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Letter to my abuser

by Stereotype
written by Stereotype

******TRIGGER WARNING for survivors of sexual abuse…  And cutters and those who are suicidal…  So everyone.

 

 

Dear Sick Bastard,

Yes you admitted to touching me, for kissing my 6 year old body.  I am much older now and the physical memory of your hands stroking me passes through my tortured mind often.  When I cut in every place you touched me I feel the shame and disgust again and again.  When I bleed I feel the relief that is promised to me.  You my prince my beloved uncle and I your little princess we played those roles so well didn’t we?  Now my only respite is the […]

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PTSD Trigger My Life has No Meaning

by Gale
written by Gale

My life has no meaning. I am triggered, PTSD. He said it, but it is not his fault. It is me, something inside of me. I can’t even remember what we were talking about. But the last thing I remember is he said, “I’ve done that. That industry [the industry I have worked in] is nothing special. It’s old technology. Everybody knows it. It’s not like you’re splitting an atom or something.”

My knowledge is nothing. My experience is nothing. I am nothing. My life has no meaning. That is the progression. There is no logical reason for me to live. I can’t make a meaningful […]

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Rational suicide

by Stereotype
written by Stereotype

I have argued against the idea of rational suicide in the past but lately…  I have been thinking – I am completely rational, not really depressed or in a PTSD mode and I have thought that suicide is the best option, most sensible really and probably the better way to leave this world…  By my hand, my choice.  Don’t worry my date isn’t for awhile now.  What do you think about suicide can it ever be a rational completely sane choice?

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My story

by littlerayofsunshine
written by littlerayofsunshine

About 5 years ago I attempted suicide, to this day I now suffer from PTSD resulting in never ending anxiety… it never stops or leaves me alone. That being said, suffering from body image and depression has always been a struggle for me, recently this summer I started cutting myself and now it seems to be the only thing that keeps me sane these days. Weird. I know.  But it’s something about the pain that reminds me i’m alive and still here, it’s like a horrible reassurance that I need to remind myself everyone now and then.

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$h!t

by Stereotype
written by Stereotype

Performance anxiety…  I have a presentation for school coming up, it’s on PTSD and I am comfortable with that topic but I am terrified about speaking in front of my classmates.  College sucks, for real.  It is not like speaking for work when I do that in public, though that terrifies me as well.  I need tips.  I have suicide as my out constantly but what the hell!  Why should I let a stupid presentation kill me.  Shouldn’t something romantic kill me?  Anyways, I am really impulsive and I keep envisioning my car racing headlong into a tree the night of this presentation…  I am […]

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PTSD help needed plz

by jellybeanz28
written by jellybeanz28

God I just wish this pain would go away. I actually slept a little today since I haven’t been sleeping at all the past couple weeks and then cleaned the house a bit to keep my mind off how much I want to die. I was doing good and then my PTSD hit fast and hard. I dropped the dish I was holding and it shattered on the floor as I crumpled into a ball. As the memories flooded my mind like a bad nightmare, I was shaking uncontrollably and had a hard time breathing. I was left with a new anger all over again […]

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i hate my life.

by heartbrokenn1
written by heartbrokenn1

I hate my life. I’m so depressed.. It all started about a year ago. There was this guy I had liked for a while and we finally started talking. The first few weeks, everything was great. We texted just about everyday. Exchanged the finest words. Things were perfect. Then suddenly one day it’s like he just forgot about me. He started tweeting about this other girl and it made me feel invisible. Once him and her stopped talking, we started again. Then another girl came into the picture. I hated seeing them flirt at school. Anyways, he’d flip flop back and forth between her and […]

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by rebelution
written by rebelution

Well my name is Christopher,  I’ve been dealing with depression roughly around 10 years and im a 25 year old. Let me say my journey has not been glamorous. I constantly have suicidal thoughts and have self inflict harm to myself. i do not only deal with depression. I deal with Anxiety, Depression, Agoraphobia, PTSD, and im impulsive. So I sometimes act without thinking clearly. I have my own psychiatric and therapist but im not sure if they help to much and I take prescription medicine aswell not much help either. Im not quite sure why I register to this project. I guess to find […]

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So tired

by Duva718
written by Duva718

Hi, i guess i just need to vent.  I am so tired of fightin urges to destroy myself. Will be 4 8soon.  Have been fighting this my whole life. I come from a family of major abuse, riddled with mental illnesss – schizophrenia, borderline personality, addiction.  I have complex PTSD that never got ack.owledged – I just got meds which didn`t work and ruined my health. Had my brain shocked.  I’m disabled now and completely isolated.  My friends got tired of me being depressed a.d I got tired of them telling me, “Hang in there, it will get better.

