Tag:

realize

what happened?

by an_old_child 3/15/2015

written by an_old_child

i used to be a very happy child. i’m still always smiling almost all the time but it’s a fake smile covering my true feelings. this life means nothing to me. and one of the reasons that i hate myself is that my feelings are easily changed so i cannot be sure about what i really feel.

why are we here? isn’t this a bit strange for you? what does life mean? what if i wasn’t born at all? there MUST be some reasons for being here!

i feel i’m in prison. i don’t like to be here. and sometimes i suspect that other people are not real […]

3/15/2015 6 comments

Again

by comomequieranllamar 3/6/2015

written by comomequieranllamar

And again I’m crying like a child.

My mother and my sister both asked for my help at the same time. I can’t be in two places. They don’t seem to understand.

I left my only hobby, the only moment of the week when I see people and do something I like, because every week I had to pick up my sister from the train at that hour. Just too tired to argue with her.

I study in a online university, just to have time to work and pay for my degree. But I have to work in my mother’s shop for free so we don’t have to […]

3/6/2015 3 comments

Everyone is worth it….

by restrictingheart 3/2/2015

written by restrictingheart

“Sweet soul, you have done more than you give yourself credit for, you are far more beautiful than you make out, you have made your way past moments that could have destroyed you and your future shines brighter than you realize. Celebrate yourself in this moment. The world is fortunate to have you.” ~ S.C. Lourie

Have hope and don’t be so hard on yourselves. You are always better, more important, and more alive than you feel in the darkest moments. there is light and there is a tomorrow.

3/2/2015 0 comment

Do some of you know about lucid dreams and false awakening?

by DieAlone 2/24/2015

written by DieAlone

I had an horrible night tonight… Among other things, I dreamed i was locked in psych ward, trying to escape… And finally a friend helped me to commit suicide… Weird, but it’s not the first time dreams like that have happened.
Throughout this dream i knew i was dreaming…In some may, i could decide what i wanted to do or not, as in real life…It’s what i call “lucid dreams”. But everytime i had these lucid dreams, then I’m suffering from false awakening. I felt trapped in the dream… With no way of escape from it and wake up.

Everytime I try to wake up, i […]

2/24/2015 5 comments

Extremely Depressed

by lonleyk 2/22/2015

written by lonleyk

I think about it all the time……killing myself. I’m in a abusive, manipulated, horrible relationship. I am 31 and female. My common law husband is 43, so we are many years apart. He is horrible to me. He plays mind games with me all the time, manipulates every situation that he can with me. He makes me feel horrible about myself and he thinks he is better than anyone.

Because of all this I want to kill myself. I just can’t take this pain anymore. I can’t leave cuz I do love him, but at the same time I can’t take his shit. I feel like […]

2/22/2015 3 comments

Dreamworld And the Crash: Another Shitty Poem

by Another quiet one 2/21/2015

written by Another quiet one

In a world all our own
We ponder unknown things
Far above what was sown
We pull on the strings
Of fantasy and reality
To make ourselves kings
Until something breaks our vanity
A revelation appears
To shake our insanity

For delusion is our fuel
To escape from our fate
And when reality is cruel
We realize we are too late
Our lives were decided
On a long gone date
And for dreams we are chided
By truths awful hate

That my fantasies were the only thing left
And I lied:
About qualities of which I am bereft
And when the illusion died
I realized the theft

2/21/2015 1 comment

Hold

by Matt 2/18/2015

written by Matt

isnt it scary how one person can have such a hold over you??

i wanted to sleep tonight but my mind wouldnt rest, so i went through all my text conversations from months ago.

ive long since deleted our text histories, along with your number. i wish i hadnt, i miss the cute things we said to each other when one of us was down

i honestly dont know where things stand with us. i dont know whether you hate me, or if you just think youre giving me space until im better. either way, youre not here and youre really the only person i want to talk […]

2/18/2015 1 comment

we fight to stay alive.

by alexmckim 2/16/2015

written by alexmckim

We fight and fight to stay alive. Our thoughts always going back to “no one cares” “they are better off without me” “my death would be a blessing to them”. But even though the thoughts are there we fight and fight. We climb to stay alive. But it seems now adays that if your an out cast or your alone or you have a mental or physical disability then your a freak that shouldn’t share the same space as those who are ” better”. I sit here and I see it all the time. Someone says “I’m lonly and depressed” someone would respond “no one […]

2/16/2015 0 comment

self-hatred, trapped in hell, my freaking fault may offend you

by silvermoon 2/8/2015

written by silvermoon

Please dont judge me for writing this. I need to get this shit out. You aren’t perfect either, so please dont judge me. Life is a cruel thing, self-hatred is all I am left with, living in a rural place with only snow for company and these terrible things. I can’t shut my perpetrator’s voice off. I can’t shut off the demons. God must really love me, yeah, to punish me so fucking hard. Tired of God. I missed the boat with housing years ago and now will be punished in hell forever b/c of it, forever hating myself, all I want to do is […]

