Just wanted to let everyone know that I’m really thankful I found this place. I feel I can relate to a lot of other people here and it makes me feel a lot less alone. This is the one place where I don’t have to keep my secret and I can really be myself and no one will try to change that. I’m just appreciated and excepted. Thanks all!
Tag:
no one
In short i have a crazy mother no one can get to her when shes angry…
my mother doesnt care about anything else other than numbers….
i want to talk to her but i never could….
she doesnt care….
so why should i?….
i dont know what to do i am literally in a life or death limbo right now…
i will admit i really want attention but not from everyone but maybe just one friend?
i tried again today, but i still didnt cut deep enough. one day ill get it done i just have to keep working up the courage. i cant live like this anymore and no one will help me, people just want to make it worse. nothing else is really on my mind just plans to commit suicide. i have three, 2 i can work on while im here. one i have till the end of the month, then i wont have a choice (like i ever did). i cant go back to that place i have to die, because i know i cant stay here. i […]
I just cant go on.
I cant feel anything and i dont want to feel anything.
I feel worthless and hopeless.
I have no one to talk to and i dont even know if i want to talk to anyone.
I just cant go on…
I’m just so tired.
I never had that feeling . The need to die. I always cope with things, and pretend everything is okay but it’s not. I’m having a fight with my best friend. Everything in my life is so fake. My friends are fake and i hate my body so much. I have literally no one to talk to. My dad is somewhere around the world with his girlfriend and mom is working all the time. My birthday is coming up this Friday and i feel so depressed and lonely.
Someone wrote here, “i wish i could achieve the peace of death without […]
This is my first post on this site so I am not used to this type of thing. Getting to the initial point, I was always the outcast in my home town, by both my family and in high school. Everyone else at school was happy and I never was able to make any friends through my 4 years. I told my family about this and they told me that it was me, I was called antisocial and a loser and all that. I believed them, I still do to this day. I don’t want to go into all the details of what went down […]
my thoughts are exhausting me and I don’t have the strength to function properly to get through this day. But I can’t skip this day either, I have an important dance showing I have to attend and I have to figure out how to get up enough courage to fake that I’m okay during the time I have to be around people. I’m already skipping two classes right now, and I had to leave half way through my dance class this morning because I couldn’t stop crying long enough to dance. I failed my Dance History exam and I’m starting to get really discouraged again, […]
I recently looked up a particular symptom I’ve had for about 5 months. All these random health sites list the same boring possible causes, as well as several cancers that could cause it. Not many people would feel the same but I’d be really relieved if it was cancer. Especially if it was advanced. I could quit school, quit my job, quit everything, and live out the rest of my days however I want with no one blaming me for anything. Most likely just wishful thinking though. The symptom will probably alleviate itself in time and turn out to be nothing. But I can dream, can’t I?
It’s omniscient to watch all the people close to you drift away. Those that keep yourself together move apart, they reveal all your cracks and damages. And who would want to be around damaged goods? Who has the time, the energy, the effort to give a damn. The world is not full of those who repair broken antiques and beauty. No one is willing or able at the same time to lend both their hands to hold a half of you in each. It doesn’t matter how penitent you are, no matter how generously you try, there isn’t much of a hope that someone will […]
Sitting at work and having it hit me, how can I be so disgusting, so gross, so untouchable? Just thinking of things I can’t really get in to here, but of course it concerns the guy I love. Why’d he ask me long ago if I could be friends with benefits if the thought of the slightest touch of me is so gross and disgusting? And why in the hell do I have to be the ugliest person in the world? Why couldn’t it be someone else?!! What the fuck did I do to deserve being so fucking gross and ugly?!?
