I’m not sure why I sneak out of bed every night, get my pistol and just stare at it for hours instead of simply pulling the trigger in my garage.
All my problems will come scretching to a halt, with one tiny trigger pinch.
Why the hell is this so hard????????????????
One of the worst nights I’ve had in some time. I cut for the first time in months. I just can’t take it anymore. It feels like I roam the earth each day as a zombie, and I just don’t feel alive anymore. Fuck it. I just don’t want to do it. I would love to be the owner of a small pistol right now, and after seeing how everything has played out, I find it very unlikely that I will allow myself to live for much longer. I know no one cares, but I needed to talk about this, and I have no friends […]
So here I am after failing the first time. Let’s go back to the night of the 26th of May, for the full story.
I was feeling awful that night, it was another one of my bouts of guilt and depression. But this one was different, while normally, they happen for no apparent reason and last for a few hours, half a day at most, this one lasted for 3 days, after an incident with a boy from my class. We’ll say he wasn’t well-liked, and he was awkward, sweaty and not the best looking either. He came up and asked to be my partner for […]
i found this site by accedent. i am 34 single parent that has lost everything exept my child. found something to hold me up and now i am loosing that to and i havent been coping and dont think i can cope anymore. the crying, the pain just won’t stop. it is now wensday i haven’t slept since fryday. every one tells me to hang on God will make it all beter. when is he going to do it when i sit with a pistol placed and cocked behind my ear. plus everyone thinks they know what i am going throu, but its not them going throu […]
Im 60 years old, was married for 25 years, 3 kids, 5 grandkids. Been divorced for 4 years now. Divorce was difficult since kids sided with the mother, but have since come back around. I was somewhat emotional about divorce but more upset about kids. Been dating since and has had its good and bad. 2 years ago I met a lady that rocked my world!!! She is awsum. Problem is I wouldnt commit and I messed up by pushing her away somewhat during a major house buying and renovating project. 2 weeks ago she dumped my sorry ass!!! I am devasted, been crying like […]
I’m that guy that has been shit on more than anybody knows. Early days as a kid I was harassed daily and tormented by fellow classmates because of my mothers crack addiction. The only reason they knew was because their parents did drugs along with my mother. Was born with a bad foot which pretty much opted me out of any sports or doing well as I could. Shyness throughout the years was difficult to deal with as I learned to talk to females and learn what they wanted and what they saw. My father has been in prison all my life and haven’t read […]
My housemate of 2 years and friend of 10 shot and killed himself in May of this year (2012). Â I was downstairs and had texted him to ask if he wanted some scrambled eggs I was making. Â I heard him walking around, but he never answered my text. Â Later, afterward, I looked at his phone and I saw my text message had been read. Â He knew I was up, he knew I was home. Â Twelve minutes after I sent the text I heard a sound like a box had been dropped on the floor. Â For some reason I noted the time. Â This sound was loud […]
Why is it, that life is so worthless even when everything is going right, i`ll tell you why:
I want some love ( not getting any)
I want an F***** break ( i`m frustrated with life)
I want to think clearly ( too much pain)
I need to stop whining ( f*** how?)
I want to stop excessive worrying ( 24/7 nuff said)
I want to be strong and have no anxiety ( Exercise doesn`t work)
I can`t afford therapy ( too much debt and my insurance company doesn`t cover a shrink)
pistol in one arm………………………………BANG
signal lost………………………..
i am 22. i am a new mother. i live to try and make the love of my life happy.
not too long ago, i chose to have a child with this man not only because i love him, but i knew he could be the wonderful husband, father and companion i have always dreamed of. we had a son almost a year ago, and they are my entire world.
i have always understood that we were completely different people but knew we could make a great life for our son and ourselves. after the baby arrived, the ex girlfriend came back into the picture. little did […]
I shouldve tried harder last night. I wake up this morning, I find out that I failed every assignment I handed in. I officially have failed highschool. I’ll have to retake all of sophomore year. My girlfriend got ridiculed about me n I about her, so she hasn’t even looked at me today. My best friend tried to kill herself n is back in the hospital. My two other friends both were gone today. I got blamed for shit I didn’t do and I got a detention. I destroyed my hip flexor so that ends my track career. My parents destroyed my piece n my […]
Why is it that ALL I feel is pain?
My days are always getting flooded full of rain.
I say this bathtub is blooded, watchin all this blood drip.
Just ONE more cut across maybe down both wrists.
My wish, is to be in my world.
This is the most I’ve ever bled, my brain is getting fed up with all this bull shit.
Maybe I should get a pistol and find that full clip.
Yeah!, I think that’ll work, but then again I want the pain to hurt. I like slow pain.
Just one more cut, I promise this is IT.
Where’s my pills […]
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I fucking live off coffee and cigarettes, to be honest i just don’t give a shit , thats deff another lie, affirmed by my predisposition to cry. I claim to be emotionless when really I’m overrun by it. You all see a smile, but not whats inside, its just a mask i use to hide. I’m giving you what you want, now its up to you to conceive, in reality it has nothing to do with me. Over the years I’ve grown to see , that you don’t want to […]
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