I’m so sick of being literally ignored by the people around me of these extreme feelings. Literally ignored. I say something, and they act as if nothing was said. I attempted suicide before, and I want to do it again. I do not know why I couldnt have just died the first time. As if anybody cares. If anybody cared I wouldn’t be in this situation right now. I have sought help through counseling but I have found it to not work for me. I find myself wanting to hang myself everyday. I want to so much. I know its my only hope but I […]
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only hope
Do you think it’s painful? I have come across stories of others who have chosen this methos to have appeared to have thrashed around during their last moments, making me think that this might actually be a very dreadful way to go. I can only hope that the thrashing happens after the brain loses consciousness…
Any thoughts on this? Either educated guesses or preferably factual based, but any input would be appreciated.
Much thanks in advance,
CT
I would like to share with you all a moment in my life where I felt the value of living.
I am a big fan of comic books. When I was younger I would consume manga (Japanese comics) which led to my later love in life of American graphic novels and great American literature in general. My favorite graphic novelist is Alan Moore. If you’ve never heard of him I’m sure you’ve heard of some of his works. He’s the mind behind the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, V for Vendetta, From Hell, Lost Girls, the Killing Joke, and Watchmen. He’s a wonderful man […]
Sickness, pain and everlasting guilt. Mistakes and terrible decisions made and repeated once more. Memory fails me unsure if  it’s due to anxiety, fear and shutting down or something more sinister.
I’ve pushed everyone away, Â ran away, I miss my friends but after six months of me pushing them away, hiding, ignoring i doubt they want anything to do with me. Who can blame them, im uselss, boring and so withdrawn. And I can’t even admit how terrible I have been.
I have thought about death so much this year. I wanted to end it all so many times. I went to a funeral of a dear […]
I can only hope, while at the same time, giving up. What a contradictory statement.
I never have been in this frame of mind. Where everything means nothing. I was a happy child. A good student. A great mother and then I was struck with a debilitating illness. My life was heavenly and now it’s beyond hell. I am limited to doing nothing because I am so ill. Is laying in bed by the force of this disease, day by day, minute by minute living. I have had enough of this suffering. It is beyond cruel. To be not aware of this living hell is my only hope. It’s closer than I think.
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Let-Her-Go-Jasmine-Thompson-Music-Download-Paradise-Pro.mp3
I ain’t gonna make I have no friends
I am becoming my own worst enemy once again
Why doesn’t anybody care?
Why won’t nobody help me?
All of this for a stupid prophecy!?
All of my life I have pretended not to know
Everything good thing I had have now become owed
I’m trying to cry, trapped with pain
My god is the only reason I am still the same
I’m sick, no help no doctor a queue
I’m lonely, no friends, no one real in my life to talk too
The things they have done and what I have had to do […]
…Once you realize this, life becomes a bit easier to bear. The truth is, whether you asked to exist or not doesn’t matter. Whether you have a loving family, a good circle of friends, and a boy/girlfriend doesn’t matter. If you’re poor and suffer from some physical impairment, that also doesn’t matter. Why not, you ask?
Simply because life isn’t fair. Some people are born ahead of others, whether they’re subjectively ‘good’ people or not. Some people just suffer their whole lives for no reason at all.
The universe doesn’t give a fuck about your happiness. So if you’ve been holding out and hoping things are going […]
I had a dream once , that the gras was greener when I died
that the grass was greener On the other side.
but I came to find out that that was a lie,
the grass was burned on the other side.
Scorching hot and not remaining
My mind woke up no longer refraining.
I opened my eyes and there it was the
monster of lies, truth, and dispair.
I’m friends with that monster it’s my only hope,
I told my friends they thought it was a joke.
If your reading this now, know I’m not lying
and if I am I’m sorry Im trying.
i’m actually so totally done. i keep fighting with my mother, and i can’t get along with any of my friends unless we’re getting high together. my dad, the most important person to me and my only hope to get out of this hell with my mom, has decided he doesn’t want me full time. i’m now way behind in school and i’m late every class and i can’t seem to get anything right.
i’m 14 and i already am willing to die. if someone handed me a gun right now, i’d point it at my head and shoot. but life isn’t that simple and i’ll […]
I need help. I can’t do this anymore. I’m sick of life. I don’t want to live. It’s like I’m screaming and no one can hear me. I am so depressed. I have people at school who hate me. This one boy I have liked for ages said to me that if I’m happy he’ll go out with me, I’ve got no chance now.. I need a reason to be happy, a reason to smile, a reason to enjoy life, a reason to wake up on a morning, but so far I can’t find a reason.. Please can someone help me, it’s my only hope, […]
My first true love, my high school sweet heart, my everything, the reason for being alive is now barely keeping me alive. I’m losing her every second of the day, I don’t know if it’s her or if it’s me but either way I’m feeling hopeless and abandon because I know she’s going to leave. Things ain’t the same I wish I could go back to when I was younger when our relationship was the best but I guess things happen for a reason, I just hope we’ll never end.
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