2/8/2015 5 comments

Hope

by RedSmile 2/7/2015

written by RedSmile

Am I the only that get trapped by hope, thinking that, soon, all’s gonna be ok and then realize that it’s not, that it’s just gonna be worse? I wish I had the balls to end my life and leave far away from this hell. But I’m staying, I’m thinking that it’s worth waiting and then, I’m suffering more, I take a razor and put it in my flesh. As I watch the blood out of my skin with colds eyes, I’m wondering when do will I commit suicide. Right now, I want it but I can’t. Hope is what making me stay but it’s […]

2/7/2015 2 comments

by Slowly_Fading 1/29/2015

written by Slowly_Fading

I don’t know how much longer I can take this. I hate being here. I hate suffering. I’ve failed my parents. I’ve failed as a student. I’ve even failed as a speech captain. I thought I could do it. I was stupid. Stupid for thinking I could ever be anything more than a piece of shit daughter. My parents found out about my self harm and suicidal thoughts. They told me that I’m just an attention seeker and that, that isn’t the way to get attention in this house. So I switched kinda… I didn’t realize it at first but a few days ago I […]

1/29/2015 1 comment

Rise above this

by danno 1/15/2015

written by danno

Like all of us here, ive spent more than enuff time swimming in a pool of self imposed agony, I realize its all an illusion inside my head. Ultimately ive decided to LET GO. And realize we all are dying whether we want to or not. I guess suffering is nessesary in order to see the truth. It became easier when i just stopped caring.

1/15/2015 2 comments

Checkin’ Out…

by diablofan83 1/5/2015

written by diablofan83

Well I’m finally to the point where I’m ready to go. I’ve been a waste of air these past few months anyways. I thought soo much better of you, but as always, you never fail to disappoint. “Did he say anything about not being able to see his son for his Birthday?”. Yeah, I heard all about it like always. Your hurting him the most out of all of us.

But I forgive you, mainly because I have to. I guess a lot has to do with the fact that despite what you’ve done to me, I still love you. Must be unconditional love, who knows. […]

1/5/2015 1 comment

Failure + Fraud

by internethandle 1/4/2015

written by internethandle

I have always been a failure. For most of my life I have been successful at convincing others that I have things together and know where I’m trying to go and what I’m trying to do, but I have never known. Any successes I have had have stemmed purely from luck and circumstance and any situations that I have been deprived of either of these has led to certain failure and a complete inability to function like a human being. And in many of those circumstances where I did get lucky, I was either discovered a fraud or imploded the situation myself out of fear […]

1/4/2015 12 comments

Out of reach

by stuckwiththisusername 12/21/2014

written by stuckwiththisusername

whats that one thing that you see in front of you that you know you’ll never get….

12/21/2014 7 comments

We’re all fighting the same battle.

by livinginthepast 12/17/2014

written by livinginthepast

Coming on this site has made me realize how many of us around the world have stories that teach us we are not alone in the hurt and suffering. Maybe in some solemn sort of way we are all one note away from playing the same song. Perhaps this site shall be our choir and our songs shall live on…

12/17/2014 3 comments

Suicide room(Film)

by FeelingFunny 12/11/2014

written by FeelingFunny

Really good movie, very intense. You can watch the whole movie online. Seriously, please don’t watch it if your easily triggered by self destructive tendencies like self harming or are currently feeling suicidal. Also, I really hope you see the movies true message and that it might help you realize that suicide is not the answer.

12/11/2014 0 comment

I don’t know anymore

by someone13 12/9/2014

written by someone13

Well.. I’m starting to think it’s my time to go.I can feel so tragic but yet so calm about saying I want to die.I want to do things like Christmas but if I share and show im upset now I’ll be in the hospital for Christmas. I don’t want that. There’s nothing to like about me.I don’t even like myself and I never will.Im trying to figure out a time when to end it but I can’t find it and my suicide note isn’t even that good.Im messing my life up. Making people worried, wanting to kill myself,think everyone hates me out of the blue.I […]

12/9/2014 3 comments

come on people…..

by AndreaJonesConrady 12/5/2014

written by AndreaJonesConrady

good god, what a depressing reality it must be to never grow out of the mindset that keeps you stuck like you are. I am a survivor, I am hopeful, I am powerful. I am strong enough to know, the world isn’t so bad, you need to change cities, change jobs, do something drastic, besides hurting yourself or others. You haven’t even experienced the world yet, trust me things change all the time, in 5 years things won’t be so shitty, and if they still are change something! Do something, I’ve found what helped me, was helping others, giving my love out for free knowing […]

12/5/2014 42 comments

That awful word to hear

by alice123 11/26/2014

written by alice123

Suddenly i realized that it is not my nightmares i am afraid of, or the monster that hides inside me, nor the ghosts that hide in the corners or the darkness inside my mind.. i realize that what I’m actually afraid of is being alone.. “alone” that awful word to hear.

11/26/2014 6 comments

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