Why am I still here? I have everything prepared for my death. I have a miserable life and I don’t want to improve anything because I have absolutely no strength to do so and I hate life anyway. I believe that good moments aren’t worth living for. And it’s not worth to live as me especially. I’m damaged to the point where nothing can make me happy. So, what the hell am I waiting for. Is it just fear of the unknown? Is it just because I can’t imagine not being able to observe life anymore, or what will they do with my body, or […]
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point
There is no point in floating away from this. I want to drown in this feeling. Swirling and turning my whole world upside down and throughout the insides of my soul. To the depths of this ever so sweet suffocating embrace.
Far off from the dust of the earth surface, where kings have failed but still fall back in place.
Down in my luck, to the tide sweeping love beneath my feet. Low in behold, below fire and smoke. Bringing this all to a close…
Too cold to move on
And too sweet to hold!
Keep me drowning….please? I beg for it if you’d be […]
today my mom was yelling saying she wanted to diee & i said me too so she told me to do it & she said she was gunna go home & take pills and kill herself because she didnt want to be a mother anymore and she was done with us (brother,sister & i) …………..i called the cops on her telling them that she was making threats about killing herself am i wrong ??…. i knw shes gunna hate me even more now and never talk to me because of that. my family probably gunna stop talkking to me as well…. im always the […]
Last night I came very close to an exit, I was ready, but I’m not sure what made me wait. I know some of it is my business responsibilities, I don’t want to let anyone down but I’m not sure why it matters so much to me? It’s not like their world won’t go on. I have decided I won’t exit in my apartment, I will take a road trip, no cell. I have enough meds stockpiled to shut my system down completely, just add alcohol. I’m so consumed by darkness – I’m physically never going to be well again, the doctors were plain about […]
All this fucking shit that has happened to me has played serious hell on my health. My work is extremely exhausting and I’ve been spilling more tears than I’ve been able to drink water. I’m about two metaphorical steps away from an actual emergency room visit. Some of you already understand how bad it is.
But the point is that the choice to recover is eminent! I can’t let myself sink so far off that it takes my life. I’m not done with it, there is still so much to do and see.
I’ve got 3 days off of work.. So I’m getting desperate for […]
There comes a point where you just stop reaching out. Stop asking for help, for encouragement, for company, for conversation, for love….for anything.
there comes a point when you just stop.
I’ve seen too many things painful in my lifetime. Too many painful memories. When I was in sixth grade, I learned of a type of music called screamo, and a type of people called emos. I loved being a part of them, they actually felt more human than others. I got bullied for hanging out with them, liking the songs/bands. My dad almost went to jail, and he was the only one who could make me smile at that point. My mum vocally abused me, so the scars would be in my heart, not skin. My dad was the only thing I had. After awhile […]
Never in my 18 years of this miserable life have I ever wanted to kill myself this much
I set myself limits “if you can make it to then you can make it” but recently I’ve never been this depressed . I just want to end all of this , I’m no good at anything , even my own parents thinks the worst of me so what’s the point anymore
I could be ending it all here. Not now, but soon, I just have to find the right time and method. One method I’ve been thinking about was overdose on fluoxetine and strepsils (hopefully they’ll kill me). I tried hanging but I can’t tie a noose for shit, I have no access to guns at all, and I couldn’t be able to drown myself nor could I find a heavy object to tie to my feet. But that’s beside the point, the point is that I could take my life pretty shortly. I just feel like everything’s falling apart and that if I die now […]
I suffer from depression, paranoia and loneliness, I really hate this life I lead,
there just seems no point to it, why do others have lives that they enjoy while I
struggle to get my backside out of bed each day. I dislike confident people most,
those who push themselves forward at the expense of others, I’m being swamped by them,
my voice drowned out. This guy at work is like those people, he thinks he’s so great,
always talking about himself and his wonderful life, I’m sure he talks about me to his
mates behind my back. I wish, and I may be pushing […]
I decided I won’t leave the site. Mostly out of loneliness. This past month has been an unbearable hell, losing two people I really, really cared for. I’ve been lost as to what to do with myself. I’ve been really battling just ending it, and now because I’ve been such a numb, lonely, distraught mess, I don’t even know if I deserve something as easy as suicide.
