Is it weird that I don’t want to stop cutting? Like it’s been a part of me for four years. When I tried to throw my razors away I literally cried. I feel as if I deserve everything I do to myself. Like cutting isn’t a cry for help or a cry for attention. Cutting is just a coping method or a punishment in a way. It’s hard to explain. It’s just so confusing and ughhhhh.
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im sitting here and have a blank mind i feel numb spaced out like if my life moves on and im part of nothing around me disconnected completely from the world yet im sitting here at work
I feel rejected by the outside world. I am not sure where I fit in anymore. I am very sad today and hurt because I am not the same person I was before a couple weeks ago after my attempt. I am grateful to be here but I’m very lonely and confused. If anyone can help I would appreciate knowing how you came to accept your life. I am part of a community that believes I relapsed but even admitting that I still feel depressed and crazy in my head. What can I do?
Can someone please give me some advice!
My boyfriend broke up with me after two years it would have been three on the 18 and it hurts like hell and two days later he got a new girlfriend he wasn’t cheating on me with her he just found some girl that liked him and they got together after he dumped me. The worst part is that i have to see them making out in the hallways and its just been two days after our brake up i still love him and this hurts so much seeing that. I have all my classes with them!! you […]
So yeah, the title says it all, im new around here. I guess this is the part where im suppose to tell you how i came to be here, but that is a long and very boring story.
Mostly it is a by product of my own stupidity and selfishness that forced me to slump into isolation and despair. Im not looking for any sympathy just some like minded people who have had enough of this miserable world. So far my prospects seem a little bleak. No offense but some of you here are just a buzz kill. Anyway i didn’t come here to once again […]
It is said that 63% of the autistic people, particularly those with the lower spectrum thinks of suicide. 37% already attempted or died from suicide. I am one of them of the 63%
The feeling of not being accepted is a very painful one. That is the only tip of the iceberg. I have gotten over the fact people will never accept and understand me whoever I want. However, the sad part, I have succumbed to the temptation I am no longer able to accept who I am.
My university friends has been extremely nice to me and encouraging despite my horrible result. […]
I should probably start this post out by admitting to one thing- I am not suicidal. I am not suicidal but I am looking for help and to understand. My best friend and life partner is looking to kill himself and he has been wanting to talk about it with me, more and more, lately. These conversations end with him yelling because I don’t understand this very big part of him and me crying because the idea is just to painful for me to take in- being without my best friend. His habits of self-inflicted injury are becoming daily and I am at a loss […]
Life sucks. It’s pretty simple. When you are born…your mother shits and pisses herself (at least most women do). So you’re born into shit and piss. When you die…you defecate yourself. Your life begins and ends in shit. And do you know what is all through your life? Shit. We do our best to get through it. But it’s all shit. People are fake liars. And even the best of us (humans/mankind) are pretty fucking terrible. Nothing good ever lasts. The pain and loneliness of life just builds and mounts. We sleep, eat, work, pay bills, go through heartache, headaches, financial problems, have families that […]
I’m just so sick of being sad, the worse part is I can’t explain why I’m even sad… I wrote a note and it seemed like I was drunk and crazy at the same time, it makes sense in my head but I can’t get it out…. I find myself researching ways to end it that won’t upset people if they find me, why am I so worried still about pleasing people
I don’t know where to start. If I could choose this story would be a lot longer. I want to tell you a part of my suicide story.
Please, I know that when you are young you have your whole life ahead of you. But it doesn’t apply on me because I dont feel my age. Though my physical body is 17. So just bare with me.
Last year I started in a new school at the age of 16. I started there completly alone, with no one I knew. We where well prepaired for 3 years of studying by the teachers who made sure that everyone […]
God loves a fool. That is the reason I am still here. It is not because I have strong survival skills. My parents was proud of having a strong baby girl overcoming autism.
Unfortunately, I am not. I think it is a mistake they made for having me. Somehow I think I am burden to them as well as to this world. I guess if it weren’t for me, the autistic kid, my sister and brother could have turned out well . I grew with the world centering around me . I spent my entire childhood visiting psychiatrist, trying all kinds of things […]
I cant get anything right. I’m on my 4th attempt, every other attempt would have worked for anyome else but it seems like the world just wants me to suffer.