But also, I think I […]
My life is going on a different track…not how i expected…! My bestie tried to ruin my life…i just can’t imagine someone doing that to anyone…friends are to support you and give you their shoulder to shed your tears on…friends are to walk with you in your difficult times and everyone knows that no one can understand us better than our friends…but what if that friend betrays you and stabs behind your back…??? i don’t think anyone deserves a friend like mine…she betrayed me just because of jealousy…its so sad to hear that your own friends are jealous of you and not happy to see […]
I wanted to talk about something im having a problem with…friendship. I have one friend i’ve known her for most of my life she’s really great. We got into a fight over a rumor passed around school that I was messing around with her boyfriend. She beileved the rumors and said alot of hurtful things like, go cut yourself and no one loves you. She knows i harm myself its a sore spot for me and i instantly started crying. This happened during school so it drawed in a crowd and i felt like my whole world was crumbling around me. As if ive […]
Everyone tries to make me feel as if I’m crazy.
I can’t even talk to my husband because he looks at me like if I were an idiot.
Every time I try to be happy I end up crying and hating myself more than before I wish I knew what to do. As of this moment all I can remember that kept me sane was being a teen and cutting myself because no one was there to judge or tell me I was crazy. I’ve literally just started cutting myself because I just want this pain and sorry feeling to stop!
I cut myself knowing fully I want attention. Not just for that though. To release that endorphin to feel calm and relaxed and at peace with the world. I cut today to push on them through out the next few days to remember how little I’m loved. If I remember no one loves me then I wont ever get my hopes up to have them crushed
…how one person can affect your life so much. I pride myself in being a strong person. I always have been. No one’s words have ever hurt me. Except… for one person. He broke my heart, left me with nothing. Called me names. Said I wasted months of his life. I found that he was the one person whom I can’t fight. He’s also the one person that can make me hurt like no one else can. He’s also the only person that can make me feel weak. It’s not healthy to have him in my life. That much I’ve figured out. But I’ve also […]
My story started when I went to high school. Everybody thought it was a fantastic place, well… not for me. It was a fiery pit of nothing. Nobody liked me and I didn’t like anybody, I was a loner. I was constantly bullied but the bullies didn’t realize they were bullying me. To them it was teasing, it’s not teasing when someone’s feelings get hurt. Then again being a teenage girl, it doesn’t take much to hurt my feelings. Anyway, I kept getting “teased” and one day I walked out of my classroom and ran into the girls’ bathroom. Unfortunately I was found by the […]
I almost got a blessing today, but that almost blessing went away fast. I’m going to go to jail today most likely. I’m in a really bad spot and no one is going to help me I’m on my own. I have no choice. I’m going to be alone. I just have one more thing to say don’t true anyone people are evil they hurt you every chance you get especially when they see that you are down they will just make its worse. Just when I started be living in god again I punched in the face again.
Have you ever been so sick that you couldn’t be around the people you love?
Have you ever been so sick that lifting your head up off the pillow takes everything you have?
Have you ever been so sick that every moment away from someone sends you spiraling back to that place you were at when her father took his life?
Have you ever been in a relationship with a man that took on his role but doesn’t want to hear you talk about these things?
Have you ever had no one, literally, to talk to?
All your friends are gone.
Your parents think you should be over it.
He doesn’t want […]
Yeah, I’ve been feeling that way lately. I’m afraid of getting kicked out of the place I just moved in to. Reasons? I know I’m renting from a neat freak and I’m not really filthy but I don’t have the energy to keep it looking like Merry Maids are on call either. I did something dumb that made a mess and now a rug needs washed, and I don’t have the energy to spend 4 hours after work on the slow washer & dryer in the basement. I feel like I shouldn’t be doing stupid shit like that and somehow, even though most […]
With All of My Love………………….
Its better this way, it really is. I don’t think I will ever be able to explain how pain filled, lonely and useless I have been for so many years. Living is a complete hell for me.
No one I know would wish such pain on an animal they love and, would indeed, put the poor thing out of its misery. It would be selfish to compel it to go on living. If any of you ever have to experience this deep misery, you may, at last understand it takes courage to go against the natural inclination to live and thrive. The […]