Why am I still here? I have everything prepared for my death. I have a miserable life and I don’t want to improve anything because I have absolutely no strength to do so and I hate life anyway. I believe that good moments aren’t worth living for. And it’s not worth to live as me especially. I’m damaged to the point where nothing can make me happy. So, what the hell am I waiting for. Is it just fear of the unknown? Is it just because I can’t imagine not being able to observe life anymore, or what will they do with my body, or if my last will is respected? Why do I suddenly care about that??
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The instinctive desire to survive is incredibly powerful and extremely hard to overcome. It generally takes years for people to finally go through with the act of committing suicide. Perhaps you just need more time until you are fully ready to do it. Until then just go on about your life.
So it’s not unusual to feel it? good I’m not alone I guess. Still, feels weird because I’ve been suicidal for years so I’d have thought it’s enough to make me ready to do it. Oh well guess I was wrong. Maybe I’ll find a way to trick my mind that I’m not really about to drink a lethal amount of drug but just something else. Hahah…
Maybe because you want to live :/
But you don’t like your lifestyle so you think that death will be the easiest solution
Ask yourself few questions that may help you to understand what you really want
What’s the meaning of happiness!
what make you happy ?
Have you try to make yourself happy or you just relate your happiness to money or people
If think so
then try to go somewhere where you don’t know any one and don’t take much money with you only enough for you to buy food and get back to home
Choose place where there’s nature more than people animals trees water no cars no buildings no stress
I’ve always thought if lose all my hope I and I have enough money to travel out of my country I would go to place where I can find poor nice people like Africa and I would live for a while with those amazing people I would learn the pure happiness from them they maybe having hard life but when they smile you can see that they mean it ..bright smile I would help them building houses for them with my hand of course o don’t have money 🙂
I would play with their children and teach them my language and learn their’s I would cook for them and try their food and after i live with them in their hard times and good times I would go back to my normal life and change a lot
People think that death is like sleeping for ever in the darkness what if you where wrong !
the point is find your happiness every one have different kind of happiness some people may think I’m crazy for my opinion about happiness but I don’t care this is my thoughts and it make me happy
I don’t say I hate money I love money but it can’t be my source of happiness cuz I may lose money anytime
take care of yourself and give it try
* the kind of places I’m thinking about like the one in Lindsey stirling’s we found love video 🙂 ?
I’,m not crazy about money either, and I don’t really need them to be happy, even though I’m rather poor. Of course I would rather live and be happy than die, but the things I want for happiness cannot happen. People you mention… the poor ones who still can be happy… it’s just like with anyone else who has it harder. Generally, I don’t think that life is worth all that pain. I guess I will go for a short trip next week, live in a cheap hotel for two days… and then see if I can do it. I really hope I will. It is impressive to me that people who have it a lot harder can still do something and be happy but I can not.
Because deep down you don’t want to die and you have hope that things will get better.
If you didn’t then you’d have thrown yourself off the first cliff you could find… but you’re here on this site contemplating your demise.
You have more strength then you think you have.
You should be proud of the fact you’re coping even with the burden on your shoulders. It’s the sign of a survivor.
Yes, I have everything prepared too and tell myself I will wait for my mum to go first. But if it wasn’t that it would be something else. I don’t really want to die. I’m just fed up of living this crappy life.
This is a result of your death instincts kicking in. Thanatos, Sigmund Freud etc; I don’t feel like writing.