want to die..

by stranger_to_the_unknown 5/21/2014

written by stranger_to_the_unknown

I’m so tired, and just kind of want to die. I just feel so sad. I was thinking about just popping about 100 ibuprofen, and then maybe slitting my wrists over and over and over again. Maybe I will? Maybe I won’t?
I’m not entirely sure what I’m going to do anymore.
I don’t want my girlfriend to be my girlfriend anymore.
I don’t want my friends to be my friends anymore.
I do NOT want my parents to be my parents anymore.
They accuse me of self harming, although all I have is scars.
They tell me they want me to, go to some […]

5/21/2014 3 comments

Dear Fate,

by Remnant The Unbroken 5/20/2014

written by Remnant The Unbroken

Or God, maybe you’re the same thing…

Anyway,

Why do you do this to me? The lonely nights where you wish someone was there just to sit next to you and chat in the late hours of the night about nothing in particular. Just to get your mind off of what you want most – eternal sleep.

I have so much love to give and lately it’s been given in the wrong places. Maybe I’ve just come to accept it. That it’s going to be a part of my twisted life. But there’s something about this…like perhaps we were meant to be one day. I don’t know. I […]

5/20/2014 0 comment

mentally tired

by mr.wolf 5/20/2014

written by mr.wolf

i am so tired of having to fake a smile so that other people can accept me, i am so tired of having to pretend that i am tired instead of telling people the truth that i cant handle my life. i am “happier when am sleeping than when i am awake. my dreams keep me going knowing that one day i will jump off from that building. i am tired of getting rejected because i love too easily, now i am afraid to say i love in fear that i will lose someone, i only have one close friend and now like always i […]

5/20/2014 6 comments

First Day…

by SuicidalProcess 5/19/2014

written by SuicidalProcess

… registeredÂ here. So far hasn’t been so bad other than that cluster fuck that caused me to register in the first place. See, we can all be kind to each other when we want to. Maybe, maybe it’s just my inability to get pissed off anymore that I wonder why others get so mad over silly things so easily. But I do appreciate the hospitality youÂ allÂ haveÂ shown me since I announced my pressence hereÂ on SP. Good Vibrations to you all, and may you be able to wade through the shit in your lives andÂ travel the extreme dissonanceÂ you need to trek through to have a better life. […]

5/19/2014 0 comment

psychopath

by sunflower 5/17/2014

written by sunflower

my brother… he needs help. He attacked me and i accidentally cut him with a plate that i was holding in my hand. im scared and shaking and really hurt how he could do that to me. now he is justifying himself to my mom. “defending himself”… thats not how it happened he knows that or maybe he really is crazy. i need to leave this house for a breather

5/17/2014 1 comment

someone always has it worse apparently

by sophie 5/17/2014

written by sophie

but i guess it makes my problems less important

every few days i find the idea of a drug addict life more and more attractive
maybe the short lived thrill seems better than no thrill at all

i want to be in partial control. experience “happiness” and do it over again

then when i get tired of it, do my big finale

sounds stupid but thats what i want. i gave up on wanting the better things. odds are slim and get slimmer every day
i cant explain it. i dont want anything. i want to die

5/17/2014 3 comments

Love won’t save you

by Stain 5/14/2014

written by Stain

It just won’t. A devoted partner, a caring parent, a sympathetic friend or hell even the purest love of all, the love of a dog, won’t save you.

Suicide, or at least the suicide I know, is like drowning in the ocean. Love is like someone on the shore praying for you. It may give you a moment’s satisfaction to know that someone is worrying about you, but in the end the only thing that can save you is if something physically drags you out of the ocean.

Love doesn’t do that. Love can soothe you, distract you, make you feel like you have a purpose, maybe […]

5/14/2014 2 comments

Yes I want to die

by Scarface 5/14/2014

written by Scarface

Hello everyone I know you are all battling your own wars..here nobody aint got time for me to listen to me or counsel me for my suicidal thoughts are just increasing manifolds……i seriously aint in the humour to write I am 18,India and right now I’m high and i got the rope ready I just wanted everyone to know that yes i was defeated everywhere its not because of u krati u were my first love and i want to die with her being my last its all coz of me myself i cant survive i aint strong enough i am not the one maybe […]

5/14/2014 4 comments

I do not fear death.

by dropdeadlizzie 5/13/2014

written by dropdeadlizzie

I guess, since this is my first post on here, I should tell you all my story.

at age 9 I was oblivious. I was overweight, friendless, but still happy.

at age 10 I started to worry. I was fat as hell, still friendless, but just slightly less than happy.

at age 11 I knew I was a goner. still fat and friendless and I didn’t know what to do about it. I wasn’t happy anymore.

at age 12 I had my first ED thought. I had one friend, and she was my goal. 80 pounds and beautiful. I thought that maybe, just maybe, by losing weight my everlasting […]

5/13/2014 3 comments

I need a hug…

by Undead101 5/13/2014

written by Undead101

We have ‘friends’ but we’re all alone. Look next to you. What is there? An animal? A stuffed toy? A jornal? A living being? No. Log into your ‘Facebook’ or another social media. You have friends, followers, and others. They say “We’ll catch you if you fall!” but will they? Are they real? We are all alone. Just accept it. We have friends they are not real. They only use you. If you have a true friend make them prove it. Make them prove that it’s not just you. Say your having a bad day. All of the pressure of you wanting to end your […]

5/13/2014 9 comments

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