Last week a neighbor left me a […]

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Going tonight

by almp
written by almp

I was doing great for about a year. Started seeking PTSD treatments but unfortunately not a lot can be done at this point. So I’m taking my life tonight.

I tried my hardest and had a good run. See you in hell.

Good luck to everyone else on here. Live like I couldn’t.

I’m out. 🙂

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I’m Tired

by redrobin62
written by redrobin62

It seems like I’ve went as far as I can go. I’m at the end of the road. I don’t have any specific plans, though, just that I don’t want to be here anymore. I’m depressed and lonely. I have no job and I have no friends. I will probably be homeless in about two weeks because the rent went up where I live and I can’t afford it. I have no family members near me. We’re not close anyway. I take medication for anxiety and depression but they’re not helping. I’ve also been diagnosed with PTSD and Asperger’s Syndrome. This makes it very difficult […]

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I Overcame

by kbjett
written by kbjett

Hi.

I’m Katie, and I want to tell my story.

I was born into a pretty good family, with a dad and mom that loved each other and all that good stuff. When I was 5 though, they got a divorce, but the reason was good as a reason could be for divorce. My mom remarried to a man who sexually abused both of us until the day he decided to try to kill us. That was the day he went to jail. That was also the day where I started on this long journey of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (I have been diagnosed by a professional). I have flashbacks […]

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Finally they listen to me

by Engeltje
written by Engeltje

So about a month ago I switched from mental health institution. My first impression by my new mental health institution was really good, they were really understanding and REALLY listened to me. So I said that I thought that EMDR-therapy would probably (saying that to every therapist I meet for 2 years now, but nobody wanted to do that) and a week ago I started with that. I’m so glad that they finally listened to me, because I see so much improvements already after 3 sessions. And also my parents do. And also this institution confirm my feeling that I have PTSD. I still have […]

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just a pointless rant about nothing

by trappedinthought
written by trappedinthought

It’s crazy, I graduated high school at sixteen. I’m twenty now, and still only have two college classes under my belt because I can’t afford school working my crap job. I barely make enough to get by while eating only once or twice a day, and I can’t even work right now because my knee is too fucking damaged to walk on. Yet with all the things that I should be more worried about, I care more about the fact that I’m a magnet for stupid sluts while a girl that I can have an intelligent conversation with, or that hasn’t slept with […]

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Pretending

by Sunnygirl1
written by Sunnygirl1

Right now, I’m 20 hours away from the rest of my family and my friends. I’m taking online classes and getting new medication since I can’t get medication where I live.

It’s not very fun. I have therapy sessions every other day, doctor’s appointments, and I have my depression, paranoia, bipolarity, ptsd and ocd to deal with.

Guess what though? This is a vacation for me. When I go back to my school in November, the vacation’s over. When I go back, I have to plaster that smile back on my face. I’ll have to talk to my friends, pretend everything’s alright. It’s really exhausting to have […]

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I Found Him.

by fantasiaw
written by fantasiaw

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I don’t really know what else i can do anymore. Cameron died almost exactly a year ago (September 8 2013) and I am STILL not over it. I’ve gone to all the groups, I’ve been hospitalized for PTSD, I’ve got a new boyfriend who treats me like gold, I go out, I don’t talk about it all the time anymore. What else can I do to make it feel better.
The thing you have to know is Cameron and I were very much in […]

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I am sick of the pain

by wallawalla
written by wallawalla

And by pain, I mean physical pain.  I am sick of hurting all the time.  I am sick of not sleeping at night because I get these long, miserable headaches, and the treatment(s) are typically stimulants.  I feel nauseous and depressed and I just want to die.

I have PTSD from being ill.  I get flashbacks of when I was sickest.  I was lying spread-eagled on the floor, unable to move.  I could barely breathe.  I just lay there and stared at the ceiling, I don’t know for how long.  I remember crawling from my mattress to the kitchen to open a can of beans.  It […]

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I don’t understand…

by Azzanadra
written by Azzanadra

All the time I see these extravagant programs for Veterans with PTSD, or any other ailment they might have…

What about regular people…there are more non-militants in America that suffer from mental illnesses. About 1 in 3 to 1 in 4 adults suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder or disease in a given year. This amounts to about 70-80 million people out there alone and helpless. According to records, about 8% of American citizens will develop PTSD sometime during their lives. In 2005, 1.77 million American males committed suicide. 450,000 American females committed suicide.

There is little to no help for people in this situation, and I […]

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