I sometimes miss what could have been- some people wont get that and wonder how I could miss something I’ve never experienced first hand, but I guess you don’t really need to understand it. My life is too full of what ifs, maybes, and day dreams of what I want myself and my life to be like. I think I stopped trying to live “here” a long time ago, I live in my head now because facing what is right in front of me is too painful. I cringe at the thought of acknowledging  my life, both past and present. Yet I am obsessed with […]
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miss
Its nights like these that I really fucking miss what we had. Holy shit we clicked like I never had with anyone else. I miss laying bed with you watching anime or some other lame ass shit on your lap top. Then making trips at 1 am to the store and picking up $40 worth of junk food. I wonder if you give a shit all the time. That maybe if I gave you a call or a text maybe we could try again. I know that will never happen, but it feels good thinking about it. Sometimes I wish I didnt have these memories […]
When I’m gone from Pitch Perfect“When I’m gone, when I’m gone. Your gonna miss me when I’m gone”
Or at least I hope you will. I hope that once I’m gone you see the good thing we shared.
I thought you would be the one who actually cared
But I guess not
There is a feeling in my chest of emptiness
Did you cause it? No..no you did not.
It is all my fault..Everything is my fault
I am always to blame..I am sorry
I am sorry I cry, I’m sorry I cut
I’m sorry I even lie..yet I have to
I have to hide how […]
i just want to go.
people wont miss me.
the one person i thought
that would miss me
well i just discovered that
in the end they wont miss me
theyll move on
i just want to leave
im numb but in
so much pain
all at the same time
its weird because
i cant feel happiness
i dont remember
how to be happy
what it feels like to
be happy
all i know how to
feel is sad, pained,
and lonely
oh and ignored.
i guess i was right
this world is better off
without me.
isn’t it?
yes it is.
I’m trying really hard to be strong, but it’s really difficult and I’m having a really hard time. number one priority, i HAVE to graduate. i spent hours in the studio tonight and will spend hours in the studio tomorrow. but then there are all my other classes. i can’t look at his messages, it will make me fail, and that’s exactly what he wants. i have no time for a social life. i miss him so badly, but not his insanity. how cruel can he be?! he keeps seeing how badly he can hurt me. I’m so heartbroken and I’m trying so hard […]
For those females that are considered UNATTRACTIVE by males, they do NOT understand how lucky they really are!
Beauty is NOT a blessing. It is now just one BIG CURSE!!
If one is a beautiful female, one will REALIZE that finding a straight or bisexual male that genuinely likes you for your mind and soul and NOT your body is very hard!
As for gay males, they do NOT like beautiful females as they are JEALOUS of them, since straight males( whom they highly sexually desire), WANT attractive females and NOT them.Thus the jealousy they exhibit towards beautiful females is what makes it IMPOSSIBLE to have a nice […]
I think I might try in a couple days…
It’s earlier than I expected but I can’t handle this anymore…
Goodbye everyone… I hope you just follow your hearts…
~E
this has happened once before
the world is closing another door
perhaps tonight
I’ll lose this never ending fight
my wrists will bleed
but done is the deed
I won’t cry this time
my dear, I am not fine
i wish you only knew
what I’ve been going through
don’t you dare pretend you miss me
the hour here is three
and I’m waving goodbye
see you on the flip side
Miss me but let me go
When I came to the end of the road and the sun has set for me.
I want no rites in a gloom filled room, Why cry for a soul set free. Miss me a little–but not too long, And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared, Miss me— but let me go.
For this is a journey that we all must take, and each must go alone.
It’s all a part of the Master’s plan, A step on the road to home. When you are lonely and sick of heart, Go to […]
I used to smile all the time. I never cared what anyone said about me. Then they started getting meaner meaner. They hit me and called me things like “slut” and “*****”. My own friends had turned on me. Like they didn’t even care about me anymore. I thought for a long time. Then I started cutting. I never thought I would be one of the people who started doing this. I actually felt really good. The bullying just got worse. I got so tried with it. I decided I wasn’t good enough because that’s what they told me. I got a bottle of pills […]
“Yeah, the whole thing begins, and I let you sink into my veins, and I feel the pain like it’s new.”
I ‘ve tried and tried to forget. the pain. the tears. the laughing. the smiling. the places. the memories. you. And no matter what I do or say, I can’t. I miss it all, every second and day of it. I miss how close we were. Now it’s just gone, without any explanation. Not even a good-bye. I put away all the things you gave me so I wouldn’t be as reminded of you. It helped for awhile. But then I took out the letter…. […]
“I swear I hear your voice, it’s driving me insane”
Some days are better than others. My bad days though, they shatter me. On my bad days it feels like somebody has opened up my chest, taken a handful of my heart, and ripped it out. Some days I don’t miss him, but when I do, my entire being misses him. He wasn’t just my boyfriend, he was my best friend. I know.. how cliche right? Well it’s the truth. He knew how to handle me at my worst, he loved me unconditionally and wiped away all of my tears. He took it when I screamed […]
i miss having conversations with intellectually stimulating people. hell, i miss the short ”hello, goodbye” conversations. i miss conversation
now that you are near the end!
It’s been three weeks since I picked up a knife
And took it to my skin, when I began to slice
With each cut I made, the weaker I felt
And my heart had been filled to the top with guilt
It’s been two weeks since I wanted to die
To just disappear, oh how I wanted to cry
I wanted to lay in my grave and never wake again
But instead I took my feelings down with paper and a pen
It’s been one week since I last had bad thoughts
I’ve been doing what I can to survive, with everything I’ve got
I’ve been revived, I’m living a life
A life where I don’t […]
Why do I even try to befriend people?
Why do I even try my best to feel loved?
Why do I even try to find people who might care for me?
Why do I even try to hope that someday I will find love?
Why do I even try to stop myself from thinking about suicide?
All I do when I befriend people is hurt them.
All I do when I try to feel loved is get hurt.
All I do when I try to find people who might care for me is to feel useless and unwanted.
All I do when I try to hope […]
I’m angry and anxious 24/7. I think about killing people all the time. Usually the homeless; no one would miss them in their absence. Sometimes children–isn’t the world overpopulated enough? I hate what I’ve become. Even my cat isn’t safe. I feel like I’m losing my soul to madness.
I’m confused on whether I want to commit or live.
If I live, there is that possibility that life will be how I want it to be in the future, but it could tyrn out shitty like it is now.
If I just commit, it’ll be over.
I won’t have to suffer and struggle anymore.
I just, there are SO MANY positives and negatives with both.
I can never really see my future, when I try to it’s like “Yeah, I’m already gone so..”
BUT when I plan on attempting, I realize I’ll miss the videos my favourite youtubers make
I’ll miss listening to new […]
I miss how I used to be.
I never really liked myself before, but at least I was happy. At least I didn’t feel empty inside. At least I felt like somebody important. I enjoyed hanging out with my friends and family. I even enjoyed having time to myself. I actually cared about how I spent my time. I didn’t dread every second of every day. I actually wanted to inspire and impress people with what I achieved in my life.
But now I just want to do nothing. I could careless about about anything.
I just want to give up….
I just wish my life would end. No […]