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The Thing I Can’t Decide

by Aberration
written by Aberration

Lately, I’ve been trying to determine if I was born broken or if my life made me this way.

I mean, I can go down the list of my life experiences and lay out a path of the things that seem to have lead up to the way I am now. But, might not a better person, with better DNA or a better soul or whatever you believe to be at the core of us, have reacted differently to the same kind of life. Maybe I’m just not meant to be well, or worthy or happy.

I can’t sleep much at all anymore. My mind just races […]

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living for them

by theraven
written by theraven

Sometimes I wish I was normal but that’s never going to happen. Life is supposed to get better but I doubt that. All I feel is numbness and it’s better than the pain I felt before. The only thing stopping me from going through with suicide is my best friends wouldn’t be able to handle my death well. My mom stopped caring about me a long time ago but my dad would go crazy without me with him. I refuse to live for myself, I only live for them, although I don’t care about myself, I care too much about others to put them through […]

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…

by haley_14633
written by haley_14633

Im so tired. Of everything. Im 16, divorced parents since I was young. Two half sisters. One with a disease which will end her life one day. There’s constant fighting about it. That’s all I ever hear anymore. To make it even better, my little sister talks about how she wants to hurt herself. She got that idea from me, because I’ve gotten caught cutting. Im not good at anything, there’s something wrong with every part of my body. I laugh with my best friend but if we aren’t together im worthless. I disgust myself. And there’s nothing I can do. I want to end […]

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what to do?

by fakingit
written by fakingit

WTF! so we get a call from the pharmacist and i answered it and i find my dad is still high heavy pain killers and overdosing, i give the phone to my mom and she hangs up crying my parents are getting divorced. i dont know what i feel or what to do, that was shocking and i didnt see it coming.

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sick and tired of being sick and tired

by k4s9b3
written by k4s9b3

I’ve always wanted to die, ever since I was a child, I have no idea why. When I was a child and I believed in god, I prayed not to wake up the next day. And yet, I had a normal childhood. It seems that I have a tendency towards depression. Well, the years have passed and I imagined killing myself in so many ways that I can’t even remember them all. Now I’m all alone but I’m fine with loneliness, in fact, I think I want to be alone. I’m sick and tired of this crazy world and all the people, I want a […]

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I don’t know why I was born

by depressionsux
written by depressionsux

I am the third and youngest child in my family. My eldest brother David has never been nice to me no matter how hard I have tried, and recently he told me I am no longer his sister. My other brother Timothy was born with brain damage and got all of the attention from my parents. I was always ignored and my parents never realised I have had depression for a very long time. Even now that I have been diagnosed, they still don’t believe me. Of course it’s okay for my brother David to be depressed but not me.

My so called friends were never […]

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Feeling worthless

by kindalostkid
written by kindalostkid

I’ve been dealing with depression for over 2 yrs. now. And I’ve attempted suicide multiple times from taking pills to OD, to crashing my car. I used to cut all the time when I got really upset. I told my “2nd mom” about all this and she was really worried one day I told her I wanted to die. And me her and her daughter (my ex) went to a hospital for me to get help I took a couple classes and hated it, it wasn’t helping so I left. I went on medication for my depression doctors not knowing I was suicidal. I still […]

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Help.

by faith099
written by faith099

I need help on how to stop cutting. I have 50+ cuts on my upper leg and I would like to know I could stop. I look at my leg and see nothing but blood and how swollen it is. I just want to sto. I don’t know how to though. I’m affraid I’m going to get caught by my parents and they will put me in a mental hospital. I can’t go to one of them. They will just drug me up and make it numb. I want to find the core to my pain. I don’t think it is just because of what […]

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So You want to end your life? Think there’s no hope, and you have nothing to live for? READ THIS…. Email me if you think differently , or just talk to me because I CARE , wether you believe it or not ♥

by alexaawearsprada
written by alexaawearsprada

 

Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.” No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.” No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.” They will die. Their hearts will break. They will hurt, more than you […]

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My friends are everything…

by faith099
written by faith099

I just let my two friends read my first post. They both showed me that maybe there is hope for me. N o I am not cured from this disese but they will make it better. They try to give me anti depressants and I have stop taking them cause they do no good. I have so much depression and my friends relize this and want to be there for me. I feel good knowing someone is there to be with me whn I am crying non stop.I hope that nothing ever happens to tthem. I would fall aoart and would definatly not be here […]

