I’ve been dealing with depression and anxiety for a long time. I’ve started seeing a new therapist and though I can’t tell him everything he’s really been helping me. For the past three days I’ve felt happier and calmer than I have in a long time despite all the crap. I really want to rekindle my relationship with my (ex)boyfriend. He’s been dealing with a lot and I kept my distance because he doesn’t need to deal with me on top of it all. I’m waiting until I’m better to try and be with him again. We were perfect together until the old feelings came […]
Tag:
old
An orange rots from the inside out. The outside may be in pristine condition, but upon cutting it open you may find nothing but mold.
Maybe that’s what’s been happening to my mind. My memory has been getting worse. My desire for life is diminishing even more, if that were possible. I’m starting to care less and less about the risk and consequence of my death. On the outside, however, I am as normal as can be to most people.
Yes, to most people. Other than the person who (sadly) saved me from death during my last attempt, most people involved had put it away, […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK5dHqXCLbo
Well I just joined this site.. I read a few different stories and figured I’d write one myself.. I am 21 years old I have my own house and I live with my dog. I have severe depression issues. I find it hard to keep going through life knowing I will never amount to anything. I consider myself a decent guy I don’t get angry or violent I just kinda say or do whatever I have to to get through the day. Every day for the past 6 or 7 years I’ve thought about death. Even now I’m just thinking what is stopping me from […]
Last week I went on vacation with my siblings, and there were some fun parts definitely. But overall it just made me realize once again how high the tensions between me and the rest of my family are. My brother thinks I’m weird and (possibly) a freak, but he usually doesn’t show it intentionally. My one sister tries to be as nice as possible towards me, cause she is a kind soul. My other sister was annoyed the whole trip for some reason, and when she’s like that she usually lets her anger out on other people, i.e. me. It’s basically just because she’s mad, […]
7 years ago, prior to my last attempt, I, along with 9 others bared witness to an angel ascend- my angel to be precise had been battling Aids for 15 years, and although in constant pain and discomfort he took me under his wing and like a mama bird- he nurtured me, showed me the care my own mother never could.
His poor, old, tired body could take no more and so we all gathered around him at a time he chose and bid him goodbye- he had such a high tolenrance from the hundreds of medications that had kept him alive that now they hindered […]
Sorry in advance for any spelling errors. I’m writing this on my phone.
Hey guys! How’s it been going? It’s Lucy! It’s been a long time, hasn’t it ( Holy hell it’s been since September :O )? I wonder how many of you actually remember me 😛 So I’ve got some catching up to do.
First of all the reason why I’ve been absent from this site for so long is because I’ve been going to a therapist and she tells me to remove myself from the negative influences around me. I was a bit pissed in the beginning but it made sense. I deleted […]
Sorry this ia written cappy
Hi my name is ezequiel and i am 14 years old and suicidal and i just wanna share my veiw on life.when i was 1-3 my parents brought me to arizona i lived with my mom,dad,and sister.Around the first few months that we moved here my dad began abuseing hard drugs like coke and lots of other drugs he would come home all druged out and abuse me and my sister(she was about 6 or 7)and he would cut my mom with knifes he was always like this.We were really poor my mom got a job at pizza hut and my […]
hello all…im new to this site hopefuly itll help somehow..even thu im not sure whats gonna help me anymore..
im filling up surveys and stuf…and it all shows i have severe depression and needs to be under treatment asap…
anyways…my situation goes like this..im 22 yrs old male..and im unemployed and ill just..cut it short and say i cant handle things anymore..
i once could..now i cant it just a feeling i have idk how to explain it..each day i feel worse cuz im depressed..each day i thinks of how killing myself and ..one day soon itll happen i know it..i feel it..
im ..pretty paranoid person…as a result […]
heres my story:
I am an 18 year old girl with very few friends. I just dropped out of college and moved back in with my mom because I have no where else to go. I dropped out of college because I fucked up my grades. I’ve never had many friends, I went to 4 high schools because I was always moving.
