Tag:

moments

Feeling low

by Still wandering 1/14/2016

written by Still wandering

Today is bad. No thoughts. I am sad, unable to find out the reason.

Just a moment before I started writing this post, I was thinking about the past when I felt a connection with her for the very first time. It was summer of 2007.

June 2007. 🙂 well I felt little good now. 🙂

I miss our first chats. It was deleted accidentally.(phone updation)
And rest messages were deleted by myself when I was this close to end my life.
I deleted our all conversations.
I deleted my whole notes(kinda journal). (It contained more than 2500 pages. Those pages had so much good memory.
Today I […]

1/14/2016 4 comments

That Pain

by Kninea 1/5/2016

written by Kninea

Hi, call me Kninea, and no that’s not my real name. We were told to not use them so this is my username now. Some of you have found this website the same way I did. Through a book, things like smooth passages. I have dealt with my own version of depression. Hasn’t everyone at least once in their life? I, myself, have fleeting moments of depression, but those moments are almost unbearable. I have decided to tell you my opinion on depression. I, honestly, have contemplated suicide, but I wouldn’t want my family to go through the pain I go through. That’s the only […]

1/5/2016 2 comments

I’m so tired of this life

by nicole123 12/26/2015

written by nicole123

All I think about is killing myself . I try to be happy in moments but I can never seem to do it . All I have been thinking about lately is wanting to die . I don’t know if I can make it in 2016

12/26/2015 5 comments

by nicole123 12/16/2015

written by nicole123

I watch everyone’s days go on around me. I feel like in stuck in time. Depression has slowed me.

I feel even when I sleep for hours, I do not feel rejuvenated. I don’t feel good.

Even when I have the least bit of confidence, it soon diminishes after a few seconds.

I feel content for moments at a time. Yesterday I felt the warm sun . I was happy. But that feeling soon disappeared.

I think it’s hard to get better. Nothing seems to have a point. I don’t feel like there’s any reason to be alive. I don’t think my life has meaning at all.

I wish […]

12/16/2015 1 comment

Need to Vent

by Ylem 12/12/2015

written by Ylem

I survived yesterday. I don’t know how I’ll make it through today.
Yesterday I just slept. Today, all I want to do is get high. Maybe that will help.
It gets harder by the day. I don’t want it to end just yet, but if things keep going downhill every single second, I might not live to see next year. I don’t want to keep having these impulsive moments where I want it all to end now. I’m afraid soon enough I will act on them.
I don’t want to hurt my family. Right now is not a good time to end it. Not now. […]

12/12/2015 2 comments

It’s still there..

by alina_01 12/12/2015

written by alina_01

whether I want it or not. I don’t want to cut myself nor do I want to die anymore the mere thought seems absurd to me. Sometimes it’s hard to believe I used to want to not only that but I attempted suicide countless times. Yay such a huge step but the truth is I’m still sad inside the only difference is I’d rather live with the sadness than die and feel nothing. I have so many issues that plague me for one I have become emotionally numb that or maybe I haven’t found anyone worth having feelings for. I use sex as some coping […]

12/12/2015 1 comment

I am so tired of this, just let me fall

by Fleur fragile 11/28/2015

written by Fleur fragile

“The responsible one, the mature one, the reasonable and the rational one. No, I could never just take all that Xanax that’s not right. Gotta keep the grades up gotta stay smart gotta do it right or it all goes downhill.”

Right? That’s who I fucking am, right?

But, you see, I’m so god damned tired of being the responsible, mature, rational girl that knows not to make stupid decisions. Drugs and alcohol are no good, I know what they do to you. I’ve sat through every fucking school assembly about how deadly that lifestyle is, I’ve witnessed people go down that path and never return. But […]

11/28/2015 3 comments

Lost in depression but more so rage

by theloser102 11/24/2015

written by theloser102

Just a few moments ago, I had a dream. In this dream I was in a canyon walking aimlessly, the weather conditions were rain and lightning. I saw another person, I did not know who this individual was. Anyways he was around 100 feet from where I was and he jumped, I did not bother to save him as I was paralyzed by the sight of him jumping off the cliff. When I got to his exact location blood was everywhere, I looked into his wallet I found nothing but a suicide note in the dollar compartment……… I got extremely pissed off to the point […]

11/24/2015 3 comments

This was the happiest day

by nicole123 11/22/2015

written by nicole123

That day was one of the best days I’ve had . That’s my step sister on the right . This pictures was taken in 2014. We went out on my granny’s boat in June and it was so sunny and warm and we watch the sunset and ate on the beach. I was so content and full that day . I spent time with my family and it was fun. Most days aren’t like that . That day was great . I had no worries in […]

11/22/2015 15 comments

I think I’m going to do it

by tandb 11/14/2015

written by tandb

There are only a handful of things keeping me from doing it, and they’re all people. My wife, whom I don’t want to leave to pick up my shit. My little brother, who will be so confused. My parents, who will be ravaged. My employees, who will not understand.

But the reasons not to are starting to be outweighed by the feeling that I need to do it.

