Just making a list that I can look back on whenever I feel down.
– Parents: Unlike what most people I know say about their parents, mine are amazing to me. They have supported me through everything and never left. If anything, they are here more than ever 🙂
– Close friends: They understand that I need them, but that I also need space.
– Boyfriend: I don’t even know where to start with how much he has helped me.
– My old therapist: The reason I can trust.
– My ex / now friend: The one person who completely understood and took all the […]
Tag:
Music
i find the only way to stop my mind turning so much is music, and to sleep or stop going insane if i listen to music its like it orders my thoughts more, or they have a soundtrack to dance to so they dont run into each other and cause more hurt.
i should sleep now, but i seem to want to hang with other suicidals in the internets, ah i hardly recognise myself.
That may never come true…
But…
I wish…
To spend one day together
Driving through the woods
With the music loud
And the windows rolled down
Taking awesome pictures
Ending by a relaxed time at the beach
Just wishing we had that special friendship
A bond
That will be strong
And a cherished memory
That will be remembered forever
I’ve been moving on lately. Not in the way one would imagine. I’ve become raw and uncut in my creativity. I’m exposing myself to the world with photos of what i see, thing I model in a virtual space, things i may draw by hand and music. Oh no I’m still not happy. But I’ve decided to keep pretending.
I”m doing light work. Work as in making amends to old flames if I possibly can. Maybe an offer of friendship or two. I’m learning to forgive my parents even though they still bait trap and subtly belittle for effect, and myself because I keep making mistakes. […]
the coward’s way out, then I’d rather be a smart coward than brave and delusional
ever since I’ve stopped going to college (sept. 2011), I’ve been trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do next, what path to follow .. in vain
but the truth is: a future where I’m glad I’m still alive, where I’ve found a purpose is a self-inflicted lie .. my ego+personality knows that when I die, it will be the end of it and it can’t stand the idea of its own death .. so it would rather fool me into believing there’s still something to gain from, something to accomplish […]
I try to get help, like everyone says to. I try to tell people about how i feel, they dont listen. I try to use music, but its not enough. The only thing that ever seems to be enough is a blade. Not because it feels good, or because i like to watch myself bleed, because it seems like its the only thing that ever listens to me. For once, i can take my mind off not being oerfect enough, or pretty enough, and i can focus on a other type of pain. Release. Everyone seems to care so much about themselves. All my friends […]
The desire of death is always haunting me like a bad memories.
The joy of a end is a longing of my soul.
The sound of silence is pleasant music to my mind that I do not own.
The peace of nothing is a craving to strong.
If u have the answer I beg you to foretold.
As I have tried many a road and a different end I do not hold.
Just the desire of my eyes to close.
I’ve decided to let it all go, let everything that’s bothering me, go. I feel like I should be someone because of the people I know and the expectations that I perceive they have of me, but it’s all in my head. Ok, I’m sure it’s not all in my head or else I wouldn’t be writing this.
I love women, but I have nothing to offer. All I want is death and that supercedes just about everything I see and hear. Any desires, yearnings I might have, are outranked by my desire to not be.
I haven’t seen friends in months, recently started chatting […]
That feeling of nothing where I move from place to place not smiling or laughing, not caring or caring.
Some would call this being present. Present and detached. All the demands made on me are met with silence. Even my own needs are met with silence.
Though I feel like crying I’m just to lacking in anything to do so. If tears fall let them for they will not affect me.
I’ve always been able to relate to some other in some small way, but very very few the other way around. And it’s ok now because it no longer affects me.
Like a favourite movie, […]
I thought I was better. Until this last month. Everything always crushes you with every pound it has. Everyones fake faces and voices and fake friendships even fake family. I recently started cutting and taking sleeping pills again. Sleep is so much more comforting. Even a nightmare is more peaceful than having to talk to and look anyone in their plastic eyes. I’m back to sleeping 16 hour days and cutting in the shower.
Please listen to my music
Soundcloud.com/virtue_official
i had the best night out. no drinking involved but after working for weeks without much of a break i was so happy to just get on the dance floor and just go with the music. it was so relaxing. not caring what anyone thought just going with it. i just closed my eyes and felt the music. one of the best nights of my life.
