I guess the days are painful. A type of pain that will never go away. There is nothing I can do about it. Nothing that anyone can do about it. The pain will never stop. I cry for help, but there is no point. The pain will never subside. The more I beg my mind for mercy, the more in punishes me. The mind is powerful, finding enjoyment and release in the most painful of things. The splitting and burning sensation of ones skin, the self inflicted pain creating such indescribable pleasure is frightening. The pain is good.
Tag:
painful
I honestly see all these posts about how the short drop is the most painful and it takes a long time but is it really? I’ve tried partial suspension and that’s not painful at all. It’s just like pressure, that’s it. I do wonder how the short drop would take any longer and be anymore painful? I mean it still cuts off your circulation so you are bound to pass out, but i doubt it would take 5 min. Can someone explain??
My life hasnt been living…its just been a slow and painful trip down to the grave….no one gives a shit about me…if I were to drop dead no one would care. Would anyone care to know why I want to slit my wrists every night? would it matter if I did???
She picks up the tiny sharp object,
only to put it back down.
She tries to forget, but only reflects,
so much that she wants to drown.
They think she won’t break
but, oh lord, do they not know?
“I need to explain,” her hand shakes,
“My lowly tale of woe.”
Her heart is a drumbeat beating,
the rhythm is slow and steady.
“Why is life so bittersweet?”
She writes and clutches her teddy.
Hurt has left her feeling alone,
everyone else has done the same.
She wished she hadn’t picked up the phone
that cold september day.
“Slut” the phone spoke,
the words piercing her heart.
“*****” her […]
Drowning in the despair of my mind,
peace of soul I cannot find.
Demons are raging inside of me,
break my cage and set me free.
Trapped in a vicious game called life,
Sending only pain, loss, and strife.
Maybe one day I can leave this place,
I will be gone, without a trace.
I have no one to leave behind,
free of the war inside my mind.
We wanted to live not suffer,
All our hopes and dreams were smothered.
We’re all living, quietly bleeding,
suffering here, painfully breathing.
Nothing to live for, nothing to lose,
years and years of constant abuse,
All […]
I don’t know what to say, so I’ll just ramble.
For the past two weeks the only thing that has been on my mind is putting a gun to my head and pulling the trigger.
Three years ago I would have said that there may still be hope for me. Five years ago I would have said that suicide is a cowards way out. But now, I see it a bit differently.
Now, I see just how much strength it takes to abandon whatever it is that convinced you to stay for so long and enter permanently the into the unknown. I understand that it isn’t a way […]
Well I think I’ve finally reached that point.
I’ve been waiting and waiting for the chance to speak to you, to clear the air, to try and mend this broken thing you left.
The pain is utterly unbearable. It is consuming me, erasing anything that was left of who I am.
Now I am just pain and god it hurts so much and it just won’t stop.
I dread going to sleep because the dreams are so painful; in them you forgive me and we are happy again and it’s like I am made of air.
I dread waking up because the pain is instantaneous; […]
it’s scary
not knowing what’s on the other side
not knowing how the exit will go
some claim to know the answer
but they profess their belief and not a fact
in my mind it swirls
will i be in pain?
will i linger?
i imagine all black on the other side
no feeling, no emotion, no individual consciousness
there’s no joy or accomplishment or love
but there’s no fear or pain or anger either
i would make that trade
the grass does seem greener on that other side
am i wrong?
can i do better for myself over here?
the neutrality of death is appealing
on this side i’m a pessimist
over there it’s not possible
while all of experience might be expressed […]
From everything that I have read on here most want a painless death. I do too. But I give up. It seems that the only options available are painful and dirty or gruesome. And I want death so much that I am willing to go through the pain. After all it will only be a few minutes. What is that compared to a lifetime of pain?
I watch, with dry eyes, as my freedom, my one true escape from despair, burns before me. The fire roars and crackles, spitting out white sparks wildly and furiously. I feel my eyes turn pink and my skin dry and tighten as the remaining happiness lifts from my body, like the heat rises from the flame. I try to grasp my freedom, and save it from the torturous fire but my fingers blister and burn with the slightest touch.