I feel like the moments where I think about doing it are the only moments of clarity in my life and that everything else is fake.

I think that the fact that I don’t want to do it, but feel […]

11/14/2015 6 comments

It’s back

by wastedlongago 11/12/2015

written by wastedlongago

It’s been a while, although it sits at bay ready at a moments notice. Just waiting for the next opportunity to form again. Sad existence. No real purpose. I feel like I suffer so everyone else can continue. When I hear of someone committing, I am not sad. I understand that this place is not for everyone. Read a quote that the noise is too much for some. Or something like that. I’ve got more to say but gonna stop now. I wanna see if anyone relates.

11/12/2015 5 comments

Protected: I don’t have single happy memory in mind.

by daitya1989 11/10/2015

written by daitya1989

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

11/10/2015 8 comments

That Moment

by Take a Deep Breath 11/7/2015

written by Take a Deep Breath

There is a moment when you look into the eyes of the people you love and see how much pain you are putting them through. There is a moment when you see the worry and the suffering and the fear- and the exhaustion you are putting them through. How their movements become slower, as if the world is weighing on their shoulders. There is a moment when you remember just how worthless you are- just how much you aren’t worth it.

I looked into my mom’s eyes tonight and saw the fear in them. I saw the worry, and the pain of 20 years of having […]

11/7/2015 14 comments

entry 2: Ghost Tears

by shadow@dusk 10/24/2015

written by shadow@dusk

Imagine if you will a dark room painted with light and shadow. Objects stand in various positions casting different images, but something is wrong. Shouldn’t the light cast the shadows? No, instead in this case, the Shadows are casting light. The objects, enveloped in the deep black have somehow determined to paint it with some sort of luminescence. But this imaginary construct does not exist, in fact, beyond being impossible, it is metaphorically maddening. Yet, this is the image of myself , of the tears , that fade into black , because they are themselves black , they are the blood of the world that […]

10/24/2015 1 comment

This time of day

by FigBatDiggerNick 10/23/2015

written by FigBatDiggerNick

It’s 2:30 AM

I really love this time of the day, it reminds me of my first suicide attempt and one of the greatest moments of my summer.

It’s…

REAL NIGGA HOURS

10/23/2015 0 comment

lets not wake up

by noodle 10/10/2015

written by noodle

wishful thinking gets us nowhere.

there’s nothing spectacular about tomorrow. Â just another really fucking heavy piece of shit i’m pulling with me everywhere i go. Â everyone has fucking flaps on their eyes, where do they get them, i wish i had them but then i guess i wont be able to see the little moments that make this worth while. is this worth it, i duno. WE’RE IN THE FUCKING MATRIX.

one thing i must admit, not sure if it makes me feel good or subtly not good, the fact that i’m not forced to wear long sleeves. because of these people with the eye flaps. still […]

10/10/2015 2 comments

“Breathe into my hands”

by Trix 10/8/2015

written by Trix

The days are made up of small moments. Today’s best moments come when I walk into the other room and the sun falls on my face. The worst moments come when I climb back into bed, moaning from the pain. Some moments are lighter: they’re surreal, empty, clouded, but the depression has lifted just slightly. Others are agony, like fresh knife wounds… some are in between. It’s a mess of drowning and rising, but never quite breathing.

Derealisation has been on my mind a lot. Because of a couple of clearer moments I’ve had recently, I’ve convinced myself that it’s possible for the cloak over reality […]

10/8/2015 20 comments

The Great Unknown

by setmefree16 10/7/2015

written by setmefree16

The other day I found myself staring at the ocean.. Waves coming in and breaking over my feet and then going back out again. This process was constant.. never ending. I found myself thinking about the vastness of the ocean and how i could easily get lost out there. There was something so majestic and beautiful about the feeling of the water crashing around my ankles and the feeling of the coarse rocky sand moving beneath my feet. I could taste the salt in the air and I could feel the humidity sticking to my skin.
And yet, in these simply beautiful, […]

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10/7/2015 2 comments

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Alone.

by prosser6 9/13/2015

written by prosser6

I hurt myself again today.

Just to make sure I’m still alive. Another scar on my arm, another broken frame.

The blood falls onto the sheets, the crippling fear at my gates.

Another failure in the books. No one hears my screams, my happiness is a lie.

But that’s the price of making others happy.

And the only pain in death is felt by those who are left behind.

Our empty world is cruel, hurtful and unforgiving. It will break you.

I still remember your beautiful face. Those fleeting moments we shared.

I can only hope you’re still with me, holding me close while I cry myself to sleep.

I don’t blame you. Your […]

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9/13/2015 2 comments

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Humbled

by Rory959 9/4/2015

written by Rory959

I get told quite often that I’m a humble man. I’m only 20, but maybe this rings true to my personality. Why though? I think it’s because of all the shit that’s been thrown at me for as far back as I can remember. All the bullying, all the death and loss, all the yelling. I always wanted it to go away, to end and never once start up again. A futile request…I know.

But I think that is what has made me humble. Because I can’t care anymore. No matter how much I try to muster up an ounce of fucks to give about […]

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9/4/2015 7 comments

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