Tag:

push

Why?

by okatonshadow 9/29/2015

written by okatonshadow

The questions everyone has been asking for a while now is “why?”. So, I’m now going to tell you why.

Humans are idiots. I’m not saying we should all die, but humans are idiots. If you have something big to live for, goals, dreams, whatever, go for it. But I don’t. The only thing keeping me up right now is my family, and that doesn’t feel like enough anymore. I move all over the place, so I don’t have any concrete friends. My favorite thing to do is read, because I can be taken into another world, and because books have a definite ending. It’s the […]

9/29/2015 7 comments

Enter my void …

by jadedkeizy 9/22/2015

written by jadedkeizy

Damn, I have gotten fired up these past few weeks. A strange zest for life cloaks me. I’ve been feeling so empowered to turn my life around. However, in the back of my mind I am always calculating my next existential crisis. I feel like my depression and anxiety might be hiding around the corner waiting to beat me down to a vegetative state. I don’t want that shit to happen man. I hate crying myself to sleep. And occasionaly I picture myself in a funeral suit, it makes me cringe. I hate these thoughts because they push me to the edge of insanity.

9/22/2015 1 comment

damn bass pro shop

by ismedyl 9/20/2015

written by ismedyl

today was supposed to be my death day i was jittery and scared but i knew that something would happen to push me to where i needed to be to go through with it… and i was right! something happens every day that reminds me why i want to die. So i got my gun from bass pro shop and then i figure out they don’t have the ammo for the gun so i drive to a dicks and they don’t have it either so i go to another dicks and i finally find the right caliper bullets and i get home and i start […]

9/20/2015 3 comments

by BlondeWig 9/19/2015

written by BlondeWig

It’s kind of sad how badly I want my therapist to tell me to just give up, sometimes I don’t know how much longer I can continue to push myself past this.

9/19/2015 0 comment

Saw Series ….

by jadedkeizy 9/19/2015

written by jadedkeizy

I am watching the Saw Series and the main character “John Crammer” intrigues me. It is interesting how he revitalizes people who would have otherwise been irredeemable if he hadn’t captured and given them a series of tests that push human tenacity to the limit.

Apathetic individuals who’ve lost all hope are given a lease on life when John Crammer paints a gory spectre of death right in front of them. It’s surprising how their lives change when they pass these tests. They cease to be self destructive and live normal lives.

But these are just movies anyway. Real life is a lot more complex.

9/19/2015 8 comments

The Signs

by No Name Jane 9/10/2015

written by No Name Jane

When you constantly think about suicide you start to recognize the signs of others who are thinking about it. You notice they mimic some of the things you do. When you’re thinking about self harm and you tug at your sleeves and close your eyes to try and stop thinking about letting blood come from your arms. Or when you play with your necklace trying not to think of it as a noose. You notice when others cringe and close their eyes. When they hold back their tears because no one really cares about what’s going on. We notice but we never really try to […]

9/10/2015 1 comment

Constantly sh*t on

by disgusting 9/9/2015

written by disgusting

Why did I even fucking keep trying to find a place to live because now I do have some place to go and I’m just going to disappoint more people when I kill myself in the near future! Now it’s back to being him more than my being homeless. I can’t even talk to him without him finding some way to push me away and dig the knife in deeper like he wants to fucking hurt me all the time!! He can’t just leave it alone and be my friend. he has to constantly push me away and dismiss my feelings as not real and […]

9/9/2015 4 comments

by Diablo 9/1/2015

written by Diablo

I don’t know what’s going on with me. I’ve been avoiding everyone and one person that’s the hardest to avoid is my boyfriend since he lives 1000+ miles away and looks forward to talking to me everyday. Last night I told him everything that was wrong since I’ve been pushing him away for a few days and he wouldn’t let me get away with it. I told him about my excessive drinking, my smoking cigarettes again (I broke my promise to him), me taking pills, cutting myself and not eating. He tried helping me he was so frustrated and just wanted to do what he […]

9/1/2015 2 comments

Last night.

by Delisnak 8/28/2015

written by Delisnak

my body shakes and i cry. he didnt deserve the way i treated him, i hurt everyone around me. i push people awy but he never left he always stayed by my side untill the day i broke him. I’ve never seen so much pain on someones face, and im just now getting upset over it. all it took was one look at his photo and i completely lost it. it doesnt help that i see him almost everyday. my chest hurts, everything hurts.

8/28/2015 3 comments

What am I doing…

by ProblematicBlonde 8/23/2015

written by ProblematicBlonde

Sometimes I’d just like someone to listen and not judge. I may be crazy but this is tearing me apart. My fiancee, his ex-girlfriend keeps finding a way to bring herself into our relationship. And it’s not even her doing it. You see when I first got with my fiancee, all he did was talk about her.. but I could understand that because they had been together for five years.. He then stopped talking about her when he figured out it bothered me. He now, never speaks of her or anything affiliated with her. It could be because I’m human and overthink […]

8/23/2015 2 comments

Im in despair

by onawingandaprayer 7/25/2015

written by onawingandaprayer

Hi everyone, it’s been a while now since I’ve been checking this site and it’s my first post.

Im a 37 yrs old man from Lebanon (Middle East) and have been suicidal for about three months now. I’ve never opened up to anyone about this. I’m facing collosal monsters (dept, family and work problems)… recently realized that I’m clinically depressed (wasn’t diagnosed though) and that I pushed away every single human being in my life.

I’m sinking into this downward spiral no matter how hard I try to escape it. Really fucking tired of this shit called life and I don’t know if I have the balls […]

7/25/2015 3 comments

Sorry; no inspirational quote today…

by KH 7/23/2015

written by KH

I haven’t been on sp for a few weeks now. Not because I didn’t feel like I needed to; I did. I just couldn’t find the words I needed to let out. I didn’t know what to say or how to say it.

Admittedly, I did have a setback a few days ago… I tried to kill myself. I’d say I got to the point where one more push would have sent me over the edge, literally, but I didn’t do it. Just at that moment – by whatever sort of force of coincidence it was – I received a text from my grandma of all […]

7/23/2015 2 comments

Love evoL

by cant.fixme 7/20/2015

written by cant.fixme

BEFORE

When i see you, i die it’s like i forget how to breath should i inhale should i exhale i never know what to do.
when you look at me, oh with those eyes, they’re brown just brown not so exiting but to me, those eyes are my little universe.
when you smile at me, i swear i loose it all, it’s like the world stop, everything else fades away and it’s just us against the world.
when you touche me, fire run trough my veins, i’m being electrocuted .
when you hug me, i feel at home, it’s my safe heaven i never want […]

7/20/2015 0 comment

by Woozi 7/18/2015

written by Woozi

Who knew that your worst enemies are the ones you’ve spent your whole life with. The ones closest to you. Who you’ve love to death and learned from. Who you’ve trusted the most. Who would’ve guessed they would be the ones to cause the most destruction in your life. Sometimes when you are at the peak of self-destruction and just need a push off the cliff.

7/18/2015 5 comments

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