I cant sleep just too many thoughts going threw my mind like ” does he feel the same about me ” “why do I even think I have a chance” “whats the point anymore” . people don’t understand that the littlest things will make me upset. I want to sleep again, but tow hours a night isn’t enough. Thoughts of killing my self goes threw my head every night almost.. but then I think too myself when im dead ill still be judged and people will talk about me even more about ” the girl who killed her self”. if I ever did I think […]
Tag:
Mom
always yelling always talking about me like I’m not there. My dad died when i was eight he was the only one of a family of six that i loved. Once he went suicidal and left me all alone i don’t know what to do. My mom has become a different person and is always complaining about everything i do. She does not understand that i try to do everything I can do right. I make good grades I try to be happy and i give advice to others. Sometimes when i ask for advice or when i need comfort. Nobody is there to give […]
My boyfriend talks a lot of shit about my mom. I hate it. Yeah sometimes I’ll complain when she doesn’t let me go do something, but I get over it. I love my mom more than anything, I probably would’ve killed myself that time I was about to attempt it, but then I remembered my mom. My mom is everything to me, and I hate the fact that my boyfriend talks so much shit about her. I’ve told him to stop but he doesn’t. I don’t think it’s okay for him to do that. I tell him that if I wanted his opinion I would’ve […]
I’m 15 and sad. I know these dark thoughts are bad and I should get help but I honestly don’t want to depend on anyone for my weakness. I don’t know whether im depressed or just sad… all I know is that I feel empty and really dark all the time. I don’t remember when this all started and I don’t know when im getting better. I have self-harmed before and I still do. I remember the first time I took a blade to my wrist I was only 12. At an age like that I should have been happy and going out playing in the sun. […]
You haven’t slept at home for over two and half years, and I get it i’m 16 now but this started when I was 13 and a half. I don’t need you know because I’ve learned to do this myself to wake up every morning at six and shower, make my lunch, get ready and then wait for you too show up and drive me to school. You evolve everything around your boyfriend. I really just want you home. I want a mom I can talk to about the gossip going around school about the boy I like and anything. “Dads” been out of the […]
So I’ve been thinking about the Helium method, since its the least painful, and seems the quickest.
I do not have access to firearms, and dousing myself in gasoline and lighting a match doesnt seem like a peaceful and painless way to go out gracefully.
And no, please no “dont do it” this website is for those of us who are ready to make the final step, and if i cant get the helium method to work, i will just have to go out on the train tracks, and wait for a freight train, although I think it might hurt (even for a split millisecond) […]
I wish I could get this feeling away from me but suicide pops into my head all day. I’m 21 years old and feel like I have already lived enough. I’m drained. I sit here now typing this in my bed n don’t even have the energy to pick my head up off the pillow. And I did nothing today. Like I do everyday. But suicide seems so nice right now. Like all this stress and sadness gone in a minute. Â But what’s so hard about it is I don’t want to die. When I think about it I just think of my mom n […]
My name is Cassie im 18 years old and a senior in high school. When i was 12 years old i was sexually abused by my own mom. So my life has been anything but easy. In my english class this year i finally told my story and took my life back and know that my mom doesn’t control my life. I’m more stronger then i ever been. So if anyone has been through something like i have you can always talk to me and i’ll give you advice on what to do.
I was just reading through an online addition of the peaceful pill handbook (probably an outdated version, but oh well). If anyone has read some of my other posts, I have talked about how much I would like to use an exit bag. I don’t have any supplies gathered yet, but that’s because I’m trying to learn as much as I can about this method before I go out and do it. From what I can understand, gas is the most common “knocker outer” that is used with exit bags. I have considered buying a tank of helium or ********, maybe even both for good […]
I never asked to be born. It’s not like I was given much of a choice. I didn’t choose my parents, my house, the schools I went to or the country in which I live. I’m just here. And everyday it becomes harder for me to accept that. It’s not my fault that I see the world the way I do, or that I hold such feelings of hatred for it. Nothing would make me happier than to see it and everyone in it burn. But no amount of me hoping, ranting or dreaming of that is going to make it happen. So I give […]
I remember when I had none
No secrets.
There were no need for them.
I could trust anyone and everyone with anything.
