Tag:
nothing
When you want nothing more than to be dead, but you can’t bring yourself to commit suicide, and have to live day after day of misery, I believe that this is torture. Trivial compared to “real” torture, but still torture nonetheless.
Torture is defined for many magnitudes, but only the sufferers of the absolute worst kinds of torture receive any sympathy in this world. As another example, one-time victims of rape are often stigmatized, and the pain they suffer is dismissed as marginal. But if the victim was kidnapped and raped over a long period of time, she gains near-universal sympathy.
I graduated from college and have a Bachelors of Science. I thought more doors would be opened for me but now ten month since graduation… this does not seem so.
I held a position in manufacturing 6 months after graduate just to make some money but did not take long for me to feel dissatisfied, unaccomplished, and severely depressed. I woke each morning feeling unmotivated, miserably, and wondering why I cannot launch my career. I had no problem quitting the job. The job put me to sleep (literally), the pay sucked, the hours was pitiful, no one appreciate the volunteered overtime and… most importantly, I want to dedicate […]
i just made the previous post i apologise for my behaviour yeh i was in a deep coma for over a week and near death i came out of it i went into it with such megolomania and expierences i cant explain but i still want to say i feel and know in my heart nothing is to fear and love is forever no point going into it looll
Just trying to register for this site made me consider swallowing a bottle of pills.
Anyone suffering from depression knows it can be very hard to concentrate on even simple tasks. I hate that part of depression, it makes me appear so dumb at times. Trying to remember how to spell words is so hard for me.
its amazing to realize how much stress/depression/anxiety have an effect on almost all aspects of my life, Â especially so many physical things. Â But of course (according to my family) there is really nothing wrong with me.
just die. please. end this. there’s a train coming right towards me and i don’t even move. what’s wrong with me?! have i no shame? have i no honor? have i no GOD? indeed, i’m a disgrace to my family of achievers. yes, i’m a man who wastes his days away playing swtor and masturbates everyday. i want to change. but i can’t. but i wanted to. i think i don’t want to. every time i look at the mirror, all i see is the embodiment of failure.
i know my girlfriend is sick of me being negative. why shouldn’t she? there are millions of positive, […]
That’s all I have, myself. In my experience, no body truly cares. I try to reach my hands over the counter, as if I’m the size of an ant, standing as tall as I can, though never do I reach. The only people who have ever cared still are unproven, unless they want something from it. I need help, however whenever I search for it I’m shunned away. Â The only person that wants to help me -isn’t my bestfriend, or my mother- it’s a stranger, wanting $125 a half an hour, and that’s the saddest thing of all.. Once I’m gone they’ll never understand, I […]
Edit: Wow… No comments, and my post is buried on page 3 (currently). It’s time for death I believe.
Well, seems I cannot escape suicidal feelings. I was sure I’d go through with killing myself the last time I was here… but… I hung-on. Things got better. Now everything is downhill again. (Or uphill, depending on your view.)
I was jobless, and felt unloved. I met some people, re-connected with old friends. It seemed like things were improving. As usual, it was an illusion. I always end-up back where I started. Having nothing, and being alone.
My dog is getting put down next week. He’s old, and he’s […]
Hi,
An MBA in Finance, worked in Frankfurt, London, Zurich and now jobless in my hometown India. I lost my job 7 months ago. Have 7 years of work experience in financial sector. I have a home and car loan on my head. Till last month i was able to manage these loans and my daily expenses with all my savings. But from March 2014 i will have no house, no food, no loan money, nothing; as all my saving are over. The biggest of all is I have a credit card payment of 2000 USD to be paid by feb end and I have nothing […]
I dont know how or why im still alive. I have no use here. Im a stupid worthless piece of shit and noone cares. Im never good enough for anyone. NEVER! and i never will be. because ill always be who i am and i cant change that. but i can change whether im here or not. I dont understand how ive held on this long. Its crazy, all the crap i put up with. But then again, here i go being selfish. There are people who put up with alot more. i dont have it that bad, im just a whiny […]
I try to keep my mind off of the suicidal demons trying to consume me. It’s a bit hard when nothing is going good.
