When that one feeling comes back, where you feel like your too worthless to be cared about but there has to be someone out there that can help cant there and there must be hope somewhere i just cant help but think that i am some useless amd worthless hore that needs to be killed or should of done suicide when i had the chance just sitting in my room crying and replaying in my head how shit my life has been no one round no one to look after me. How am i supposed to carry on when i feel like shit in the […]
Tag:
my life
im 17 years old have no future no money no one who loves or cares about me what reason do I have to go on with my life? Sometimes I just wished I was never born and was already gone.
Happiness. A word. I feel it at times, I feel a lack of it at others. I’m not always sure which one defines the word. I have been feeling as though happiness is making me feel empty lately. Maybe this isn’t happiness then. But why do I long for the hopelessness I fought so hard to escape from? Perhaps I never truly escaped. Perhaps this is just a masquerade of emotions to trick myself into living to fight another day.
Do I know who I am? Does anyone? Am I anyone? These are real questions for me. I have four distinct versions of myself. Family, girlfriend, […]
This is just one part of my life that is causing me pain. I used to describe my self as kind, sweet, and caring. Now I describe myself as a slut and a liar. I just turned 19 and I lost my virginity two months ago. That wouldn’t be so bad except that I’ve already slept with three guys in those two months. I usually don’t have sex sober, way too insecure about my scars. Now onto the liar part. My relationship with the second guy, lets call him Jeff, is friends with benefits but we both said that we wouldn’t sleep with other people. […]
Why am I here on this planet? I hate being alive, I hate waking up each morning. Why am I here!? Why did God put me on this Earth? Why am I always so sad? I don’t deserve to be here, I’m an awful person. I’ve done nothing good so far in my life. I’ve only caused pain. Pain to the ones who care about me and love me. Why do I hurt the ones I love? I wish God would have given my healthy body to someone who is sick and dieing. They deserve it. I’m not doing anything good to my 16 year […]
People say suicide is selfish because of all the people it hurts. Well I want to know how those who care expecting me to endure the pain that is my life is not selfish on their part. Do they not believe the extent or severity of the pain in my life? There has to be a point that they understand I have no hope or will to live another and that without ending my life I am suffering far more than they will endure from my absence. This theory, or social convention, or whatever it is is bullshit. Suicide is my choice and if anyone […]
Wiki Social Avoidant Personality Disorder & there’s my life.
I have a genetic predisposition to social anxiety, as my dad told me he almost joined a monastery for this reason. I have early childhood emotional neglect from physical abuse, verbal abuse, & hours of forced solitude. Absent father, he was going to college. I have extreme peer group rejection, lost almost all my highschool friends right after due to an incident with ecstasy.
Everyone thinks I look OK. That’s because I’m good looking, I’m healthy because I know cardio & lifting reduces stress, as I have anger problems thanks to both genetics & upbringing again. I’m great […]
My life seems great looking from the outside in. I have a nice looking family with comfortable living expenses, three cars, and a nice house. But honestly my emotions have taken a toll on my life. Growing up I’ve stolen and lied numerous times and basically I’m just a terrible person. Some may say I deserve it.
Parents divorced, I live with my mom. And since then she’s been meaner and meaner, boyfriend by boyfriend. Now she’s married and doesn’t care for me. Being an asian parent, she’s abused me. Laying a hand on your own child is considered abuse even if it’s just a spank. […]
I am only 5’5″ tall, which is really short for an 18 yrs old male like me. Almost everyone, including girls that I would like to date are much taller than me. I am always ashamed when I am around people. People never take me seriously and I have been bullied and insulted because of my height many times. It amazes me to see that how many people are complete jackasses who judge people by their appearances. It is as if it is taught to them that short people aren’t people, they have no feelings, you can insult and bully them to for sick plesure […]
I am a high school senior. I have anticipated this moment since grade school, when my loving parents emphasized how school was my number one priority. It supposedly was supposed to make me get ahead of everyone. But now I’ve realized that’s a lie. I used to be so quiet and focused on schoolwork. Now I don’t shut up in class. I’m funny; I like jokes. I’m terribly blunt and say inappropriate things I immediately regret. My grades are dropping even though I’m trying so hard. My boyfriend insists everyone feels how tough it is this year, and I’m sure they do, but I feel […]
Few weeks ago I stumbled on this website while researching on how to commit suicide and different ways to do so. I was in a very dark place in my life where I felt like suicide was the way to go.
