Hey says my friend kelsie as she slides into the booth with the rest of us. hey we reply. ok says amber time to start! (in case your wondering this is my group my friends my club. every saturday we get together at this ice cream place and talk about whatever. it normally ends up with us gossiping about people, and yesterday the topic changed to to something quite interesting…) okay so guess what i learned about maredith welsh said cassy (the leader,somehow dont ask me how probably a miracle, i am friends with what society calls “the populars” they know EVERYTHING about everything at […]
Tag:
Miracle
I wondered how far back I would have to go to make a miracle change in the timeline of my life. This is no idle thought, it is one I’ve considered for many long years and the reality is there is only one place for me to go back to and that is the womb. Not to come out and relive with the hope of it being different. No, I would need to move backward into the womb, wrap the cord around my neck and die before I ever lived. Backward would be the only way to stop my life that has not been […]
I’m sitting outside the hotel.
I don’t want to go in there.
It’s only a class reunion,
But what if they stare?
Twenty-five years ago,
Did they really even know me?
Will they remember the pain they caused?
Did they even see?
I tried not to let it show.
I had to stay strong,
But with their mean words and actions,
I was almost gone.
It’s a miracle I’m still here.
It’s a miracle I was found.
Hanging by a thread,
Close to six feet underground.
I haven’t seen anyone in forever.
Last they knew I was in rehab.
Doctors wouldn’t let me go back.
A better life, they wanted me to have.
So I couldn’t be around them.
Not anymore.
They didn’t know when I left
That […]
I finally wrote my suicide letter. It doesn’t say much. I don’t have that much to say, and even if I did no one would care. People don’t see me, people don’t know me. I don’t care anymore, I mostly feel sadness.
Just hoping for a miracle that would stop me from feeling like this.
As the title states, this is my first post. I don’t even know what  to say except that life feels meaningless.
If I wasn’t such a chicken shit I’d probably have offed myself back in college, but I’ve always been too scared to do it.
My depression started like a spiderweb crack– at first, it was isolated, but now it has spread and I feel like I bring misery to everyone who loves me. I lose everyone who gets close to me because they meet me and I seem so great and bubbly and fun to be with, and then they slowly have to watch me sink […]
That’s my biggest problem. I’ve made up my mind a long time ago that this is what i wanted but i still have no idea how i could end my life without too much physical pain. Physical pain is what keeps me away from suicide but i can only hope that it’s a matter of time before i find the miracle suicide method. My biggest fear is living for many more years in shame and regret because of my fear for physical pain. But sometimes i tell myself that the pain i feel inside is probably greater than any pain any suicide method would involve.There’s […]
you know its intresting.I start to think more about what if i do succede what my death will mean if it actually happens.and a little bit o topic okay ive heard a lot of people saying barbiturates are the only medication that will kill you not you.Ive overdosed a lot in the past when im not cutting or burning or drinking nasal spray.I almost died from the use of sleeping pills and lithium which i was taken off of right after.Now i find there are different types of suicide.Some people i wouldnt consider suicidal cause there just bored with life its not really emotion.Some people […]
I had an abusive older brother that lived with me through the ages 8-12. Things he did to me.. only one that scars me for the rest of my life. He slit my arms tied me up and put me in a box for a week. They said it was a miracle that the odds of me making it were in the negatives. I hated him ever since then. He died recently. The only thing mentioned in his last words was how much he regrets all he did to me and wished I could forgive him.. I think I’m done with life I feel horrible […]
I don’t want to die, but…
There are times, last night for example, when it’s all I can do to hang on to whatever I can to keep from doing something I can never take back. Those nights where the blackness has swirled up around me to grasp at my throat and just choke the life out of me.
It’s a difficult thing to explain, but I’ll do my best. Here’s how I’ve described it to my therapists.
It’s like there are two people inside of me. There’s me, and then there’s the dark me. We’ll call the ‘me’ that’s okay #1 and the dark me #2. #1 […]
Hi. First off, something I want to say is that no matter how bleak things may look, you are strong, and you can make it through this. <3
My story starts about 5 years ago. all through elementary school I was always the most outgoing and fun-loving girl in our little town. I was never without a friend to play with. That all changed the day of my 11th birthday party. It was the most fun party I had ever had. I was so happy because my dad picked me and my friend up in a semi-truck to bring us home. we got there, and there […]
I should start off by saying I may not be someone anyone should look to for guidance or good advice. I am a survivor of a serious suicide attempt and many days are still a struggle for me.
