I was active on this site for a while beginning last fall, but haven’t been here in a couple of months or so. Quite a bit has happened since then, mostly on the job front. I left my workplace of eight years during the first week of April and things have been a bit of a whirlwind. People who have read my previous posts or spoke with me in the past may remember that my job was a large source of my unhappiness. I’m now working somewhere else and it’s a better job per se, but there are plusses and minuses. Strange as it is, I’ve found myself […]
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I live a life of missing others. Whether it is due to death or just the fact that my best friends live 700 miles away, every morning when i wake up I have a long list of those I miss. When I miss someone so much it causes a sort of “pit” in my stomach that makes me not want to be here anymore. It sounds ridiculous- i know. The fact that just missing someone can cause such emotion and thought, but I believe it is more than that. The emotion of missing someone can be overwhelming. I dont just miss people, but also who […]
Every since I found this site it was like a breath of fresh air.. I was finally able to say what was on my mind without scaring people away lol And I would read other peoples post and think did they actually go through with it.?? I really appreciate everyone that commented with words or encouragement and understanding. But its my time. This will be my last post I give up. I’m tired and this time ima make sure I succeed I wish everyone luck in life
Bye
That is what my love is for you. Plain and simple. I know you will never get to read this, my love, but I wanted you to know that I haven’t stopped loving you even for one second. Tomorrow it will be 115 days since I saw you last. I have missed you terribly every single day. No matter the hurt you have caused me, the pain, the betrayal, the lies, the broken promises. It all means nothing when it comes to my love for you. It is unending. It is pure. It is intense. It is all I have left to give. The end […]
ob·ses·sion
?b?seSH?n/
noun
the state of being obsessed with someone or something.
“she cared for him with a devotion bordering on obsession”
an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person’s mind.
plural noun: obsessions
“he was in the grip of an obsession he was powerless to resist”
So my short story is about obsession, not love. It’s kind of poetic, actually, or so I’ve been told. Read more here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1qzldTyxHx99uPfQ0Cdt-st5LwKzZ158d21aeP34IC68/edit
Its something I’ve been thinking about for a while, while depression is not a recent phenomenon it is something that has seen a staggering rise in recent years, among all age groups. Perhaps it is a natural product of our evolution. In previous centuries humanity was heavily orientated around physical labor, be it farming, construction or whatever. In those times i believe physical illnesses were higher, naturally i believe the heavy basses of the hole physicality of the time bread those physical issues. I think humanity has reached its point in the evolutionary chain where our physical self has evolved to close to its end […]
No need for ending. There is none. Think wide. Don’t think. And suffer. Concentrate on tiny things, and then on big things, and then again, again, again, (don’t read this…pointless writing sorry)
I found this place whilst looking for a website similar to those I’ve read about in books. You know, those shitty YA novels with suicidal teens who find their suicide partners on some website called ‘smooth passages’ or whatever. Do they really exist? This it the closest thing i’ve found.. and I’m not even sure why I’m here.
I am going to try to end this in less than 10 hours
need to find a specific chemical
and also I need to inject it, IV
two hard works
I don’t know how to inject IV, I’ve read some internet guide but I don’t know how useful it would be
wish me luck guys
Okay, so here is the link to read what I have written so far of my short story. I’ll be updating it probably daily, and would really like your opinions on it. Thanks.
https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/takeatest.html
An attitude is your evaluation of some concept (person, place, thing, or idea). An explicit attitude is the kind of attitude […]
Dear city of more,
It seems like it will never end. I want to be out in the streets with you, out fighting the good fight but I am debilitated by this sorrow. I am not able to do my own work. I can only read articles and weave through media to get tangled in this debate that is no debate at all. I send to you love, the little I have in my heart. I am worn but will resist in the ways I can and will be there when I can, as much as I want to just die and not have to see […]
I will buy you this book, I don’t have a discount, there is nothing in it for me other than the interesting perspective I think it might offer you.
Its called “This is How” by Augusten Burroughs. The description is:
If you’re fat and fail every diet, if you’re thin but can’t get thin enough, if you lose your job, if your child dies, if you are diagnosed with cancer, if you always end up with exactly the wrong kind of person, if you always end up alone, if you can’t get over the past, if your parents are insane and ruining your life, if you really […]
life has been really hard on me these past few days years. i kinda want to go to the library in town, check out a g i a n t stack of books, and just read somewhere quiet and out of the way. there are some books i want to read i haven’t read before, and a couple old favorites i want to read again. i’d have to walk there, and it’s kinda chilly outside, but i should be fine with a jacket. letting it warm up a few more degrees, and then i might. these probably are going to be my final […]
I tell you i’m serious. Over and over I tell you i’m serious. I tell you if you’re not serious then get the fuck away from me. I tell you to fucking be serious. Every comment you’ve posted affirms my view of this world because i told you to stop and you wouldn’t and could not stop because you love what you do. you characterize me when i explicitly and obviously tell you otherwise. you diminish every single one of my words. you deliberately write comments that sound unfazed and uncaring and smug. you need to go away. you need to stop typing because you […]
As I’m near the end for the third time in 2 1/2 weeks, my main wish is for success. I have read the statistics on suicide attempts over and over. I know the dangers of a failed attempt.
So my realistic, rational wish is to be able to do it right and not leave myself in even worse shape than I’m now. Because as much pain as I’m in now, it would be worse if I fail.
But regardless of that wish, I still have another wish that is not realistic. It’s actually quite irrational, as it is not possible and would never happen.
Those that have read […]
Three weeks ago, I posted what I had hoped was the last thing I’d ever write. Fast forward three weeks and I am still here, afraid to kill myself. I know how I want to do it, I know what needs to be done to end it. I’ve lost my girlfriend, distanced myself from friends and family as much as possible, written my notes, everything is in order. Despite all these things, I am still so afraid to attempt suicide again because I am afraid to fail for a second time. I ask myself every day why I am here, why I allow myself to […]
http://youtu.be/bFHKBCz-ml0
I have been in this place one to many times. I have been in the deep dark depths of my mind and I can’t seem to escape from my sadness. I have been able to recover and travel a long way in my life and saying FUCK YOU to those who have fucked me over and choose to bully me and beat me down. I come here out of all places to receive love and support not to be bullied. I have been beaten down so many times and I have been pushed to the ground. I don’t want to be here anymore and I […]
I really just need to vent out my problems to someone. I’m 15 and in high school, but I fucking hate my life. I hate my gender, my personality, and how i talk to people. Being on anxiety meds makes me talk more and when I talk, I say the stupidest shit. I hate being a guy and hate that people pertend that i’m not there. I swear everybody only talks to me out of pity. The only thing I can do is cut, but I’ve stop doing it as of late because it causes too many problems. I just hate myself and sometimes think […]
go here to read
http://suicideproject.org/wp-admin/post.php?post=327062&action=edit