Taken from Robert Crumb’s Plunge Into The Depths Of Despair (1983)
And if anyone wants these comic strips in a PDF form:
I just watched a Let’s Play of Nevermind and it was interesting. It’s a game that uses biofeedback and the developer(s) want to expand it so it can help people with stress and anxiety-related illness. The game got me thinking about “perfect worlds” but I know there is no such thing as a “perfect world.”Instead, I want to pose a different question to everyone… What is your definition of an imperfect, perfect utopia? My utopia is one where mental illness and disease didn’t exist. Granted people will die in it but it won’t be by one’s own hands or by a fatal disease… It would be by time where everyone goes in their sleep.
It’s been a while since I’ve been on. I didn’t blow my brain out as soon as I was planning. Which turns out to be one of the worst mistakes of my life. I met a girl, and as hard as I tried to not let my guard down, she got past it and actually tricked me into trusting her. Then, after a few dates and saying that she wanted us to be a couple, she basically said, “Nevermind,” on the day of what would have been our fourth date. I fucking hate life, there’s no fucking justification for all of this bullshit.
As you can see I’m still here.I’m doing worser than I was the last time I came on.On the bright side right now when I was trying to get the razor outta the shave thingy I cut the shit out of my thumb!!Talk about bleeding,not In the mode to cut anymore.Does anyone even care??Is anyone even reading this??If SP had followers would I even have edleast five followers??Nope.I “never” have nothing Important to say.Who the fuck Is Carlos??Am I the only one who says there name on here??See what I mean,nothing Important.Dude I’m just another face feeding these uglys out here,why you think I’m up so late.Gone off Xanax bars don’t even know,even care what’s going on.Gimmie my twenties & let me pop my bars & I’m straight.Ill stay.No money In my pocket,no bars,fuck that I gotta try again.Being sober Isen’t keeping me here.Fuck reality.
i have scars. yeah, they’re pretty bad. all up my arms and legs. But they serve a nice purpose. they remind not to do dumb shit like trust anyone, or believe there is hope, or even believe in general. they remind me that life is one big game of lies, of which, i lose. They remind me that life is like a funhouse mirror, you think everything is perfect until you step in front of one. and then BAM! everything just goes wack. so yeah, I wear black. “typical emo” though right? (*bastards*) I wear black to remind me that everyday is a day to mourn the birth of myself, that everyday is a day without my friends who died (*suicide’s a ******) I wear black cause I can.
Now for the one question that EVERYONE who knows me wants to know: “what’s an emo?”
well, if you weren’t so narrow minded, you’d know that emo is a shortened version of emotional. so, an emo is someone who has a lot of emotions. people get emo[tional] confused with depressed or bi-polar. emo[tional] is completly different, and really. to be honest, I don’t like to be considered emo[tional] but i am a hormonal thirteen year old girl, i mean c’mon. I gonna get mood swings. (*like as if i were on a swing at that one park i used to hang out at with……..nevermind…*) Probably no one will read this. No one ever reads my posts unles their eyes wander from the other posts. and if you do read this. have fun getting back the last however many minutes you spent reading this.
I am 15 and from Brazil. I think this post is gonna beÂ long, but I ask you to read it.
The point of my post is not sharing my self-harming story. But let’s start with it.
The time was 2011. I had some problems with people. Actually, people were my problem.
These Internet fads were rising at that time, in my country. Not only that, I was 13,Â that moment when we start to grow up and realize how people are essentially stupid. Hate consumed me bit by bit. I didn’t want to go to school anymore, I didn’t want to leave my house, because I knew I would have to look into those eyes I hated so much. I know I would have to seeÂ brainless people, who had no ideals, no morality, didn’t think by themselves, and only lived to get social approval. I hated society more and more, and felt alone because I knew nobody would understand me. All my friends had their own friends and simply forgot about me. I remember a sentence I wrote one day: “I feel I’m the second option even when the third is available.” I would never tell anyone about what and how I felt.Â If I did, they would take me to some psychologist and consider me as a psycho.Â I just didn’t want to see anybody for the rest of my whole life.
All I wanted to do is what I used to do everyday; get home, lock myself into the bathroom and play my favorite album, “Nevermind” by Nirvana, while I cried and tried to hurt myself. And I did it for hours. With a knife, I cut my arms, my wrist and my legs, but (unfortunately, I would think) I never could bleed with it. I think I never held it strongly enough; anyway, I used to do something wrong because the cuts never got to really bleed. This is all I could ever get:
The yearning for the end faded away with time.
Actually, I still feel this. I hate being in crowds. But I stopped thinking about killing myself.
When I’m bad, I get my earpiece on, raise the volumes and listen to some Children Of Bodom with my closed eyes. It all goes away.
But I know it can’t help everyone. It’s not the point anyway.
So, I hate thinking that there are other young people passing through what I passed. Life is everything, whether you see it or not, and I know that there are people who don’t see. I know what you might be thinking; if some loving-life-jerk would tell me that life is good while I hated it, I would just ignore. But I beg you to don’t. I know it’s hard to listen to someone in these hard times when you think about ending your own life, or even worse, someone who you don’t even know. But I want to help, because when I think of people crying for the rudeness of life, I feel a razor cutting my heart from the inside. I want to help you. I know how it is to feel unwanted and forgotten.
So girls (and boys too, if you think a girl can help you), if you want a friend to talk to about how you feel or giving advices, anything, just someone who will be there for you even virtually, I have a Kik Messenger account and you can (and must! :P) contact me. My username is “SkullGold”. For the ones who don’t have an account yet, I could recommend it to you, it’s a wonderful communication tool.Â You can download the app through App Store or Android/Google Play Market.
Please, add me on there. I give you a personal promise that I will try my best to make you feel better. Or whatever you want from a friend, I will be there.
Thanks for reading and I’m waiting for your message,