…or maybe, technically, it was several days ago when she chose to stop the dialysis that was allowing her to live. A painful way to go but she prided herself on being a tough old broad. We had a love/hate relationship.
I miss her.
Tag:
old
I am a 16 year old girl (will be 17 in 2 days), and well, what can i say, i am depressed and have suicidal tendencies.
Though i probably have everything, perfect scores, bunch of friends, money, and complete family, i feel this emptiness inside me. Every single day i know and i feel that something is eating away my hope inside me. I dont have the spark in my eyes anymore. I’d cry my eyes out until i fall asleep, i overthink it kills me, and i am highly emotional. I get angry and sad in a matter of seconds.
Perfect scores doesnt mean im happy. […]
Im so scared I dont know what to do……I’ve been in chronic pain now for 10yrs after a car accident made me have to have spine surgery. My life was great until that point……I was in college getting ready to graduate next quarter and I was working for a doctors office doing the work that I was in college for.
After the surgey I was unable to continue with class/work since it was excruciating to sit or stand for long periods of time and I would get horrible spasms and nerve damage caused a lightning type pain to run from my buttox down to my foot.
Well […]
So here I am, an eighteen year old boy on a website designed for sad teenage girls and I’m expected to talk about the “perks” of being me? Okay fine if it will keep her happy and I’ll be able to come out more often then FINE I’ll write! Hm some perks? Well, I had a milkshake last night so that’s cool or whatever. Man I don’t think I can sit here and pretend there are perks to being myself. I can’t even be myself! I’m 18 and a boy and I’m trapped in a woman’s body, let me tell you going to the bathroom […]
I’m 25 years old and have suffered from severe depression and anxiety since I was 14. Medication and therapy have been of little assistance. I’ve had a very difficult social life due to this problem making it difficult to form friendships and impossible to find a romantic relationship the latter of which has devastated me more than anything. I recently spent a day with a girl I connected with more than anyone I have ever met, agreed to stay in contact with her and within a few days she completely cut off all contact with me without explanation. This is the only time in my […]
why do so many people in the spring of their life want to die?
by cathy arsis
written by cathy arsis
I know a part of it is lack of latitude, perspective, and maturity…another mitigating factor is the plethora of uncouth unkempt destructive and fickle hormones that run rampant and unchecked in rare form, throughout all the winters that reign year(s) in and through all the days of precocious and ironically facetious youth thru the ides of March until age20 comes to pass…..but how much, and towards what end, does the state of the world, internationally and locally weigh in this….if this is a cumbersome and poorly written, it’s bc it’s written in stream of consciousness style. It’s a writing exercise used by writers to hone their […]
Never used a website like this before but I feel like it’s the only way I can express myself without people worrying and thinking I’m crazy. I just feel so hopeless and worthless all the time. My bestfriend committed suicide in September 2009 at age 13 and in December 2014 my friend from school also committed suicide at age 15. I have attempted suicide twice, both by overdosing but failed both times. There was a time I loaded a gun and put it to my head but I couldn’t pull the trigger. I’m only 17 years old but I really just don’t feel like I […]
I am 20. It’s been 4 years now. Everyday I say to myself “I want to die”. You know the little games we play in our mind. Mine is – saying to myself “I want to die”.
It started off due to academic pressure, then bullies, then other tensions. Eventually I am now a failure everywhere. If we meet someday, you wouldn’t be able to tell that I am suicidal. I wish you could. No way can sense how unhappy I am. I am just another introvert in front of society. Inside I am a tired guy screaming in tears – “I WANT TO DIE”.
I am […]
I getting closer to 30 years old.
I am currently unemployed.
And apart from a few casual jobs which I could never last in,
I have never worked a day in my life.
I don’t have any friends.
In fact I don’t have any good rapport with anyone.
Which means I have absolutely no references.
I am still on my learners license after 9 years and 3 expiries.
I do nothing all day.
I am lazy and have no motivation.
Is there any hope for me at all?
I don’t sleep much. But when I do, I dream a lot.