I’ve not been myself lately. I don’t even know who I am anymore, as cliché as that sounds.
I plan on moving out to Florida after high school. My friend has a condo in Orlando, I’d move anywhere to get out of this shithole city.
You know, no matter how shitty and depressed I feel, I always put others before me. I wish more people would do the same, some are incredibly selfish, it’s disgusting.
I find it hard to see myself in the future. I have […]
It’s been a week or 2 since I lasst posted, but I figured I would give you all an update. That is, if anyone cares.
So I went to the state tournament. And won, then lost, then won again. At this point, I was one match away from placing in my state tournament. Tough kid I had to take, but I was confident. Anyways, 3, 2, 1, wrestle! So we did, and I was winning for a time, then he got desperate, and I ended up losing.
After that, I cried for a bit. (I know I know, men don’t cry, but since I am […]
I feel like I’m such a failure, I’m 23 nothing to show for my life… I have a dead-end job with a small company… I’ve attempted college several times already, just don’t seem to have enough ambition. I can’t afford anything, I barely make enough to pay rent, electric, & gas… Yet I don’t qualify for help from the government… I look around at everyone else and wonder why am I in such a shitty situation, why can’t I be happy, why can’t I afford to eat everyday; pay my bills; and live a normal life… I am feel everyone is always judging me… I […]
“Final Tango”
Maybe if I pray to the Devil, it will be there for me. Duality.
I wonder if I dance, does it stand next to me, cold.
My guardian angel.
Touching my shadow.
Faces of the people.
Living a world in a lie.
Upside-down, upside-down. Why.
In futility. Trying to decipher.
Here in my abyssal nonsensical throne.
Chained, that is all I can do, and nothing.
There is no “God,” but if there is, it will save me.
Tonight, what happens. When nothing’s left. In this.
The grey. The light. The dark.
Humanity.
The battle. The war, lost.
The archives, stolen.
Evil overtaken.
How many thousands […]
Theres fire in her eyes,
And a spark in her soul.
There’s flames in her mind,
And her heart is a hole.
There’s an ocean in her eyes,
And a waterfall pouring down her face.
There’s a deep blue color within them,
As the tears began to race.
There’s no hope in her eyes,
No faith in her heart.
There’s nothing left to cling to,
As her world is falling apart.
Hello.
Nobody really needs to see this, just read my username.
————
Why keep on going?
It’s just…… Everything is made out to mean the world to people when there are stars out there that are trillions of times larger than our planet. If anything, we’re just science’s little exception. People say that if we moved just a little closer to the sun, our planet could burst into flames. So why try anything?
this all started from reading some story, by the way.
I just don’t understand why we keep on working if everything is going to waste anyways. Maybe I’m just being a big ol’ douche, i dunno.
If we want […]
“Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any misery, any depression, since after all you don’t know what work these conditions are doing inside you? Why do you want to persecute yourself with the question of where all this is coming from and where it is going? Since you know, after all, that you are in the midst of transitions and you wished for nothing so much as to change. If there is anything unhealthy in your reactions, just bear in mind that sickness is the means by which an organism frees itself from what is alien; so one must […]
I can’t help but feel guilty for even being here. I’ve always believed life is a gift and there’s nothing so bad that it can actually ruin your life; surely if you are so desperate you are contemplating taking your life then surely you are desperate enough to try anything else that might alleviate your pain- and, I so smugly thought, totally changing the life you couldn’t live with would, voila, take away the belief that you need to die.
I WAS SO WRONG.
I understand now. No matter what I do, if I moved a thousand miles away, if I threw myself into a new career, […]
It’s all over now. I think i’m happy!
I’ve done my first youtube video. Feel free to watch it if you have nothing else to do.
Sincerely,
Nobody915