I’ve had ONE suicide attempt… only one. I was a strategically thought out plan, that I thought would work. Obviously it failed because I’m here typing this now. I’m not going to go into the detail of my attempt but I will say I’m 5’3 and weigh 110lbs and took 800mg of Benadryl it was 32 pills… i had 68 in the bottle… I kinda hate myself for not taking the whole bottle, but with all the research I did I REALLY wasn’t expecting to wake up the next morning, and I’m lucky I did. I almost had a a stroke, 18 years old and […]
Tag:
my life
So you think you have had a bad life? Well let me give you some insight on what a bad life is…I was conceived by a teenage girl with a teenage boy, of whom she does not know who my father may be. She had planned on having me in her bedroom closet, and then who knows what would have happened to me.
After discovering that my egg donor was pregnant, my grandparents forced her give put me up for adoption.
I cant ant say anything really terrible while I was a child, other than being molested by my “brother”.
I was a rather strong willed child, with […]
I’ve been dealing with depression for most of my life. Add to that a schizoaffective diagnosis and life becomes wonderful. I’m struggling. I’m on the verge of becoming a shut-in because I’m paranoid and feel people are after me. I’m not a bad person but this illness brings out my paranoia and it’s ruling me.
I don’t know how to go on like this. I’m on meds and getting “help” but its not enough. I feel like there’s no point to life & it’s hopeless. Who wants to live like this? Certainly not me. The issue is, some would say its good; too chicken to suicide. […]
I dropped out of grad school at the end of last year. I moved home and worked there on farms for a while until I could find more permanent work. I found a new job. I just started this week and I am hating life. Whenever I have a big transition in my life (like moving to a new area) I have a very difficult time. Work is always on my mind. When I’m at work, I feel like I’m not doing a good enough job. When I’m home, I think about how my bosses are disappointed in me even though there’s no reason to […]
I haven’t been on in a while nor have I written anything in quite sometime. I don’t know exactly why, but I just haven’t. My life has taken a turn and it seems to be a positive one for a chance. I fell in love despite my best efforts. It was quick. I knew as soon as I saw him and talked to him it was over. POW! Head-over-heels in love. He means everything to me, essentially he is my life. We moved in together and it seems to be working out. Honestly the biggest change in my life is that I am about 4 […]
The last two month’s have been the worse month’s of my life. I have destroyed my master’s degree, relationship with parents and have no friends around me, all for stupid, pathetic, childish reasons and obsessions. Will my end be suicide ?: I doubt it. However, I will be running away, at least. I was obviously born with a defect. I seldom know what else to say– I have merely destroy my self; another dust in the wind, taken away, thrown into the depths of nothingness.
Goodbye everyone.
I will be killing myself. This is not a debate and I am certainly not interested in hotlines or psychiatrists. I came to this site for advice on how to go about this. I know how the act will be done, that is set in stone. My concern is over suicide notes, I am choosing to end my life for my own reasons. I am aware I am well loved and I love all of those people back, but this decision was made for me. Therefore I feel the urge to leave a suicide note. I do not know what to include in this note […]
Recently I decided to take matters into my own hands and end my life. I’ve set the date (New Years Eve) the time and the place. I have even decided who I want to be present. The thing is, I am not actually that suicidal. I just understand that I have no further use on this planet. More people need to come to this realization. I have been kicked out of school and have a pretty crappy future because of a lack of new options for my life. I’m far too intelligent to work at McDonald’s or Wendy’s forever and quite frankly it is beneath […]
Obviously my name isn’t hunter s, but he is a man i admire and whose writing has helped me immensely through the years. i should start by saying that i’m not here to write my suicide note. not yet at least. i’m here because i’m broken. i have almost nothing left to lose (i say almost because i’m still alive, sort of..) and no reason to live but no reason to die. I’m here because my heart is broken the venom from all the shit people i call friends and family has been building up and burning my insides for so long that its finally […]
Half an hour and I’ll be 25.
Anything could happen tomorrow. Will anyone put some light in my life? I hope so, I’m kind of confident that good things will happen. But I know what happens when you expect too much for your birthday.
