Fucking up again. Fucking up again. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
Tag:
Nuisance
I feel quite depressed  but I guess that’s okay since I managed to be alright the past week. I’ve been walking mindlessly through the present and haven’t thought of the future , I don’t know what I was thinking I guess I just thought things were getting better though I was wrong, what was I thinking. Reality slapped me in the face the school year’s almost over and I’m still in the same place I was when it started and I’m feeling even worse than freshman year, I can’t bury my feelings as well as I could last year and my grades have slacked, and […]
Hi again friends,
Happy Easter. Glad to be out of school for a bit, but I’m sad tonight. I was told that my ongoing habit of playing with my hair was apparently such a nuisance that it was possible that I could be grounded from going to concerts, one of my favorite things to do. Look, habits are really hard to break, from hair playing, to nail biting. I think many of us have had to deal with them. It can take time to get over them, but I don’t think it’s fair to go as far as grounding me for not having done so already.
Ever since I was little, my parents have always been different. Harder,stricter, meaner. To all outward appearances, they seem like some fairly-wealthy, friendly vignorons (grape growers). Well if they’re friendly, then they probably just dont like me. Preposterous you say? Your parents LOVE you you say?
No, they dont. Not mine at least. For years ive always been that useless, dumb child that they cant stand the look of. No matter how friendly i am, how well i achieve or how much i help them, i get more crap. Im not dumb and im not useless. But they think I am. Any thirst for knowledge […]
I live a life, yet I feel like I do not truly hold an important existence. All I am is an immense disappointment, a big burden, & faith put to waste. I have felt worthless and invisible in society ever since I was a little child, and I have worked so hard to overcome that, yet I have just landed right back into that same dilemma and loneliness. In so many ways, I am still that lonely, confused, and lost child I was then, yet unlike then, there just is no hope for me now. Change just is not possible.
One of the biggest issues in my […]
I am writing this not so much so people can comment, but because I know writing it down makes it a little easier and I find it alot easier to show/talk about this to strangers rather than feeling like I’m a nuisance to my friends. Also, I’m just going to stick to the main events, seeing as the others aren’t that important.
Last year I had a suicidal friend. He was like a brother to me and after the first time he told me he felt suicidal, I could tell the signs for the future. When I could see the signs or if he told me […]
I finally made an account. I’ve spent all afternoon reading and I identify entirely with feeling like I’m in a slump. The worst part as I see it is the apathy. The complete loss of excitement for all the little things that used to make me smile and worse yet, the utter lack of care for whomever’s emotions will be affected by my last action on this earth.
I’m 21, completely hopeless, and scared for what lies ahead. I don’t want to disappoint my wife of four months, but with all the fighting I think she’d be better off. I seldom socialize anymore, I dropped […]
I couldn’t sleep last night. I barely got 2 hours. I dreamt my father came to me just to tell me how much of a nuisance I am and how much trouble I’ve caused him. I woke up, just in time for class, but I couldn’t find the energy to get up. Once it was too late to go, I started crying. Â I’m going to screw up my whole life, or should I rather say, I’ve already screwed up my whole life. I’ve been going on like this for months now, and I can’t find the courage to tell anyone.
Ever since one of my best […]
I feel like no one ever listens to me and hear my opinions. Like anything that comes out of my mouth or anything that I think of is just jibberish and not worth anyone’s time. They always cut me off before I finish my thought, judge me from the first 3 words of my sentence, ignore me after a minute. What’s the point in being here if no one really wants the hear what you have to say?
I’m tired of always fighting to have my voice be heard.
Even on here.
Am I just a nuisance to everyone? Does my presence annoy the hell out of you? If […]
Every time I get a real good feeling about the right woman, I get shot down. Its always been “Your nothing”, “You don’t deserve her”, and such. And i’m really ready to just end my life. There’s no point in love or my life, im sick and tired of amounting to nothing. Being nothing is all I’ve ever been and all I ever will be. Every love has been a big f%#@ing dud, a flat line, another piece of me I just give away. I’ve been in this path of hate for 8 years now. And all its been is hate, anger, and depression. I see no point in […]