Is is wrong to want to hurt him the way he hurt me?
Is it wrong to want to take it all from him so he is left with nothing?
All the years, all my time, all my efforts.
All the pain, all the fears,
he took away, only to bring worse ones near.
My heart says i still love him.
My heart won’t let me hurt him.
But my mind, it’s going crazy.
How can I hurt him anyway?
I’m so confused and angry.
But not at him.
I’m angry at me.
I let this all happen.
I can’t hurt him..
And my heart, […]
Wandering the world aimlessly, I continue to descend, faster and faster as I feel the wind in my hair. I see all the faces along the way, all the hurt, all the desires, all the love, all the moments. Little moments in each box, like presents waiting to be opened on Christmas morning. Presents that will be lost for all eternity. Deeper and deeper I dive into my slumber, into the depths of my mind, the depths of my soul, into the center of the earth and beyond. Everything engulfs me and swallows me whole and I become one once again. Each time I dream […]
Hi Guys,
Yes I posted yesterday…. It was a bit earlier than normal… Sorry.
So today. Today was an sdjkjsskfjk day. Nothing really exciting happened… Well I guess I shouldn’t say that. A new semester began today at school. Which means a new schedule. Which means new seats. And new teachers. Well of course in one class guess who I get to sit by for a whole semester (about 90 days) MY BULLY. Wooo…. Not. So that’s that. On the bright side I moved to my honors English class :D.
So yeah. How am I doing? Emotionally: Unstable. Physically: In Pain.
I don’t know how long I […]
I really don’t ask for a lot out of life. I mean I’ve wished for a lot of things, sure, and who hasn’t? I know that I don’t need a lot of luxuries in life.  But is it really too much to ask for a little stability in my life? All I want to be able to do is go to sleep at night without being anxious about where I’ll end up sleeping and if I’ll eat tomorrow. It’s the reason I ended up suicidal in the first place. Not the self-esteem issues, not the loneliness, not any failed relationship, not school, not work. Hell, […]
Hello everyone, firstly let me say I just happened to drift onto this site in a rather accidental manner. And, upon reading some of your stories, I must say for not believing in yourselves, you are a extremely courageous and inspiring lot. I say this because you have shattered a costly visage that I, unwillingly, feel it is constantly my duty to maintain. Forgive me for being verbose, it is just I rarely speak about matters so personal in nature. Also, I shall try not to give you my life story but I feel like you deserve to know a bit more about the man […]
i feel it creeping up on me.
the darkness i can never see.
taking me away,
suffocating me.
i can barely breathe.
I can hear it shouting threats.
wishing me a horrid death.
the demons will invade,
it’s already too late.
i cannot be saved.
it’s over!
I am falling fast.
this will be my last.
no use saving me,
these cuts are way too deep.
a necklace made of rope,
a bracelet made of blood,
water mixed arcenic.
a kiss from a gun.
nothing can compare,
just kick away the chair.
and wait to fade away,
down your drink of death,
and die so peacefully.
Don’t […]
My whole life has seemed a blur, like nothing is real and everything is just underlined with pain. I actually come from a successful and wealthy background, I have never been left wanting for more. However, for some reason the only thoughts  I seem to house are ones of suicide. It happens in the shower, at work, in bed, at family gatherings….. absolutely everywhere. Its like being tortured and destroyed from the inside out. About a year ago I met someone who was the first person I ever opened up to. I told him how I felt over time, and he promised to help and […]
These words follow me everywhere I go.
I don’t quite understand them.
I don’t know what they are, but I can’t lose them.
These words have their own voice.
They sing and I cry along.
I try to master them.
But they are the ones who control me.
These words are my very being.
They are lost inside themselves.
I cannot comprehend them, as I can’t comprehend myself.
Who am I?
These words cannot tell me.
I’ve tried to stifle these words.
But they refuse to be silent.
In my dreaming, the words are pictures.
They show me glimpses of what I want.
Corpses with my […]
Just called a suicide hotline.. they guy i talked to .. he just kept saying uh well you need to look at it from a better point of view.
I lost my 2nd oldest brother cause my oldest brother raped me! and you exspect me to look on the bright side. I look at his facebook everyday, hoping to get to know him. I DONT EVEN KNOW MY OWN BROTHER. And i hate it.. i hate it so badly. I only found out last week he’s graduated highschool.. i never knew.. i didnt know..
I miss him so badly, we would stay up reading the hungry catapillar, […]
The truth I hold, took years to unfold, locked up and never told. Now I speak, for I am done being weak. A story I will tell, awakening the pits of my hell.
 Pinned against the wall, being six a little small. Tongue against my chest, you can imagine the rest. Touching, feeling, my eyes rolling to the ceiling. I push away, forced down, screaming, but i was never found.
 Day and night, always full of fright kissing, sucking, nonstop fucking. Crying, weeping and always pleading.
Was I that bad […]
Well what do you do when nobody can stand you?
because you cant stand tall or cant understand its all the same to me you all know im nothing
Even though the sun shines bright today, even though life truly is wonderful this day, at this moment, I can never forget the life of suffering ahead of me and I can never forget the suffering that brought me here, because the moment I do, all my efforts and my desire to end my own life will have been nothing but shallow delusions, things just felt in the moment and not profound at all. No matter what, I will hold on this feeling. Never to let go.
The Thirt Word was “Hum,”
Caught by straining ears
As I softly release
Your trembling arms…
I posted on here nearly a year ago, when I was fifteen. Well, I’m sixteen now, and things have not improved in the least.
My dad is still an angry, violent alcoholic. My mom still stands behind him. I still come home with outstanding grades, only to be put down by my parents, saying it still isn’t good enough. That I’m not even trying.
Here’s the thing; I actually haven’t been trying. I can’t anymore. The depression has turned. I used to cry a lot, and reach out to friends when I was at my worst. Now, I don’t feel much of anything. I have no motivation, […]
i sit at school in the computer lab and all i can think to do i look up things on suicide. I always find pictures and stories and more and more ideas just go through my brain. Im so sick of my life and i want to be dead. I cant do anything right, i have no friends, my parents hate me , and i have no future. I think tonights the night. i just want to get it over with. i can’t wait to get home and finish it once and for all!
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