I wrapped my car around a tree at 120mph, climbed out of the roof and walked away not a scratch on me.
I highsided my motorbike in excess of 130mph, and just rolled into a ditch, not a scratch on me.
I locked myself in a tiny bathroom, sealed all the vents, with 4kg of smouldering charcoal, and I woke up with nothing but a headache.
I have 2.6g of Sertraline, 24g of Paracetomol, and 8g of Ibuprofen. I […]
I love u so much…..I don’t think you realize how what you do affect me…..you cry I cry, you laugh I laugh…..I would give my life to save yours…..your very existence means the world to me…..your existence is the reason I still exist myself…..if anything ever happened to you a part of me would disappear…..and not just a little part that can be fixed and mended over time…..a giant hunk of me…..a part of me that can never be just taped back together with time….a part of me that would forever be broken…..I don’t know if I would be able to go on wothoght you….The […]
This is just one part of my life that is causing me pain. I used to describe my self as kind, sweet, and caring. Now I describe myself as a slut and a liar. I just turned 19 and I lost my virginity two months ago. That wouldn’t be so bad except that I’ve already slept with three guys in those two months. I usually don’t have sex sober, way too insecure about my scars. Now onto the liar part. My relationship with the second guy, lets call him Jeff, is friends with benefits but we both said that we wouldn’t sleep with other people. […]
I was intoxicated by the feeling in the air, faint wisps of pizza and beer filling my being.
It was a graduate program alright, but the campus itself reeked of undergrad shenanigans. Most people find it gaudy, but I love the community atmosphere of a uni campus. It’s a sexually incestuous band of merry vagabonds, topped off with general studies classes that force a modicum of higher thinking that is generally expressed in smoke filled dorm rooms. Well, at least a chemically induced impulse to think outside the box.
Logging more hours than I care to think about on the road to the university, my mood was […]
I don’t know how to. How do you just spill out the contents of a bottle that has been filling up for the past few years? The nightmare I’ve been so afraid of, is finally here.
It won’t be easy to pour out everything. I’ve gotten so used to storing this within me, it’s part of my life already. Oh how I wish I could tell you. But I don’t know how to. I suck. I really do. I am sorry.
I’ve already figured out how I’m going to do it, I’m just struggling on the when part. Is there ever a right time? I’d do it today but my daughters birthday is thursday. Should I wait till after? I just don’t know if I can bear the pain till then. I know the hold that a death anniversary holds on people so I’m trying to be considerate of that. But like I said, I don’t Know if I can bare to go through another day. I’m so done.
StruggleOn here! Part fennec fox and part dead again. And I have nowhere to trust but here so…
Shit has been going on. Its all just bullshit though. You know when you try so hard for somebody but nothing makes them better? That’s kind of how this is. I don’t even care if it helps I just need it to be accepted. Again and again I am beat down. Hopelesness once again engulfed me. Now I’m stuck. I feel helpless and confused and wonder if I’ll ever deserve somebodies love…
Dear mom,
I know this will hurt you for as long as you live. I don’t know what to say to ease the pain I’m going to cause, but I know that ‘sorry’ changes little. Though I will tell you why I did this, I know you’ll still be overwhelmed, confused, and hurt. Everything that was going through my head before I did this can be found in the Notes and Momento apps on my iPod if you’re interested. Everyone will probably think that this was an irrational decision done on impulse, but it wasn’t. There was a lot of thought put behind it, and there […]
The guy I thought I loved, well I didn’t love him. That guy I considered my best friend, he wasn’t ever truly my best friend. The relationship I thought I had the one that felt like magic, I didn’t have one it was all an illusion. I had hope, faith, I still fucken believed like some idiot. I still had feelings for him, now that part of me, that hope, those dreams and beliefs are all dead and gone. He cheated on me with her who knows for how long and they are dating. All I can do is laugh because he couldn’t let me […]