I’m an upper middle class perfectionist who has it all together on the outside. If anyone knew how much I hated myself I’m sure they’d be surprised. No, I’m not popular or the prettiest girl in school but I’m not an outcast, I’ve got a good friend group, I make straight A’s, I’m on the soccer team and track team, and I drive a nice car. But lots of little things put together have had me on a downward spiral for a while now. I suffer from severe depression. I have wanted to die. I have thought a lot about killing myself. I just want to die. […]
Yeah. Silly silly me. Why give away your trust so easily every single time? You trust people so easily. Is this what you want? Every single time, to be hurt by people. Is this the life you want, the life you’re willing to live. Steel your heart and conceal. You are not worth their time. Lies. Lies. Lies.
Shut up you incompetent fool. You are a worthless piece of shit. No one will give a duck about you. Stop trying to mix with humans. You do not belong here. Leave. Be like a ghost. Yeah.
Yeah. Yep. That would be the last straw. Disappear from this reality. […]
I want a mom, a mom who cares for me a mom who loves me, i just need support from her, caring and loving that’s all i want. Someone who can just sit around tell me how much there proud of me, someone who looks at me like i was worth something, someone who believes and me and that don’t trow me away like a piece of shit over school grades… Mom what did i ever did to you, i’m sorry i was born, i’m so sorry, i know you regrets it, you’ve told me so many times, i see it, i know it, Mom […]
I am fairly new here. I found this website in my darkest days and I am not sure if it is gonna make everything better or worse but it is good to read people’s experiences and have a chance to help them. I can say that I have survived and strayed from the darkest version of myself. I hope I can help you also! I am here when you need me. I mean it.
Hey I’m fairly new here. But I want people to know that I am here for any of you.
I recently came to the conclusion, maybe I don’t need to end my life I just need a new one. How would this work?
Get separated.
Move.
Use gov. assistance to pay for daycare & actually get a degree and job.
Actually stand on my own for once.
Well, f!ck me apparently. There’s really not such a thing as separation in Nebraska. I would still have to do all the steps for a divorce, which I can’t afford and neither can my husband. I’m stuck in a marriage I don’t want to be in. I have been screwing another guy for 6 months now…..I don’t think I could want any […]
I gave myself one week for me to change my mind, and to not execute my plan to attempt suicide. The day that I planned to execute my plan, and end my life was Friday. I told myself that if anyone showed that they actually cared about me, or if someone gave me a reason to live that I wouldn’t end my life. One of my ex-college professors called my cell phone this weekend. He asked if I was okay, and said that I seemed troubled the last time that he talked to me. I immediately tried to reassure him […]
We fall, me, atomically
The way of Labyrinth
I fall, drown, upside-down
Everlast to evermore, abyss
I am here but I don’t know who you are
The only counting the flower, the truth
The gold, the gold, the gold, black-heart
Double-H-Etch, I need the light and shady
I don’t need to, magnetic-rock, wizard
Take me to the wood, celestial
Shower in cold beer
Chained, albatross-protector
Aquarius
Fish
Black
White-Skull
2014 A.D.
Rotting-death
Magus
Sacred-Clown
Elephant-death
Will I ever breathe
Undead
i can’t stop crying. the thoughts are never going to go away.
i question why i feel this way because i have it way better than most people do,
i have a home , a bed , clothes , food , but i just feel so shitty and utterly worthless.
im afraid that im just gunna fail in life and what sucks the most is i have nobody.
i dont need friends but sometimes its just nice to have someone to understand you and
just listen. being alone just sucks.
Fuck. I don’t have a drop of spit left in me. I knew when I lost my job a month ago that I would need more energy to turn things around but I am sinking fast. I decided to forget about pounding the pavement for another I.T. job and start looking for freelance recording and voice-over gigs. This I can do from home and I have all the hardware I need and I have the chops to do it.
The problem is I still need to get organized, refresh my skills and dig everything out of the closet to get set up. But I am just […]
Remember, Xmas will be here soon….. let me know if you need my size. Seriously, this is how I cope, sometimes:
I have been ready to “check out” if you will for the last fourteen years of my life. I feel that I have so much to say but have lost the desire to speak. The only reason that I am still here is because I can’t muster the strength to try again due to the fear of not being successful. I wish there were a way to put my worries at ease although I know that is an impossible need to fulfill.
It never fails to get me. The feeling of guilt. I run, leaving those lonely ones behind. I just don’t wanna be a witness to seeing them so miserable. I know they need me, but I don’t know what I can do. So I run, hoping for a temporary cure to these feelings. But then guilt comes up, and stabs you through your heart, “Why did you run? Why did you leave them alone? How could you!? You’re so selfish.”
i know how im going to do it its just a matter of getting the materials without raising suspicion. after i have everything i need in hand im gone. though its going to take some time.
You ever get tired of listening to advice that leaves you stranded on your own, doing battle against the pain in the darkness? Advice like “you gotta do it for yourself and not anyone else”
“no pain, no gain”
Even phrases like “have faith” can be conflicting, lonely and long if you are truly left on your own. Depending who you are of course.
People have been shoving that shit down my throat my whole life. “Don’t do it for anyone but yourself”
“You gotta live for you”
I don’t need to explain to some of you out there, that sometimes doing it on […]
Lately things have been going haywire for the past few months, and I have finally reached the point where I’m ready to seek help. However things are a bit complicated… and I am unable to receive the help I am quite in desperate need of right now…
I have been depressed for well over a decade to varying extents. Double depression has become somewhat of a norm, I suppose. There have been many times over this period where I have thought I have reached my ‘absolute’ low – and now is certainly not one of them.
Things have just gotten out of control… so much so that […]
Hey guys, If you need to talk about something or just wanna have a nice conversation. You can talk to me my kik is kewlcat_30 or email me my email is xXshortroundXx.cw@gmail.com
StruggleOn here! Part fennec fox and part dead again. And I have nowhere to trust but here so…
Shit has been going on. Its all just bullshit though. You know when you try so hard for somebody but nothing makes them better? That’s kind of how this is. I don’t even care if it helps I just need it to be accepted. Again and again I am beat down. Hopelesness once again engulfed me. Now I’m stuck. I feel helpless and confused and wonder if I’ll ever deserve somebodies love…
I don’t want to kill myself..I want to live my life and be happy. I’m trying so hard to hold it together but I’m fucking it all up. I have so much to live for it shouldn’t be this fucking hard to stand confident.
I finally met this beautiful girl that likes me and wants to spend time and she’s already catching on to my depression. I’ve shown enough good parts of myself to make her see I’m a great guy but I literally can’t control the way I feel when I’m all alone. I’m fucking this all up. No, No this can’t be me..it […]
Everyone tells me that I’m so lucky, so smart, so attractive. I have everything apparently. But there’s more to life than that superficial crap. In life you need only one thing: a place to belong. This is the thing that I don’t have.
I had a bunch of friends that I thought cared about me. I was wrong. They all stabbed me in the back. I asked them to go easy on me because I thought I was becoming depressed. They told me to grow up. Depression is for children, apparently. Anti-depressants only make me sleepy. I guess the objective is to just sleep your life […]