First, there’s no such thing as a new person saying “I don’t know where to begin.” There is no place to begin, so saying that in your post means you’re overcompensating for using a different email. Second, if you talk about things that are not real, like buying happy pills or your fucking job, then you lose all credibility here. Third, every single person on earth hears voices it’s just that some people who love to judge and label things because they are afraid of not knowing things label and judge their voices to be somehow more special than self proclaimed normal people. The voice […]
If you’re on this website, I genuinely feel for you.
If you’re suicidal, I genuinely feel for you.
I never used to when I first came here, a long time ago now. But I do now.
I know what that pit feels like. It’s very cold, and small and absolutely terrifying. And when you’re in it, that fear is very real. That’s the thing normal people don’t get, the thought of suicide to a suicidal person, 9 times out of 10, is absolutely terrifying.
Pain can’t be measured on a scale.
Suicides can’t be ranked.
A death should never become just another number.
But hell, what do I know? I’m technically still […]
I guess you could call this a suicide note without the suicide. Maybe an explaination of why I’m so unhappy all the time and pray for a knife-wielding to randomly slit my throat so I can escape this hell.
I know, and have known for a long time, that I don’t fit in with this world. I don’t agree with most of what human beings do and I don’t enjoy what normal people do. I hate alcohol and drugs and the effect they have on people but I hate the selfishness of human beings and the pain that this causes.
This world should be a great place […]
Our CULTure seems to believe that death is the worst thing that can ever happen. If someone is overdosing on heroin, the medical professionals inject them with something to bring them back. I’m thinking – just let them go! something in the addicts probably want to die anyway! Or if someone gets burned nearly to death in an accident, doctors will do everything they can to save there lives knowing that they will suffer for the rest of it. If your already out of it then the worst is over! so why bring them back just to suffer and die again? Same goes with suicide. If […]
So I start my position as assistant manager today and I just did a shot of heroin in front of the cameras. It’s sad that a hardcore drug addict has a better work ethic than all of these normal people. I feel bad when I get promoted over people that have been with the company for years and I havent even been here a year.
For starters, this is not one of those “talk me out of it” cries for help. This is a decision almost a year in the making. I do not suffer from depression, I have not made this decision lightly and I have done so sober and only during daylight to avoid any emotional bias.
I did my dry run this past weekend, my equipment is all setup and I felt 0 panic so this is happening.
Now for why: I am a pedophile. I am not however a child molester. The man that made me when I was 11, over two decades ago was however. I wonder […]
We all have our own stories some may be worse than others but Every scar that buries deep within my skin holds its own story, every one of them shows a victory, its showing that I have won yet another battle with life, so why hate me and judge me for what lies on my arm, you don’t judge a soldier for a battle wound or scars because he got that fighting a war for his life, I did the same thing I have won a war for my life and these are the wounds and scars that have been left behind for me to […]
I’m posting this to help anyone here that reads it. I’ve been taking a folic acid supplement along with a zinc supplement and it’s really helped. Folic acid helps in the production of neurotransmitters which I’m sure anyone who’s on here knows that these are the chemicals in your brain that regulate mood. I hope that I have helped at least 1 person on this board.
Now, all that being said, I still believe that the feeling of mental stability that most “normal” people feel is merely meant to placate them and further the idea that this world is real. As I get older I suspect […]
It’s funny isn’t it? We make plans and nine times out of ten they never come to fruition. I feel like my clock is ticking down. Do you remember that music video by Nickelback, I don’t know what song it was for, but it had a guy who could see when people were going to die by using little LED clocks above their heads.
Yeah, I feel like that guy when I look in the mirror, only the time keeps jumping around. I think it’s levelling out and there isn’t much left.
I’m cold and shivering all over and I can’t warm myself up. My legs barely […]
Second post.
My first post gave you an idea of my backstory. This is more of an update to that post (I don’t know how to update posts, so I’ll just made another).
I feel alone sometimes. Not all the time, just sometimes. I can’t tell you how often because it is random. My life went from being so busy and involved with music and entertaining to one which is more quiet and normal. I really like the change, please do not misunderstand me. Life is far better now. But I can’t understand why I sometimes feel so alone still?