Maybe I deserve to suffer for another 60+ years. And I know people come and go out of your life, but too many people go and never come back. I literally have no one outside my immediate family (meaning only my […]
Hello, my name is Carter. I’ve just joined SP but I have been visiting it almost daily just reading for about 4 months now…Well I will be 19 in august I have been suicidal for roughly 2 years now, I wrote the following note may 13, 2014. At this point in time I haven’t chosen a date or how I’m going to do it. I am posting the note now because it best describes my emotions.
Life takes to much effort , but death is to much work. Without doing anything life is my choice but it makes for a sad existence, at least with death […]
To all my brothers and sisters going through rough times keep your head held high you made it to this point without failing.Hell something brought you to this website so theres got to be a reason youll still breathing. Find hope and learn to live happily i know shit always seems bad but youre strong enough to make it through. just think youve been through a whole lotta of other shit so you might as be able to withstan some more. find faith in yourself and bear through the storm youll be glad you never gave up. 🙂
Absolute reality, if it exists, doesn’t matter to the individual. What matters is the individual’s perception of reality because that’s all he or she knows. With that in mind, at what point does your subjective reality shift away from absolute (or should I say ‘collective’) reality?
This is what I mean: you might sleep about 6-10 hours a day, and the rest of the time you’re awake and conscious of reality. Well what if, through drugs or other means, you sleep 20 hours a day, leaving only 4 hours of “reality”? Do those 4 hours become insignificant?
I know what you’re thinking… of course not. Because our […]
I hate feelings. Why do I have to feel? Sometime I feel everything at once to the point where I end up having a mental breakdown or crying or hurting, but other days I feel nothing. I feel nothing and I don’t know how I feel and I want to get mad but I end up feeling nothing. So I don’t know what my problem really is now. I don’t know what’s worse either. Drowning in my own mind or dying from the thirst.
I dream of a world where people can just try to understand each other, rather than judge them for their problems. A world where no one is criticized for who they are and what they love. Unfortunately, a world of peace doesn’t exist.
I dream that I am on my own planet, where there is no misery, violence, hatred or discrimination, with only my closest friends, family members, animals and people who get me. Like I said… I dream. If only dreams could come true for those of us […]
I hate living life and I just want to die. But I don`t know how to effectively kill myself without fucking it up. I cannot mentally survive. This game of life is not for me. It`s torture! I don`t understand why we are not allowed to legally kill ourselves with help when we don`t want to live anymore. Fuck!. What`s the point of keeping people who are clearly unfit to live, who cannot function, alive? Fucking cruel. This life. This earth. Is hell. It`s a prison. It really is. I don`t understand any of it. Don`t want to participate in it. Why can`t we get […]
I think this is one of the most important unanswered philosophical questions at this time. Are you right now and you in a minute from now identical, apart from whatever experiences you may have made in this minute? (A) Is there something which identifies you as a distinct human being which is preserved over time?
You could for example imagine a duplication machine which copies every particle and all of it’s properties of an object and creates a new object with these particles which will be identical to the first object. (Let’s just assume this were scientifically possible (B) – which we don’t know of course […]
I was doing great for about a year. Started seeking PTSD treatments but unfortunately not a lot can be done at this point. So I’m taking my life tonight.
I tried my hardest and had a good run. See you in hell.
Good luck to everyone else on here. Live like I couldn’t.
I’m out. 🙂
I don’t know if I’m full-on suicidal. But I like the feeling of a blade on my skin, the blood running down my ankle, my neck, my arm, whatever it may be. I like the numbness it brings. Maybe that’s why I cut, to bring on the feeling that makes sure I can keep going for another day. But I was found out when I actually cut a word on my wrist. My docs blamed it on a medication I was taking, but I know better. Are any of you scared someone will find out that you’re suicidal, if people don’t know? Are you scared […]