I think of going to the hospital for help. Facing that humiliating moment when you tell them that you’re there not because you want to save your life but because you want to die. I think of the uncomfortable hours I will wait before the very busy nurse comes to talk to me. I know that when she does talk to me, we will be interrupted by several people for several reasons. Paperwork, room needs restocking, garbage needs emptying. Time is up. All of the things that harbor a good honest conversation. Yes these things will bother me, but if I say anything I will […]
I am 18 years old, I am a recovering intervenes drug addict , I was shooting up morphine and oxy cotton when I was 16 resulting in shooting up heroine at 17 , just months ago I came to Nova Scotia to become sober , in all honesty I travelled from one province to another to make some money selling my ass for some cash, it turned bad and I ended up showing on my Aunts doorstep , strung out begging not to send me back to newfoundland. where the depth of my addiction began , Eventually things began to change around here , I would […]
I read that when you have an orgasm that it is impossible for you to feel any pain, i had this idea that the moment you reach orgasm would be a good time to stab yourself through the heart or jump by hanging, when i cum it lasts for well over 1 minute which might be ideal for the athame through the flames..
I read this scientific study of what happens to the human brain when a person is having an orgasm & in the brain scan the studies showed that the […]
Faking it.
From the outside I have it all. Unfortunately my mind is plagued with trauma, depression, and intense anxiety… leaving me in an existential haze in order to cope; I am merely going through the motions. I used my looks and my body to get through college and thought I would regain my sanity afterwards, but thats not the case. I now have a useless degree, too many therapists, lost a soul mate, and a mind that won’t cease come nightfall. I […]
I’m wondering if I have enough morphine and to do the job I have a plan I’m going to go to my favorite tree ccliimb it sand od
You know what you always hear people saying that they want to kill them self for many reasons and i never thought that i would be one of those people. I AM NOW !!!!.
I have very bad health ( my backs  falling apart) i am in so much pain all the time and i am fighting it 24/7 . I am 32 and i  had so much to live for.
Its all been taken away from me and i have hit rock bottom. I cry every day, i have dark thoughts all the time that i could just take all my med that i am on a […]
   Something that I’ve learned recently is that when somebody very close to you passes away, the process of grieving that we human go through never really goes away and it can come back at any moment and smack you down hard.
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    On July 24th 2008, the day after my 23rd birthday, my dad was diagnosed with ‘Small Cell Lung Cancer’ and it was devastating to my family. He’d had a pain in his shoulder and when he had gone to the doctors they suspected pneumonia. With the confirmation of cancer, he was told they could not cure it but could prolong his […]
stuck in a hole in south east asia, wanted by the authorities, hiding like a scared dog. truth be known, I’ve been hiding my entire life. severe depression since childhood, won’t get into the abuse i suffered but its has haunted me thru  my adult life. I crapped in my mess kit and now i have no way out other than death and frankly i don’t care any longer. Im only writing because its lonely as all hell here. I suppose dying is to be a private matter, but every step is agony and isolation. I believe the plastic bag and morphine is the way […]
hi all.
someone (me) took my username, so I used my username as my password. anywho.
some idiot told me to call the suicide hotline about a month ago, and I’ve called it before, and from many different states in the USA. this was about a month or year ago. I really do forget.
I tried to kill myself for about 5 years maybe ten. I stopped trying to kill myself about 4 years or maybe 3 years ago now. Now I bounce in between states, jail and doctors offices. it’s great don’t get me wrong, if I had a gun I would shoot hella stuff, but I […]
I’m S. I suffer with bipolar disorder. I was bullied all through school and had trouble making friends. I was raped when I was six then again at 12 after which I attempted suicide. I grew up with a perfect family. I have always been extremely close to my mam, dad and sisters. Last year I found out my dad is not my biological father when someone emailed me saying that I’m there sister. I now have 7 new brothers and sisters and a biological father who is currently in rehab. My family hasn’t changed but I haven’t coped with it I’ve just pushed it […]
one night one night i had this dream .. the sky was dark and the whole worls was mean mommmy you where there but you went the same ..you had no money and you were insane i remember you spent everything we had on morphine…
you couldn’t pay the rent of a two bedroom so we shared our broken house with a couple of goons .. who sold drugs and where all cracked out they stayed in the living room sleeping on the couch ..
momy mom why rant you eating … im not hungry dear .now goodbye im leaving.. she walked out the door sometimes it […]
These are excerpts from letters written by Robert G. Ingersoll that were published in the New York World, 1894.Â
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 “People should not suffer for the sake of supernatural beings or for other worlds or the hopes and fears of some future state. Our joys, our sufferings and our duties are here. After all, death is not so terrible as a Joyless life. Next to eternal happiness is to sleep in the soft clasp of the cool earth, disturbed by no dream, by no thought, by no pain, by no fear, unconscious of all and forever.
 The fear of God, of Judgment, of eternal pain will cause such believers […]