I haven’t read through the site enough to determine if it’s a place where most of the posters are dealing with suicidal thoughts and mental health issues or if there is a large percentage of people who are in a good place mentally and are offering up advice. It seems to be a combination of both, with the earlier making up for most of the content.
Nonetheless, […]
Who am I kidding?? I’ll never be OK
I am the Slave of Depression. This must be the main thing that made me this way
Anyway I’ve  always had a dose of craziness in me…Why can’t I be happy?Everyone around me knows how sad and unhappy I am but they don’t give a damn.They even make things worse
I need a miracle! I don’t wanna be like this anymore
I’ve had a couple of moments in  my life, one was just a couple of minutes ago. The ceiling in my bathroom was falling (my house is going under construction) and I didn’t move, I just stood there and watched as everything came crumbling down. A part of me was hoping the whole thing would come down on top of me, so at least I wouldn’t have to do it. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened, one time I was swimming and just for a second I thought I could stop swimming and everyone would just think it was just this […]
My friend sent me a text saying that she was sick of life. I fell into instant panic. I talked to her for an hour and somehow managed to get her to put down the knife. This has been the scariest moment of my life. People suck. They forced this girl to contemplate suicide at such a young age. I find it miraculous that she is still here. Please. If you have in the past. Don’t be mean to other people. Don’t harass people. Don’ treat others badly if you wouldn’t treat yourself badly.
Does such a thing exist?
I heave a sigh, looking out of the panes of my window. It’s raining today. It doesn’t usually rain here in Southern California but I like the change of pace. It reminds me of the song “I’m only happy when it rains….”
Each drop tears down my cheek. Why do I bother. Why do I create this sense of hope? Why does it tag me along so painfully. I’m just going to be thrown in the mud again.
I hate the word why. I say it too frequently. I never get an answer.
I see her. In my mind, its sunny, ooh and its […]
life
Is it really worth it?
To have no hope for tomorrow
To believe in nothing
To have lost faith in god and man alike
To wish, nay beg for death just to end the suffering
That you never asked for to begin with
They say be grateful you’re alive
It’s a miracle they proclaim
That you lived through being electrocuted
And stabbed
And hung
And cut
And poisoned
And starved.
You should be thankful you’re alive!
They don’t realize that
volts cook muscle
Stabs leave scars
Rope leaves burns
Cuts leave marks
Poison leaves damage
And starvation kills the stomach
They don’t get that living through […]
What does it me to when something so very improbable actually happens? Does it mean that it’s a sign? Does it mean it’s a miracle?
Last October I encountered what I interpreted to be signs. The last of the three was encountering a woman that so adamantly disagreed with what I was doing that she found it within herself to grab my hand and stop me from doing it. What was I doing you might ask…I was fiddling with my finger nails.
What is the probability of that happening…
number of people that don’t like fiddling with finger nails divided by number of people in the world multiplied […]
I am just so sick of it all. I am in so much debt from college that I do not even know what to do. Unless I can pull a miracle I will have debt collectors hounding me. I really see no light at the end of the tunnel.
And I’ve lost, I took a gamble and tried getting my campus involved for the first time in the university elections. However personally I have won! I’ve spoke to 1000’s of people, taking the time to explain what a students union is and connected with people that have been unrepresented, neglected and forgotten for too long. The guy that won was a unknown, I am so glad that someone new to the Union won it!
Today as I write this I am going fail my dissertation, 40 credits wasted, and without a miracle 4 years of university wasted. Its not all been bad, at least I’ve […]
Please for now refer to me as Inspire, I don’t share the same pain as many of those who come on here, I have a pain that no matter what it never goes away.
I currently live with my aunt since both my parents died in a car accident when I was very little, I was in that car accident and nearly died with them. Back then I didn’t know what to think and now I’m glad to be alive. I don’t have the funnest of lives I live with my aunt who has an odd hate for me. I currently am trying to stay in […]