Tag:

my life

A Christmas Note

by L4Y 12/25/2014

written by L4Y

This is just a quick note to wish everyone on SP well during the holidays. I realize this is one of the most difficult periods for many people here and it can be Hell having everyone else’s happiness and enjoyment thrown in your face for the better part of two weeks. Personally, I’m not too crazy about this time of year myself (even though things in my life are a little better than in previous years), but I suppose it is what it is.

Anyway, I hope everyone is able to make the best that they can out of the holidays.

L4Y
(L4Y@cogeco.ca)

12/25/2014 4 comments

One year ago, I would’ve never thought I’d go this far, now I’m scared of the future

by Timmifutzelchen 12/25/2014

written by Timmifutzelchen

ASL: 17, Male, German

I always used to be the person that had a hand in “saving” all my suicidal friends. Not to try and boast about it, in fact, I have no idea how I did it, but according to those friends, they wouldn’t be here today if I hadn’t listened to them and helped them back then. I used to be strong and have a lot of friends that appreciated me a lot for what I did for them.

Skip forward a year or two and here I am, today, wondering how I’m going to get over my fear of death so I can finally […]

12/25/2014 2 comments

the innate sadness attached to suicide is the brain trying to protect it’s genetic self…

by tinder1972 12/24/2014

written by tinder1972

…so as thinking beasts it is our duty to rationalize the shit out of such thoughts and conclude that suicide is nothing more than a choice; no more significant than choosing which shoes to wear on a bright summers day.
Our lives are not that significant in the universal pattern, they are infintely short and rather grotesque affairs. My life is no more important or grandiose than your life, or the life of a perceived saint, we are all part of the same sea, or shit ball, depending on your outlook. Don’t get me wrong, there are good people, and there are definitely bad people, […]

12/24/2014 0 comment

chronic physical pain

by deadpuppy 12/24/2014

written by deadpuppy

i’ve been thru so much shit in my life i wouldn’t even know where to begin

then what happens? life throws chronic pain at me…yay! now i’m sitting here wanting to die and in agonizing pain

i’ve had this pain for 2 years now and it’s getting worse every day

the funny thing is that i was suicidal way before i got this pain…now i’m even more suicidal than i was before, which i didn’t think was possible

ughhhhhhh please just KILL ME NOW!!! i fucking HATE my life…

12/24/2014 5 comments

Happiness.

by WhereIsTheSilverLining 12/23/2014

written by WhereIsTheSilverLining

Sometimes you think you have everything under control, that your pretty smile and laugh is hiding everything. But sometimes you don’t see the cracks on the surface till others do.

In the past 20 years of my life, I’ve had one special friend they I could by my whole self too, she knew what I did and how I felt most days because she had the same feelings about life. She’s been my best friend since I was 3. We never got the chance to go to school together but she was always a short car ride or a phone call away. Everyday throughout high school […]

12/23/2014 2 comments

Why

by Atlus-of-why 12/23/2014

written by Atlus-of-why

I don’t see the point of staying alive anymore.

This is the conclusion I’ve come up with after the past 7 years. I just don’t see why I should keep going.

I’ve been faking my way through life for years now. My parents doesn’t know about it and if they did they’d make it worse.

I’d like to talk to a friend but i don’t have a lot and none of my current friends would understand how i feel.

Over the past year I’ve started to feel less and less joy from doing the things i liked once. I tear through book and don’t think any thing about them. […]

12/23/2014 2 comments

My health is gone i can’t recover

by W0und3d 12/23/2014

written by W0und3d

My health is gone i can’t recover, it’s been 5 painful yrs and i am still here…. I am tired of being hospitalize and being told i have nothing wrong with me and i am treated like i am crazy…. I tried eating natural stuff to cure my self and that in itself wasn’t helpful at all… I feel like i am in prison in my own body……. My family tells me not to give up and friends as well.. I have lost friends… this debilitating illness is drowning me… I feel like there’s no escaping this illness and i feel helpless…. I used to […]

12/23/2014 2 comments

I want to cut

by gabreialla 12/23/2014

written by gabreialla

I want to end up my pain not my life but to end up this horrible pain I need to die. I want to cut my hand’s arteries so I would die quickly in 15 minutes so even if they took me to the emergency there will be no time to save my life . I think this is the best solution for everyone and to make everyone happy . I don’t know when will I cut because I want to say bye to some people . thank you everyone in this website yes you were strangers but you helped me more than […]

12/23/2014 8 comments

Jaded: My struggle with suicide

by jcanida56 12/23/2014

written by jcanida56

My name is Joseph…..I’m a cutter, and I’m sick of being alive. I have nothing and nobody, and I’m worthless. I refuse to act on suicide anymore though because I’m sick of being locked up in those inpatient prisons for the mentally ill. Getting no help. On August 26th, I drove out in front of a semi going 70 in my 2012 Ford Focus. I was ready to end it. I was sick of the pain. It tore up my car, but somehow I walked away from it. Then my mom decided to kick me out so she could have her piece of crap, sleezebag […]

12/23/2014 17 comments

A Humble Helper

by Procel 12/22/2014

written by Procel

I was once a very active user on this sight, It was here I came when I was at my lowest point. I came here, like i believe many others did, in search of a good, solid method and also a partner. In my worst moments this sight was there for me, when nothing else was, when there was no one to talk to in my life this place offered a sympathetic ear that both understood my thoughts and offered no judgment, only advice, support and love. I have met some of the best people on the world here. Learned more about life and myself from them […]