I had no secrets.
I had no worries.
But one day something changed.
I became older, more mature
and suddenly everything was my fault.
Have you ever had a loved one pass?
Have you ever been bullied?
Has your mother ever gotten mad at you,
and said the words “Its just who you are”?
That’s all happened to me.
Now I’m worried.
Now I have secrets.
There’s no going back to the old me.
There’s no reversing what’s happened.
There’s nothing I can do,
besides […]
Jladd here as all of you know and i figured you guys would like to hear my story.
My mom never use to be a drunk or violent. She was once a normal beautiful women who would give you the shirt off her back. But that’s not the case now. I have two brothers and a sister. And then one adopted brother and sister. My mother never use to hit me or anything like that but it all started after we moved into our new house and she lost her job. My stepdad was always at work to support us so i never really saw him and […]
My mother is still physically and mentally abusive. And she never use to be abusive at all but i dont really know what happened. My mom has said hurtful things to me like telling me im a fuck-up and im worthless and also that nobody likes a little girl with scars. Not to metion the physical abuse so bad that i wish she would just kill me right then, but anyways i just cant bring myself to hate her and i still care about her dearly and i even drained my bank account to help pay for her surgery and prescriptions. Is there something wrong […]
How do I tell my dead best friend’s mom that she is the only person keeping me alive?
by whyohwhysky
written by whyohwhysky
I love her dearly and I feel so calm around her; basically the mom I never had. Talking to her and getting her hugs is so relieving for me…but she’s not my mom. And I don’t want to burden/scare her by mentioning I’m suicidal.
But, I don’t know how else to reach out to her. I’m embarrassed that I have no one else and I also don’t want to overwhelm her. I really just see her as the only person that has the ability to help me.
I never thought that the people i watched on the tv in health class could one day be me. I never thought i would feel so helpless that i would want to die. But i do…and have attempted sciucide three times, each time i have either been stopped by someone, or it just didnt work. I think that this depression, or feelings of depression came about the start of my 9th grade year. Everyone has a group of friends, i was too unsocial to join one and now im too late, everyone always says; oh wow your so funny or you crack me up, but […]
I’m 13 years old. I would tell you my name, but being new here, I don’t know if I can trust you all to that extent yet. Normally, I post poems that reflect how I feel at the moment, or how I felt throughout the day, but right now I’d like to get a few things off my chest. I’ve told a few of my friends some of this before, but no one knows all of it at its worst. I feel as though I can trust all of you with at least this, even if I don’t know you. So here it goes.
My story:
I guess it started when I was born. I’m currently writing incredibly bluntly, please bear with it. I’m immensely bitter, especially right now. The state I’m in right now is disjointed and confusing and I just don’t understand anything of my thoughts, I thought maybe writing my story out would help.
Right, so I guess it started when I was born. So really, just this family. I’ve been abused as a kid. I don’t realize this until now. I didn’t understand this as abuse, and I was a child who only knew their parents to be right. I didn’t really understand the concept of having your […]
fourth grade and things didnt get better. People didnt really talk to me and if they did, they never had anything nice to say to me.I constantly got called names; Fatty, little miss piggy, worm (because i had my hair braided and they looked like little worms), four eyes, book worm, slob, ugly etc. I became very drawn back and I started to write poetry. My first poem was called no one cares about me. its a self explanatory poem. the names got to me. they weighted on my heart so much. I became bitter towards the world. I started to get a really bad attitude. I fought back […]
Wrote my Last Will tonight. Getting it notarized this weekend and signed by two witnesses tomorrow. Felt great. Left most everything to my recently deceased lover’s family. His mom was the second kindest person to me; the first being her beautiful son who I can’t bear to live on without.
It was only the first time.
I spun the blade around in my hands
contemplating if I should really do this or not.
I heard my mom yell.
Yes, I should, It’s worth it.
The blade sank into my arm,
cutting across my arm.
Not too deep.
It was only the second time.
The kids at school were bullies.
My parents just got mad.
I took the blade in my hands.
I didn’t even think about it.
I pushed it into my arm,
cutting across parallel to the last one,
A little deeper.
It was at least the 50th time.
I didn’t even have different reasons anymore.