Ladies & Gentlemen, You are about to witness
what it is like to be an eagle that jumps into the
sky and plays king.
This eagle sees it all. and he knows there is
no such thing as evil. it is pure love affair.
At the end of the game, there are going to be
strange results.
That is when i will disappear, and let you all
sort it out yourselves.
* burrrp *
remember i said that.
To Get Started, please listen to this song by
Britney Spears.
Your comments must be written in mysterious ways.
we are not looking for literal terminologies.
use songs, use music, use metaphors as you […]
I remember when I was a little girl - watching Nickalodean, eating junk food and playing video games. Sad and alone because the kids at school bullied me, hated me, and my parents thought I was just being a drama queen when I told them.
Now, here I am. I just finished my Freshman year of high school.
The bullying’s stopped a lot. By no means am I popular, I’m shy and antisocial, but I have a few real friends now who back me up.
But now I smoke pot. I cut myself and am suicidal. I’m secretly bi-sexual and dating my best friend, who’s also suicidal. My dad hates […]
This is the final test of…. well I don’t really know.I am going back to the place where it all began.where it began and ended. I don’t know if I can take it without breaking down. to somepeople on here we sound happy in comments when we really are dying inside. for me music kinda helps sad or not. I personally like arms of an angel by Sarah mchlaughlan and emotionless by good Charlotte. but I am still partly dead inside.I said before I hated my dad. but honestly id rather feel.sadness/depression rather than hatred.
I’m depressed, I feel lonely and worthless and a lot of other negative things I feel about myself. I’ve self-harmed, had suicidal thoughts and tried to overdose myself. I don’t have any friends, I miss school a lot because it stresses me out for absolutely no reason. I sleep a lot, over 10 hours everyday. I can barely manage to eat anything and I can get angry for little or no reason. I’ve kept suffering and I couldn’t do anything about it.
But now, instead of what I would do. You know what I do? I lock myself in the bathroom with my cellphone and earphones, […]
i can never seem to please people,noone really cares,i piss people off for just being alive,but deep inside, theres two sides of me,a little part of me that wants people to be happy and do something to help them out, but when it aint good enough or they dont care,the other part of me wants to piss them off,the fact that they would never last a day in my shoes, past and present, makes me stronger, makes me smarter because i knew and know how to survive.if i was them, i would be dead from being murdered or something els,if being alive didnt piss people […]
The desire of death is always haunting me like a bad memorie . The joy of a end is a longing of my soul. The sound of silence is pleasant music to my mind that I do not own.
The peace of nothing is a craving to strong. If you have the answer I beg you to foretold. As I have tried many a road and a different end I do not hold. Just the desire of my eyes to close.
The desire of death is always haunting me like a bad memorie . The joy of a end is a longing of my soul. The sound of silence is pleasant music to my mind that I do not own.
The peace of nothing is a craving to strong. If you have the answer I beg you to foretold. As I have tried many a road and a different end I do not hold. Just the desire of my eyes to close.
Hello. I’m 21 gay, super sensitive, highly anxiety sufferer, depressed.
I was abused sexually/physically when i was a kid.
all that good stuff.
well in 2010 i went to college roomed with a friend from highschool, i wasn’t really confused about my sexuality. idk how to explain it. well i fell in love with him. he outed me after i explained it the best i could. in which was i’m gay i’ve fallin in love with you, i need to move out and choose my on way. Â he taunted me, grabbed his junk at me all the time. it made me feel so worthless. when i moved out. […]
She was sitting in her bed looking up at the ceiling blasting her music;
She started crying and she knew exactly why;;
She felt useless and alone;
She was very angry;
All of her love started to turn into hate;;
It was like a switch turning off;;
She didn't care anymore and why should she;;
you just broke her heart without thinking twice;;
Don't try to deny it don't try to fight it;;
You say you love her so much but what you keep doing is the opposite;;
Your words mean nothing;;
Its not what you say but what you do;;
And your just proving your story wrong;;
the girl wondered why she was so imperfect […]