12/22/2014 5 comments

I Don’t Know Anymore

by Lovebug4142 12/22/2014

written by Lovebug4142

Haven’t gotten out of my bed all day today, only to use the restroom, but that’s it. Haven’t eaten all day, and I’ve been up since 6 a.m. trying to lose weight. I’m fat. I cut myself Tuesday and Wednesday and its not healed yet, usually I’ll have a scab, but I guess I cut myself deeper than usual cause the wounds still open. It sucks i have to hide it from my dad an step mom. I don’t know I’m in a weird place, been thinking this whole time while I’ve been in my room. If I killed myself right now, no one would […]

12/22/2014 4 comments

fuck

by schema 12/22/2014

written by schema

looking at my classes for next semester are making me feel fucking sick and disgusted. i hate meeting new people and having to leave the old ones behind. i am no good at people–i don’t understand them and they do not like me very much, not at all. i wish i could be in a high-school system where i’d have to deal with the same kids for a year and then switch; even then, it would be very possible to have a lot of the same people i know in my classes from year to year. in college, it’s definitely a gamble. you’ll probably get […]

12/22/2014 1 comment

If you can relate…..

by pumpkinlover 12/22/2014

written by pumpkinlover

I think I have now entered in a new state of mine. The “Real Suicidal Path” . The feeling of knowing you’ll never be happy no matter who you are with or where you are. It’s really horrifying to feel this way. It’s like nothing and no one matters because you, yourself, doesn’t even matter. It’s getting to the point where I’m beginning to not care how my loved ones feel about anything. Rather they are upset about their own problems, or mad over my feelings… I just want to get out of bed right now, go into the kitchen, and stick a pair of […]

12/22/2014 47 comments

I don’t think there is anyone in the world who could really screw up their life like I did.

by Paranoid guy 12/21/2014

written by Paranoid guy

So this is my second post here. Could be my last. My previous post I mentioned how I said something dumb to my friends whilst I was high n drugged. It sounded gay I know they told other people about it. For the last two months this has been affected me. I been ashamed to go to gym, couldn’t function at work. My two friends which I normally hang out with would call me to meet on weekends but I would make excuses until two nights ago. They messaged me saying that they are going out to dance n are going to meet other […]

12/21/2014 15 comments

Merry Xmas? Fuck you, I don’t think so…

by Alexther 12/20/2014

written by Alexther

Another beautiful evening in my family. As usual, my dad threatens to kill himself, and my mother says he can do it, because she can’t take it anymore. After that, he turns violent and starts smashing things… It’s a mystery to me how he managed to smash so many things in so little time… Tonight is different though… He’s serious about commiting suicide… And quite frankly, I don’t give a flying fuck anymore… Go and hang yourself, you pathetic drunk asshole… Old violent and manipulative ************… He wanted my mom to have an abortion when she was pregnant with me, then, he rejected me as […]

12/20/2014 2 comments

I never asked for this

by DepartedJustice 12/20/2014

written by DepartedJustice

Why? Why me? Thats something ive been asking myself for a long time. Now i know im nothing special, theres probably millions of other depressed trans kids wanting to kill themselves. I just personally cant stand this. The waking up every morning and seeing that disgusting wrong body. I am nothing but a pathetic girl who wants to be a boy who cant even wear a feminine shirt without being physically uncomfortable, a fraud who portrays themselves as someone who is fine, who doesnt cry. But i cry almost every fucking night. Im crying right now. Crying over the disgusting body i can only change […]

12/20/2014 2 comments

Medic: The end of my career

by MoreyPiya 12/19/2014

written by MoreyPiya

I am a medical student with a history of mental health issues which began when I was a child. I have always been truthful with my mental health problems with my medical school, believing that through being transparent, they would be able to support me fully. Last year I was sectioned under the Mental Health Act (I was forced to go into a psychiatric hospital against my will), and once I was discharged, I stupidly informed my medical school.

Since I informed them, I feel like I am being punished. Everything was automatically shut down; I was told that I was not allowed to return to […]

12/19/2014 7 comments

Living Without Religion

by Grimalkin 12/19/2014

written by Grimalkin

I was raised in a Muslim family.. so naturally my parents taught me everything that I need to be taught to be a good Muslim, there was no room for me to make a choice about what I want to believe in, it was obvious that I will be leading my life based on what God wrote in the holy book.

In my teenage time I started noticing that some of the practices in religion contradicted what I think is right! So I begun making up explanations about what my religion is all about, trying to make it fit my principles, but I was obviously just making excuses, […]

12/19/2014 8 comments

Hopes shattered, pieces missing.

by nias 12/19/2014

written by nias

Is this all my life will be: broken dreams, loneliness, pain and fear. I once had such high hopes, now I’m an embarrassment, I’m worthless trash.
All I want is to hold you, to love you, to protect you, it’s all Angela, my angel. You screwed me, you used me, now I’ve fallen apart, if only I’d known you’d do that, but I was caught up in love. Feel broken, death now awaits, do you even care, your life was all that mattered. You treated me like you were ashamed of me, you were ashamed, that’s clear, such damaged you caused me, such a worthless […]

12/19/2014 6 comments

I’m guessing I’m meant to be alone

by Jimmie_Rustler 12/18/2014

written by Jimmie_Rustler

See, after the last girl that seemed crazy about me turned me down and wanted to be friends (and I was stupid enough to believe things would be different this time) I want to know, how do I get a girlfriend? Should I just make my standards so low I can’t possibly get rejected? Just go for people with no self-esteem and don’t actually look like girls to begin with? Is that the key, just have no standards whatsoever? Or should I just say screw it and end my life, because I’m sick of this.

12/18/2014 13 comments

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