I just woke from a dream in which I met an old friend, after years apart. On the one hand it was pleasant, because it meant being with people again, and life, and enthusiasm. But it was also painful, because the way I related to everyone was just like in real life. I hid my true self. I could feel myself being deceptive about what I really felt, believed, who I really was. Even with caring, sympathetic, intelligent people, predisposed to viewing me positively, I have to pretend.
It’s the same with everyone I meet. […]
I am the victim of suicide. The one who is alive and is going to be in pain for the rest of my life. The mother of an 8 month old child, to whom I will have to someday explain, why dads gone. And it will have to be one hell of a story. I am the one left with all the mess. I am the one that wandered here looking for answers. I am the victim. Before a couple of days i havent heard of N powder. I am the one who has been lied to. I am the one that loved very much. […]
I get unnecessarily blamed for everything by my EX best friend for the last year. She’s a fucked up little girl who walks all over people and uses them, then twists it on you making you feel like you’re at fault and that you’re a piece of shit. For real, this time, I don’t think we’ll talk again. This time she’s gone too far, showing up at my house and laying her hands on me trying to fight me. All because her friend got in a fight with her ex over some stupid shit and was upset, therefore I’m a bad friend for hanging out […]
I was just going over some old stories I wrote (or wrote most of, at least) and I can’t figure out what changed. I used to be able to sit down and write a story that, I was told, was well written and intriguing. I don’t know what changed, but I can’t even sit down to write the final three chapters of a book I know the ending to. Well, it’s technically a graphic novel, one of two that I almost finished, and only because they were my only fantasy stories and sometimes painting the world works better than trying to describe it with words. […]
I was already suicidal and then I found this girl online, an old flame. We started talking and seemed to have a strong connection. Then she started talking to me less and less! When I asked her what is up and to be honest, she said that she tried to look past it, but can’t stand people who are on SSI and welfare without working or goals! I was absolutely floored! Another rejection? She was all into me and then dumped me like I was a piece of trash and claimed that we wasn’t together in the first place.
I immediately got a 12 pack of […]
Hi I’m 24 year old male. When I was a baby I had surgery. I have scars behind each EAR… Look up v2k mind control…. Since I was a minor the town I live in turned me into a chomo. I was in my teens and the voices told me to look at teen porn…when I was in my 20s I remember getting outta jail and the voices were telling me to look at minor porn. Now the world pisses in my food and drinks and comes into my home. And pee in my shampoo n soap and toothpaste. So you still think you have […]
Hi, My name is stefan and I’m 31 years old. I made many mistakes in my
life and caused pain to a lot of people. I?m absolutely sure I will end
up in hell after committing suicide. I realy like to talk to other
people that know for sure they will end up in hell.
I?m blind so most parts of this site are not accessible for me. So
please answer me by email. my email address is: stefan@deds.nl
Best regards, Stefan.
i am inexplicably tired of everything in my life right now. i am tired of everyone depending on me to be there for them, shouting their problems to me, as if i am strong enough to carry all of their weight plus mine. i am tired of old memories coming back to haunt me and the fear i feel, i am tired of the realness of all of my feelings and thoughts. i am tired of keeping everything about my identity a secret to those who “love” me. i am tired of the overwhelming feelings of loneliness i feel at night as if no one […]
Caught
In a rut, in a strut
In always having rotten luck
In parading around, no end to be found
To always letting myself get cut
And burned
By the same old things
Caught
In a lie, by and by–
In the absence of cut and dry
It’s easier to smile and avoid their eyes
Than to let loose the truth I have no name for,
No cage for
Caught
In a lack if words
Between maybe wanting to be heard
And a need to never be seen again,
A wish to hide away from the world
Caught
With a snap, in a trap,
Falling into the ancient […]
I think tonight should be the night. If not tonight then tomorrow night. Just no more than 48 hours. I have nothing more to give.
I’ve always pictured myself engaging in adventurous, amazing, fun activities before I go. Instead I’m content with watching old movies and listening to old music. (I wish Netflix would work though) The only things that are weighing heavily on my heart at this time are 1. How sorry I feel for my dog. Nobody loves him as much as me so he won’t get as much attention, and also he won’t know why I’m gone. 2. Tremendous guilt. 3. How things […]