I have felt emotionally depressed over a year ago when my boyfriend at the time and I broke up. At the time, I felt like the whole world was crashing down. I started to fail dramatically in school by not attending classes and not paying attention. I never had good relationship with my family because I was always a disappointment to them (no I didn’t just […]
I feel so hopeless in life…it always feels like the same thing everyday, I’ve given up all hope, really what is there for me to live for the “friends” who make me feel invisible? The family who could care less about me? Everything that i loved about my life is gone i literally do nothing anymore…How could nobody notice how much i have changed in the past 4 years…depression got the best of me and I honestly don’t know if i will ever be okay again. All I want is to genuinely happy for just one day none of this fake bs anymore…
I wish I could literally just explode sometimes. People suck truly, we are stupid, naive, selfish beings. And there are people in this world that are aware they are like that and they are perfectly ok with it. I keep having dreams of my ex just these terrible dreams and I wake up feeling the pain from those dreams. There’s things that remind me of us, of him and it makes me angry and hurts me inside. I want so badly to be ok, im tired of the pain of feeling like death would be better than life. I don’t want the bad people in […]
I don’t know how to. How do you just spill out the contents of a bottle that has been filling up for the past few years? The nightmare I’ve been so afraid of, is finally here.
It won’t be easy to pour out everything. I’ve gotten so used to storing this within me, it’s part of my life already. Oh how I wish I could tell you. But I don’t know how to. I suck. I really do. I am sorry.
Hello, I am 15. I am suicidal, I guess. I don’t want to die, but I know I should. I feel the need deep within me. Basicly, I’m gonna spare the details. I am a liar. A big one. I lie about everything. Whether it be how I’m feeling, or what I’m doing, or my life as a whole. These fantasys I create, make me seem interesting. They make me feel like my life isn’t just a drop in the ocean. Ie: I have made up a story about how I used to drink alot, and sleep around. Which is only parcially true. I’ve had […]
In april this year, I attempted suicide.
I was broke living on the streets for about 2 months in the philippines at the age of 36. Got burnt by friends and lied to by others and was left to fend for myself.
I then found refuge in a slum but having to rely on people that would spend less than 2 dollars in one day the guilt and burden was all too much.
The fact that I suffer from depression and couldnt but any medication played its part too. So many attempts to call home and ask for help fell on deaf ears. The sad […]
This is my first time using a site like this, i have always felt weak if i tried getting help, i have had depression for 7 years. I have been able to control my bad thoughts most of this time with distraction methods, this only works so much of the time, when I’m at my lowest nothing can distract me from the pain i feel, i struggle to put in to words what it is that makes me feel this way.
The main cause i suppose is my life being an absolute mess, everything i do goes wrong, every time i try and make my life […]
I have been under constant monetary stress since i was 12. I always felt it was my responsibility to be a breadwinner. Every happy moment, every sad moment was suffocated by this false responsibility. now i feel like ii cant live without it. The second my life returns to some amount of safety, security , and normalcy i spiral into a depression. I hurt myself or get hurt by others until I’m back in some impossible situation.
I should just end it now, its apparent that I will only serve to make those around me miserable. It’s apparent im incapable of a normal life. Ive been […]
It all feels like a dream right now, like I am no really living, but at the same time I see everything as clear as the day. And it scares me how much I want to end my life when one of my greatest fears is living. I don’t think any of my friends understand how much I am going through.
I want them to understand, I want them to help me, but I know that they can’t because I can even help myself out of all of this. My mom doesn’t believe me when I told her that I might be depressed, she wouldn’t even […]
I’m going to jump off a building. My life isn’t even in shambles, which makes me hate myself even more. I got handed what I thought was my dream job. I can’t Handel it, and hate it. I have no backup plan or motivation. All my jobs have been luck, I’m stupid and have no actual skills, hobbies or dreams for the future. Pathetic. All my friends work for the company and I can’t quit. There is no leaving on good terms. I’ve been depressed for months. Can’t stop sleeping. Miserable to be around. Everyone’s advice is to keep trying and figure it out. I’m […]