My mom and I fight a lot. I found a job but I have no one to hang out with. It’s depressing. I am tall, slim and pretty with long hair. I am super shy and it’s hard for me to talk to people. Guys […]
I’m 14 years old and I’ve been thinking about overdosing on sleeping pills. I’ve done research on strong medications but I can’t seem to find any that are strong enough from over the counter products, it seems I have have a prescription from a doctor. I can’t do that without telling my parents and I dont think I can do that without bursting into tears and have them become angry with me. Just this morning I finally told them I didn’t believe in god and I felt they were about to disown me. I know this is probably a page to help others come out […]
Maybe I can’t do it. I know my soul. It gets satisfaction only in degradation. I just want to rot. I think that’s because I have seen the end, traveled the farthest . There is nothing left for me to know. And I know it’s all futile. And it doesn’t prompt me to suicide; it only prevents me from finding a positive, satisfying motivation in doing anything that’s beneficial for me. And that would be all good and satisfying, i would be very happy in rotting, if there wasn’t this constant pressure, this sense of obligation that i feel towards my family. I just can’t make […]
I’m 22 years old and have a year left in college…I don’t really have any close friends and had a tough break up recently. I cry a lot because I’m depressed and lonely I guess and have thoughts that I’m awful and unworthy all the time and a feeling that there’s nothing I can do to change it. I try to be passionate about my artwork but have begun to question whether that has any meaning or value whatsoever. I used to get enjoyment from that but for some reason I’ve been stuck thinking that it’s wrong to be passionate about something that doesn’t involve […]
That’s what it’s called. The happy moment interrupted suddenly by the painful thought, “God, I’m so stupid, I wish I could die.” It’s so silly, I can’t cross a bridge anymore, or stand near a high window, without it creeping up on me. “One jump, two seconds, splat! It’s all over.” You think that you’re happy, but all of a sudden the sanctuary of your mind is no longer safe. You have to tiptoe around your own thoughts, control the urges, try your damndest to keep it just that. Passive. Because if you take that leap, if you make that plan, if you reach for […]
Here’s to you Scott.
I didn’t know you long but you’ll leave a lasting impression with me.
Sleep well now old timer.
TC always helps keep the suicidal thoughts at bay.
Do you ever find yourself writing letters that you’ll never send? I don’t mean actual pen and paper letters, like maybe written down on your computer or as a draft in your inbox?
I’m doing it more often these days.
I write letters to everyone. Family. Friends. And you.
I think if I went I’d want them to be delivered to people. They are my essence. My everything. I don’t know any kind of post mortem delivery system for the suicidal though.
I find myself staring at the belt more and more. Nothing special. An old brown leather belt. It holds my weight, I’ve checked. So does the bed […]
Hello, I’m a 20 year old guy currently living at home with his parents, going to school. I don’t have a lot of friends, and I’ve never been social.
But recently I’ve been getting closer and closer to suicide. I’m nearly failing school (again) and I’m one quarter away from getting kicked out of both my parent’s house and my school. Currently, my computer and my favorite TV show’s upcoming fifth season are the only things keeping me alive. But is it truly worth the pain? Just to watch some silly animated show’s fifth season, in return to months of endless suffering.
I have severe ADHD and […]
3 years ago some bad financial advice resulted in me losing $200k, and subsequent events increased this to virtually $1.5m. I am now 60 years old and was heading for a comfortable retirement, Â but these events have decimated my plans and left me an anxious wreck unable to work and increasingly depressed. I look back on my life as a doctor with self loathing and with the bitter taste of guilt I have seen myself steadily deteriorate over the past 2 years. Although previously a workaholic national level triathlete, I have now become a lonely slob, sitting around all day on the computer or ruminating […]
They asked me if I was suicidal. Rather, they asked me if I was intending on harming myself or anyone else. Of course, I could never build up the courage to lay a finger on someone, let alone stab them or fatally injure them. But, I wanted out. And I would have escaped had I not been born a coward. If I weren’t such a goddamn coward I would not be typing this hoping I’ll get some answers. My story isn’t very long, for I am not very old, and I’ll only tell if you want. It’s nothing special; in fact I wonder how it […]
Today in 4th period I was fine, then all of a sudden I started getting really antsy and I got really nervous. I have no clue why, I asked my teacher if I could go to the nurse to take my medication  (I don’t take medication) and she asked me if that’s where I was really going, obviously I said yes. But I went walking around and tried to calm myself, but instead I got angry. I started punching the walls and I started punching myself, I have no clue why. So for 45 mins I went walking, then I went back to class and […]
21 years old.
A bowler
I failed out of college and my parents do not know. As of right now they could care less for me because I have recently told them I was gay and had a boyfriend who makes me very happy. But I failed. I tried getting back into college but it’s a hopeless cause. It was a snowball effect that started one day when I rode my bike home from campus last April and I got hit by a car. I missed two weeks of school and this semester my knee was in constant pain even after having surgery. I’m tired of […]