I’m not sure how this works but I feel like venting. I’m 25 years old. People say I’m pretty but most of the time I can’t stand who I see in the mirror. I’ve been reading posts on this website over the last few days and I was surprised to see my thoughts and feelings expressed so accurately by random people all over. You know when people say oh everyone’s felt like  that, like that’s suppose to help but this actually is kind of comforting. Anyway back to venting. I had a car accident this mornin and physically I’m fine but in every other way I’m […]
Tag:
Mirror
My chemical romance, just thought it was worth posting..
Famous Last Words lyrics
Songwriters:Â Iero, Frank; Pellisier, Matt; Toro, Raymond; Way, Gerard; Way, Mikey;
Now I know that I can’t make you stay
But where’s your heart?
But where’s your heart?
But where’s your?
And I know there’s nothing I could say
To change that part
To change that part
To change
So many bright lights to cast a shadow, but can I speak?
Well, is it hard understanding I’m incomplete?
A life that’s so demanding, I get so weak
A love that’s so demanding, I can’t speak
I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to […]
I’m no longer daddy’s little girl. The princess of his castle. There is no wonder left, no stories of wonderful lands and castles in far away places. Just the terrifying nightmares that haunt me in my sleep. The ones of innocence taken away, the ones of betrayal. Daddy stars in my nightmare and this time he brought friends. Because I have no hope of being successful there’s only one thing I’m good for now.
I stand lost in my nightmare with pain and sadness. I see myself shatter time and time again. And then suddenly I’ve had enough i can take no more pain. I don’t want to feel anymore so I […]
So many mistakes here, so nobody listens, The pact that I make now, Still something is missing, I’ve got nobody here but me….
by Nat....
written by Nat....
That title is ironic, I am alone.. For now.
So, feeling a bit better than I did last night, Finally got through to the person I wanted/needed to talk to. Maybe things can be okay… For now.
I got a letter from CAMH which is who are doing my mental health assessment, I have this like, thing (i’ve forgotten what it’s called) to fill out, basically just about me.. Nothing mental yet though. I went to the beach today, With my family. And we took our dog who loved it, bless her. She’s so tired now XD just like me I guess… But no sleep. Not yet. […]
I’m so fuckin sick and tired of doing this. Day in day out I just float through my day, half awake half asleep, just waiting to die. Every morning I wake up dissapointed to find I’m still breathing, just the thought of getting out of my bed and looking in thr mirror scares the shit out of me. I am a coward . If I wasn’t then I would have finished the job quite some time ago instead of just lingering aimlessly through a pointless existence. I don’t want tp be here anymore, I have grown so bitter […]
Everyone says love yourself but I can’t. I hate myself. I look in the mirror and I see ugly and horrible. I made a lot of mistakes in my life, but that one night went too far. I lost the person I really like and my friend you talked me into it but when i did it you got mad you knew i was drugged . I hate myself. It shouldn’t have happened. But it did. Now i look in the mirror and I see skin and bones and slashes through out my body. I hate myself. Everyone is right, I shouldn’t be here. I’m […]
If so, I’d like to know what it is. Life doesn’t seem worth it anymore. I came here out of desperation. I have nobody to share my feelings with. I am alone. I’m afraid to be close to people because they always hurt me in the end. Or maybe I’m alone because people generally do not want to be around me. “Freak,” they’ll call me, telling me how I am not worth their time. “Tell me, why haven’t you had a boyfriend? Are you lesbian?” They’ll ask me. Outraged, I deny, but they don’t believe me. It isn’t my fault nobody wants me. It isn’t […]
Do you know what its like to look in the mirror and hate what you see? Do you know what its like to live your whole life the laughing stock of society? Do you know what its like to go through life hating yourself, but knowing that you can’t do anything to change yourself? Have you ever been about to take your own life, all because of the way you look? Do you have that red scar on your left arm because you know that you’ll end up cold and alone? Do you know what its like to plan your own death, just because you’re […]
i hate myself, my body. everything. people always tell me to gain weight, or i look disgusting. im 5’7″ and 100 pounds. i look in the mirror and see nothing but chubbiness. im a big box of chubcicles< well that atleast made me laugh haha, i think that’s what makes it worse i’ll laugh it off today then tomorrow i’ll hate myself again for it. i reallly need to learn how to deal with things): ijustt dont know how.