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My Very First Post

by Sarah96
written by Sarah96

Hi, I’m Sarah. I’m 16 years old. I have thoughts of suicide all the time. I hide behind the smiles I show to people so they won’t judge me. They tell me to go cut myself or go kill myself. Sometimes its my brother telling me too. I know he’s joking but I feel that he’s meaning it too. I have thoughts about doing it but never following through because I have a friend that is the same why as me. I don’t want to have this thoughts but I feel as if this urge is getting stronger and one day I won’t be able […]

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Is life worth living?

by faith099
written by faith099

Well I ask you all. Is this world worth livng in anymore? I can’t find very many reasons for it to be. And I’m so young I should be enjoying life but instead I’m depressed andd looking for a way out. I’m to chiken to kill myself though. I don’t wanna die in pain. I want to die fast and not painfull. And I sure as hell don’t want to come back. Yes my parents and friends may miss me but they would have to understand I can’t handel it anymore. I’m not gonna go anywhere in life. I will probally become a drug addict […]

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FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!! Still here.

by blsdaniel
written by blsdaniel

On the plus side, I did finally purchase the second shotgun needed for the exit. On the bad side, I seem to have talked myself into going back and “trying one more time.”

It is incredibly stressful to wake up and realize that today’s the day you promised yourself you would kill yourself. By the middle of the day, you’ve talked yourself out of it…again…and convinced yourself that there’s too many people who love you to go out now without trying one more time.

I’d like to think that knowing that there are two loaded shotguns waiting at home with its name on them would convince my […]

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Week In Hell

by NeverPerfect
written by NeverPerfect

My girlfriend is leaving for camp right now, for a week, with no communication and without me. I’d love to go with her – I tried to, but my parents lagged signing me up for the camp, until finally we missed the deadline.

My parents keep telling me, “It’s only a week – you two spend too much time together anyway, you’ll survive,” but that doesn’t stop me from crying. I love her, and I miss her. We rely on each other to take care of each other, since both of our lives are overwhelming shitpiles. Just the thought of a week with absolutely no communication with her kills me inside.

I know she’ll come […]

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Why does it matter?

by TheChoiceThatChangedHer
written by TheChoiceThatChangedHer

I’ve never written a suicide letter before, or maybe I have, they were surely times in my life when I should have.

But how to you even begin without sounding terribly clique’ and readable? I guess I’ll never know, because really you can’t know until you’re dead and everyone has read the letter. I hope mine gets stolen and passed around the local schools. I’ll write tons of terrible secrets I’ve kept inside about everyone I know and let my down fall create such conflict that they forget I’m even gone. Even in death I long to make suffering controllable.

But those are for later […]

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anyone out there?

by jellyfish71
written by jellyfish71

Hi. I’m a 19-year-old female college student. I’ve never posted on this site before, but it keeps coming up when I do suicide method research. My desire to kill myself has gotten much worse, very quickly. I don’t know what to do. Please keep reading, if you have time. I need someone, anyone. Help?

I’ve been depressed since I was 13. I grew up with a perpetually angry and violently abusive mother and a cold, neglectful father. They made me believe that I wasn’t good enough to be liked, and that I would never be unless I was perfect. I still can’t shake it- I know […]

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Frozen World

by Jrake
written by Jrake

I feel so lost, empty, broken…. Frozen… My story is a complicated one, and may seem silly, or tragic, or maybe I’m not seeing what really is here. I’m sick of the hate and small minds of this world, so don’t any of you creatures say anything evil, and open your minds to try and understand this…

I’m one of the most understanding people in this world, full of light, acceptance, true heart and everything thats good, and truly know whats REALLY right from wrong. Growing up, I had the perfect life, amazing friends who I loved, great family, even though sometimes I was a brat, […]

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Despair

by estherg
written by estherg

It is terrible to live with so much tension. I have had so much psychiatric treatment that my mind is going blank and it is difficult to think creatively anymore. My family doctor has also recommended that I belong to the addictions population, the people that have severe difficulties in life. I have so much trauma that I wish to kill myself, except I am afraid of pain. My parents are aging and when they get older, according to Chinese custom, I may not be able to take care of them; rather, their care may belong to someone else. I am hated by many – […]

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15 and tired of life..

by help._.
written by help._.

So to to make it as short as i can..im a 15 year old girl living in a tiny town out in the middle of no where, i have a few friends that are close..but i just finished my freshmen year, and im back almost all my credits because i missed to much school, when i used to get straight A’s the middle school.. because i couldnt even handle getting out of bed everyday, and facing all those happy people, with there boyfriends and girl friends, and there cute clothes, which i cant get only because my size..and all my friends seem to have boyfriends […]

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