Why must this happen to us? Instead of being strong and fighting for my freedom, like the majority of others, I give up after the first […]
I don’t know what to say, what to do, or who I should tell? Should I make a video? A post online? A note? Or should I simply disappear, leaving no explanation. If they cared enough they’d already know what the cause was. By now, I’m sure from the context of the title and the website I’m at you can conclude I’m talking about the big day.. the day I die. Or maybe I don’t die? Maybe I’m reborn. My god, if that’s the case I just want to live a happier life next time. Oh, and my deadline is in August. I don’t know exactly when […]
hello . this my first comment on this site. where to begin . well things are not good atm. I’ve no prospects. bad luck with money . no chance in hell getting into college so there goes my dream job of being a web developer . combined with the fact I’ve an awful case of dyspraxia which means I struggle with simple tasks. I’m 24 years old living a nightmare everyday. I struggle everyday afraid of what this year will bring. I see death as an answer . I tried to hang my self back in 08 but fucked it up of […]
Humans aren’t born with an innate sense of fear, we’re taught to fear things in life. I fear knives and falling; and for that very reason opted to not take my life that way. But bleeding to death and falling from a significant height is not only fatal, but you pass out relatively quickly or die instantaneously. They’re methods that I’ve been avoiding because of my stupid fear of driving the knife through my abdomen or free falling to the ground. Fuck the plastic bag and struggling! Fuck the tight closet that is completely useless! I’m going to stab myself and whether I become […]
I sometimes miss what could have been- some people wont get that and wonder how I could miss something I’ve never experienced first hand, but I guess you don’t really need to understand it. My life is too full of what ifs, maybes, and day dreams of what I want myself and my life to be like. I think I stopped trying to live “here” a long time ago, I live in my head now because facing what is right in front of me is too painful. I cringe at the thought of acknowledging  my life, both past and present. Yet I am obsessed with […]
I realized I want awful things to happen in my life, so it decipts how bad I feel inside. I want to hide behind an awful event so people think I have a reason to be sad, because people never believe feelings can get so painful, to the point you hurt physically. To the point you want to kill yourself. They need something concrete.
One year ago, my father died, and just a few minutes before I learned he had passed away, I found a small part of myself feeling okay with the prospective of him dying, so I could hide behind that event. Not […]
Hi,
I’m thinking ’bout it again, it’s like a dream ’bout dying. You know just to forget everything, the stress is just to much.
I’m sure I will cut again, but still gonna go to school tomorrow.
When I tell someone what is happening to me, they just have those eyes that are cold and painful to watch.
I hate to open up to people.
I so wanna end all of it.
But there is the guilt, what are my family and close friends gonna think and fell?
I just want my blood to flow out of my body, drop after drop.
And maybe the gushing out part is gonna be the best!
I […]
Has anybody (obviously you have) gotten to the point when you feel like you’ve run out of tears? You want to cry, let it out, you need it, but somehow you can’t? Numbness slowly taking over day after day… I would give anything to be able to cry my heart out right now. It’s just what you need sometimes.
Death cannot be worse than this numbness. Nothing is. We all know that no pain is much more painful than what we call pain…
Not feeling at all,
PURPLEPAIN
I’m 19 years of age and in need of  a way out of this world. I just can’t deal with the stress and hurt any longer. Sure it goes away for a few days maybe even weeks but this horrible feeling come back with vengeance all the time. Even more powerful and even longer than before. It’s always on and off and all I wanna do when I feel that way is sleep because I can escape. I’m failing college and loosin all my friends one by one. I am truly alone. My parents would flip if they knew I was failing, and more than likely […]
Normally I would’ve put my poem here, but it’s too hard not believe it. Everything is collapsing. My friends are gone. My music is fading out. My happiness, which is my friends happiness, is slowly disappearing. I guess now it’s my turn. It’s been a long road. It’s been painful. How am I supposed to stay with all this pain pushing me down?
So, it’s back. 8 yrs of pain. 4 years clean. 389 or something cuts. More are being added. It’s back. And it’s prolly gonna stay for equity a while.
Why? I had 6 people to go to.
1. Samantha. She is too busy with her life to bother with a cutters issues.
2. Rachael. She hardens me because a douchbag (the one that causes painful reminders) spread stuff around, and made her believe i am a liar.
3. Jessica. Hardly see her, and she’s too worn out to even notice my presence.
4. Brody. I see him in the day. But once schools out. . .
5. Josh. He has begun […]