                                                                   Nothing
                                               I rip my heart open to see who i am
                                                    a void of darkness engulfs me
                                                             i see nothing
                                                             i feel nothing
                                                             i am nothing
                                             i stare at the mirror with the deepest regret
                               i should of done something about it but now im nothing
                                               i cry and cry until i have a thorght
                                                        i dont belong here
                                                              i dont exist
                                                  at the corner of my eye i see
                              a sharped edged blade glimmering in the moon light
                                 i pick it up and take a last look at myself before
                                                            i slice my wrist
I have hated myself since I can remember. I always thought I was worthless. I remember looking at myself in the mirror when I was 5 and thinking ‘I hope my face changes and looks better when I grow up’. I’ve never fit in with anyone and I cry a lot. I feel like my body is a prison and I would do anything to be free. Suicidal thoughts take control of my life when I am on a low. I can’t get rid of them. I’ve had these thoughts since I was 10 years old. I battle myself constantly and it’s exhausting. Only my […]
underage high schooler living with  a clinically depress/paranoid mom.
everynight around 11pm-8am my mom would have these urges to freak out/cry/yell. the things I hear is that everyone treated her like crap. she would look in the mirror and yell at herself how she gotten so ugly as a person. the “freak outs” have been going on for a year. it’s getting financially and emotionalbad worst. let’s say, if tmrw I loose everything I own I won’t be surprise. I’ve been clinically depress since the 7th/8th grade. so far I’ve attempted suicide twice. ended up in the hospital and depression center both times. seriously I think […]
I keep lying to myself saying everything is okay, but in reality I know it’s not. I cannot go through the day wondering if I will be better off dead. I keep loosing my friends over stupid stuff. I cannot trust a single soul. I keep breaking out even worse because I am so stressed out on life. I wish life could be over as simple as just pressing a button. But, it’s not. I really have no friends I can speak to about my life and why I am so depressed all the time. All I have is Tumblr. I just need someone […]
A mind that asks many questions
A mind mind that realizes there will never be any answers
A pair of eyes that cry in the wrong direction
A red heart longing for affection
I know the truth
And I want my heart to stop beating
For love in another means nothing if your own is slowly depleting
I’ve hated my life and the people who had to be in it
The horrible ones
And my useless mind and it’s emotions
No I’ve done my meditation
And like a band aid it covers over the wound temporarily
And I’ve been in counselling
And few understand I’m rare you see
And […]
things are so messed up.. when you post something to try and help people and only get negative comments and then you just want to take it down.. so you do..
things are so messed up.. when you meet someone and they lead you on and they flirt and they say they only want to be with you.. then they tell you they have a girlfriend and wont talk to you again..
things are so messed up.. when your only way of coping is through cutting and pain.
i fake a smile every single day, and the moment where it slips, and  im questioned, i panic and say […]
Tonight I sat in the mirror and told myself how worthless I was how nobody has never and will never love me, Something inside said to end it, I had a bottle or alcohol and a bottle of pills i picked them both up popped a pill in my mouth and thought for a second why do I have to feel like this why do I have to want to take my own life ? Because nobody understands ? Because the nights are sleepless ? because im alone ! Nobody cares i kept saying nobody ever dd just end it ***** , your […]
In 8th grade, I was 13, I was 5’5″, and I was 125lbs. I was teased for eating too much and being overweight, when in reality I knew I wasn’t. I knew at the beginning anyway. I’d been bullied my entire life, and I could shake this off easily.
For a while.
My eyes were convinced first. When I looked in the mirror, I saw a fat girl. An ugly girl. When I looked down at my stomach, I always sucked it in for about an hour afterwords.
My mind followed suit. I thought I was fat. I looked at every meal I ate and started trying to leave some every […]
I am dying inside in a sort or agony/hell/torture that is literally unimaginable! I have the perfect opportunity right now to end it! I won’t have this opportunity again for several days! I could be setting up the equipment right now as we speak and be gone within a hour. BUT NOOOO, I don’t have the fucking balls enough to go thru with it! I’m too afraid of the pain which I know will be over within 5-20 mins. The pain I have been feeling for the last 12 years by far out weighs the pain of hanging myself. I KNOW THIS! BUT I STILL […]
Nobody understands why cutting is an addiction. Nobody understands why when I’m angry or sad, my first thought it to bleed, my next is to feed my drug addiction. Nobody understands that I’d be able to quit drugs easier than I would be able to quit cutting. I wrote this last night in hopes of trying to eliminate the confusion. I hope this poem is acknowledged.
Have you ever been hurt?
But I don’t mean for real.
I mean the kind that can’t be seen,
the kind only you can feel.
You keep it to yourself
the feelings you’ve come to accept.
But still, every time […]
I just don’t know what to say anymore, or what to think. I can’t get off from my head all the thoughts, the flashes keep coming as if there’s nothing more. Why, i tell myself, but no answer is found. And now I’m not sure if I want one. but it’s the guilt inside my head, and my hole body.
Is just another day, another hour, minute, and breath, but I can’t breathe anymore; the air is not getting inside of me. As I close my eyes every memorie is haunting me, I want to forget. I want to be able to look at me […]