one night one night i had this dream .. the sky was dark and the whole worls was mean mommmy you where there but you went the same ..you had no money and you were insane i remember you spent everything we had on morphine…
you couldn’t pay the rent of a two bedroom so we shared our broken house with a couple of goons .. who sold drugs and where all cracked out they stayed in the living room sleeping on the couch ..
momy mom why rant you eating … im not hungry dear .now goodbye im leaving.. she walked out the door sometimes it took days when you came back you were in a blaze.. you were gone i looked into your eyes and i saw someone els ..
plese mommy tell me why tll me why …was i really that bad …or was life just to sad .. now im sitting here in tears and is this is the only life i have..
one day you you made some some tea ..and you slipped something in there especially for me … you told me to put put my hand and gave some money.. i went to the mall .. you where over there i could see you but i couldn’t think …
you walk away and i tried to scream but nothing came out.. im trying to put one foot infront of the other but for some resin i cant… everything is slow i could never catch up you were walking so fast.. and you left me in the dark …
there was a man there but he was high as fuck to i asked him for help but didn’t get through .. we just said try this its fun take this shopping cart and really fast run..
three crack heads were there all in a circle they where chanting a song and lighting a candle..the said come over here we need a fourth person without you we cant salmon the demons …
josh you where there too .. you were all high on e and it couldn’t stop you ..you came over to me and you looked into my eyes ,..you told me panda…anthony is broken inside ..theres someone missing … someone he needs and its changed him and the way that he is…
i can’t remember ..but somehow i got home ..but home wasn’t home to me it was dark and alone… mommy mommy the fridge is empathy you havnt fed me in a week all i have is these cookies …
but i was just so sick ..so sick with hunger so i ate them all down and thought of ending the sober… i want to feel happy i need that too .. so i went and i stole your block of morphine and i left you..
i packed a bag and put my thumb in the air .. i guy picked me up and took me to nowhere … he stoped the car and tried to pin me down .. so i just pulled out a knife and stabbed him in his crown … and then i jumped out and ran and ran the sky was still dark .. and i fell to the ground not a scream out of me nothing not a sound  ..not even a tear no ..no nothing i cant feel no fear im num..im num inside and im all alone hear and tell me why
mommy mommy why cant you hold me again and tell me you love me.. daddy daddy where were you the time of the suffering… vie tried and tried but i cant take it where is the world