Oh, there’s also that… tomorrow will have past a year since the last message I received from my dad. Will he at least let me know that he’s alive? If he does, will he be nice, or just as asshole as he was last year?
Waking up from a failed suicide attempt is one of the worst feelings I have experienced in my life. Twice. Why can’t I just die? I would gladly give my life to save someone else if I could.
Sometimes I wish that I didn’t exist. Nothing in my life seems to ever be going right anymore. I wish my life was over all the time. I don’t think about suicide as much anymore, and I haven’t tried in 7 months to kill or otherwisebharm myself, but I still wish I were dead.
Everything was fine until a couple years ago, and now I seem to be in a downward spiral I can’t get out of. I’m an 18 year old girl and most of my life has been pretty tough.
A couple years ago, I got my first job. It wasn’t the best job, but […]
I haven’t been on here in a while… OK so 4 weeks ago we (me, my mom and 2 brothers) left our house. My mom’s boyfriend was back in drugs and was drinking every night and coming home and would fight with my mom. He got into a fight with the neighbor and the neighbor busted his head open, My mom had enough. So we left and have literally been staying wherever. It was really hard, especially when trying to do your school work and try to get the thought out of your head that you don’t have a home, and friends would make fun […]
This world is really… How should I put it? Bland? Complicated? Most of my life is spent just living like a robot doing what’s expected of me and kind of just… not really connected to my body. Like I’m not really all that there.
I don’t know what I even want to do in life or why was I even born in the first place. Honestly, I feel like I’m useless. I don’t have any skills worth talking about, a coward and I’m socially awkward. I basically just there taking up space.
I hate my current job, it pays so little, and the union itself took a […]
“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
Hey. I’m currently stuck in my mid teens somewhere in the green hills of sunny old England. And I want to die.
For years now, I have been diagnosed with depression. I feel it probably has been constant in my life, after suffering abuse at the hands of my brother, then having to care for my mother while my father worked long shifts (he is always quite submissive, meaning he had to work far into the nights, often until 11pm). First of all, I tried to go on alone, with fairly minimal support. Then I made two attempts on […]
hi, I’m new to this page and I never would’ve expected myself to end up on it either. I’m 17, and I have what you would call an “easy life” but it’s anything but easy. Ive been feeling like crying all the time. I’ve tried against my life 6 times and every time I feel like I’m finally going to do it someone comes in and stops me. I’m honestly so done with the life I’m living and I’m tired of all the stress and people just judging all the time. I feel like everything would be better if I was dead. I’ll finally be […]
Today in therapy I learned a few things about myself. As a child, I was never taught kindness, or how to love. I raised myself and my little brother. My mom was always sleeping, or couldn’t care less. The little she did for us, some cooking and laundry, she’d complain about, scream about it. She is a ticking time bomb we’d have to tiptoe around, avoiding the next explosion. As unpredictable as she is, it somehow was always my fault, she was never in the wrong. What could a 4 year old have done to have my mom scream at me every day before school? […]
I am so sorry. I know I should not have done it, but I couldn’t live like this anymore. It’s nothing anybody did. It’s all my fault. I love you guys, I love everyone in my life, but the pain I’ve been going through is just to much and I can’t picture myself ever getting better or happy again. Thank you for everything you have done. It really did stick and it did mean something. I just can’t continue on living the way I was feeling. I love you all so much and I am so sorry, I really am. I have to do this, It’s […]
I am a married father of 3, in my mid 30’s. I’m not here for help, hope, sympathy, empathy, or support. I just need a place to chronicle this slide. I’ve been in some dark places before but I think this one has been the longest and darkest (more than a year now). There have been some short interruptions, which is why I am probably still here. These interruptions aren’t times of happiness, just times of neutrality. Speaking of happiness, I don’t know if I’ve ever had a even one true moment of happiness in my life. I’ve had moments of excitement, but I don’t […]
If I can ask you to take a moment and answer my question, it would really help. My life up to where I am has not been good to me so far. I am a 17 year old male who and have been depressed for most of my life since I was little. I dont show that i am extremely sad and so I am a jokester to most of my “friends” and family. And the reason I say “friends” is because for all my life no one has had my back when push came to shove. I have not had a girlfriend or have […]