I never have been in this frame of mind. Where everything means nothing. I was a happy child. A good student. A great mother and then I was struck with a debilitating illness. My life was heavenly and now it’s beyond hell. I am limited to doing nothing because I am so ill. Is laying in bed by the force of this disease, day by day, minute by minute living. I have had enough of this suffering. It is beyond cruel. To be not aware of this living hell is my only hope. It’s closer than I think.
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I’ve felt this pain and still am, yet it is not a disease, but a debilitating injury. I have laid, waiting in place, for almost four months. The separation from my family, my friends, society and indeed myself is immeasurable. I have no doubt that you were a good student and great mother, which saddens me to say the least that your life’s accomplishments will come undone with this one foul swoop.
Whoever you are, wherever you are; I wish you all the best, given the dire circumstances.
SHEPARD, THANKS FOR YOUR COMMENT. I AM TRULY SADDENED BY YOUR INJURY AND ISOLATION IT IS HARD TO HANG ON WHEN NO ONES BEEN THERE THAT CAN UDERSTAND YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES. MY LIFE THOUGH IS NOT LIVING. ITS EXISTING WITH EXTREME TORTURE FROM MY DISEASE. I HAVE THOUGHT THIS OUT IN A STATE OF MIND THAT I DIDN’T KNOW I HAD. ITS LIKE MY BODY KNOWS IT CAN’T PUSH ON. MY DAY WILL COME SOON. ITS REALLY SICK THAT HUMAN SUFFERING IS DEADLY.