Before, I kept a diary. I was lonely. […]
the time has arrived. moving stuff out. trying to push through the pain,the anxiety, the fear. she is so strong. so angry with me.deservedly so. she does not recognize how hard i tried. blind to my pain and loss. at least she has somewhere to go, and something to be. she will be safe and able to move foreward from the pathetic excuse of a husband she was with for so long. why is it wrong for me to want to die? what is so important about my existence? i think the normal people need us around to justify their happiness. ” if you dont […]
I love pens. I love finding them on the ground or on a desk and taking them for myself. I don’t know what it is about having a lot of pens that makes me feel good. I just bought 108 pens on Amazon just now for pretty cheap. I feel guilty, though, because I am from a very poor family that never had the money to buy pens or pencils for school. We’d have a few that we used, the rest were my dad’s pens which we couldn’t use since he wanted to keep them for himself. Maybe I get it from my dad. I […]
It’s always the same. In school they force you to work together with your classmates to create a presentation or something. But the word “together” is totally non-sense. Guess who always turned out to do all the work and receive no credit at all for it. The explanation is so simple that I am astonished even teachers don’t understand it: Just take a group with 3 people, grades A B and C+ or whatever. If A wants to retain his good grade he will have to do the work all alone, since neither B nor C- can do the work necessary to receive an A; […]
I survived a rather serious attempt on my own life almost exactly 15 years ago. To be honest, there have been a lot of times since that I have felt truly sorry I failed. Unfortunately, it seems like this is more and more the case.
At any rate, I thought I would try to participate in this community a bit. If you are reading this, you are already probably aware that “normal” people don’t understand what this is like. Indeed, they freak out. Maybe there will be […]
Philosophically, I’m lower than the lowest low. My mind isn’t here anymore, I’m the most dangerous human being alive because even I don’t know what I’m going to do next. Every constructive, fruitful, positive outlook on life I have is crushed underneath the weight, the sheer gravity of our waking reality. This moment, is all there is. Time is meaningless, as is mathematics. These are nothing more than arbitrary measurements we use to quantify absolutely nothing, fleeting happiness in incoherent vortex of human brutality. Yeah, yeah get a goal, get motivated, work hard, work until your hands and calloused and bleeding, that’s the real treat, […]
I am a 40 year old male and I have never been in a relationship. All my life I have been abused and neglected and girls just don’t talk to me. I guess I’m one of those skinny, “creepy”, whiter than normal people who people, especially women feel pity for. And that is all I seem to get from the women who drive by with their boyfriends and husbands in this shitty town out in the middle of nowhere. My work history is really not that good so I can’t seem to get a job and all I live on is a dim hope that […]
Everyone in their happy-go-lucky lives ran into me today. “OMG x and I are getting married!”, “I am so excited, I’m going to be a mom in 6 weeks!”, “We’re going away to Rarotonga in a few weeks.” Ugh.
Meanwhile I spent an evening lying on my shower floor crying.
A few weeks ago I came across an article in the New York Times about a man and his love for his cat. It was surprisingly interesting despite the subject matter and reflected on bits of human nature that would be applicable to more than just ones relationship with their cat/pet.
From the article: “I’ve speculated that people have a certain reservoir of affection that they need to express, and in the absence of any more appropriate object – a child or a lover, a parent or a friend – they will lavish the same devotion on a pug or a manx or a cockatiel, even […]
I will kill myself in december when I wont get admission in my favourite college to pursue my passion. I have some months in hand. I will ..be so sad then I might fall back again into depression. I mean right now things are okay so u see im alive still after two attempts. But then people will have a reason to see why I died. If I died now people will call me a fool. Im useless I wont pass the examination so there comes no question of admission. Waiting for that precious day.. when I will rent a hotel and there I will […]
I am neither a black or white sheep, in terms of how extreme a person I am.
White sheep are the normal people, who have their daily struggles but usually they come out on top. Some of them have a good life, some of them bad – but most have a life that they feel is fulfilling and meaningful – spouse, house, career, car, kids – it’s all been done before but doing it yourself feels so different. You make your own life and you are relatively content, maybe even happy. Maybe a few bad thoughts now and then, when it gets to the lowest point […]